Lifeboat

Year: 1944 (USA)
Genre: Drama/Survival Film
Directed: Alfred Hitchcock
Stars: Tallulah Bankhead, William Bendix, Walter Slezak, Mary Anderson, John Hodiak, Henry Hull, Heather Angel, Hume Cronyn, Canada Lee
Production: 20th Century Fox

Lifeboat (1944) is considered one of Alfred Hitchcock's minor films. Much like Vertigo (1958) there are well defined and brilliantly acted characters, like Dial M for Murder (1954) the setting is tight and confined, in this case a sole lifeboat and not a London apartment. Also like Foreign Correspondent (1940) and Saboteur (1942), the movie has a blatant and obvious political purpose. It's a propaganda film through and through, myopically grappling on the zeitgeist of WWII.














But just like all the aforementioned films, Lifeboat is likewise a well made masterpiece.

Will they ever see Wilson again?

The film begins just after the torpedoing of an allied ship by a German U-Boat (which was also destroyed). A single lifeboat carries an assorted crew including reporter Connie Porter (Tallulah Bankhead), millionaire Charles Rittenhouse (Henry Hull), crew members John, Gus, Joe and Stanley (William Bendix, John Hodiak, Canada Lee and Hume Cronyn respectively), Nurse Alice (Mary Anderson), solemn passenger Mrs. Higgins (Heather Angel) and a German U-Boat officer the rest dub Willy (Walter Slezak). At first the group is suspicious of their fellow German survivor. Will the group be able to get out of their predicament?

As you can imagine in an adapt-and-survive tale like this there are a lot of man versus the elements moments which up the suspense. The group faces raging winds and storms, a lack of potable water, navigation without a compass and illness and injury. If solely taken for a survival story, Lifeboat may just be among the best the decade had to offer. The fact that the entire movie takes place in and around a mid-sized dingy is a testament to Hitchcock's singularly brilliant direction. Of course the well drawn characters were made whole by John Steinbeck who distanced himself from the film for its "positive portrayal" of the Nazi character.

Cuz we all know Nazis can't be cool blokes.

The fact that many critics at the time dismissed the film for being too pro-Nazi is an attestation to the fear and hatred shared by the allies, particularly the British towards the Germans. In newsreels, magazines and comic books the enemy was seen as subhuman and bloodthirsty. In Lifeboat the character Willy was sneaky, untrustworthy and manipulative and for that he was considered not villainous enough? Who were they expecting; Beelzebub? Sauron…

This guy?

I was half-expecting the survivors of the shipwreck to be more symbiotic. The other half was hoping that if and when things do get all "Lord of the Flies", when the survivors are rescued there'd be a moment of contrition. Neither of these things happens and we're left with a little too much chest-pounding for my taste; the voice of reason and law muted by mob rule.

Of course I am too far removed from the realities of the time. Hitchcock wanted to represent a group of squabbling allies who mobilize to confront a seemingly invincible foe; a microcosm of the larger conflicts of WWII. The animosities of the time were due to perceived stakes and luckily I have never had to experience the cruelties of the Third Reich first hand so who am I to talk? Transplanting a modern perspective on an aged piece of art is like putting a CD player in a 1965 Mustang; it diminishes the art.

Used to be the interior of a 1953 Studebaker.

Lifeboat ultimately is a masterpiece of the highest order. Engrossing, technically flawless and thematically brilliant, the movie about a band of survivors faced with the vastness of the Atlantic Ocean is yet another feather in Hitchcock's derby. More than that, it's a telling piece of cinematic history that accurately sums up the frightening uncertainty of a world consumed by war. Do you a favor and set sail for Lifeboat.

...or, you know, towards land

Final Grade: B-

Essentials: Ed Wood

Year: 1994 (USA)
Genre: Drama/Biography
Directed: Tim Burton
Stars: Johnny Depp, Martin Landau, Sarah Jessica Parker, Patricia Arquette, Jeffrey Jones, G.D. Spradlin, Vincent D'Onofrio, Bill Murray, Mike Starr, Lisa Marie, George 'The Animal' Steele
Production: Touchstone Pictures

There have plenty of director/actor partnerships throughout the years. John Ford had John Wayne whom called him Pappy; Martin Scorsese had Robert De Niro to help define his artistic talents and the obsessive Werner Herzog had the equally unbalanced Klaus Kinski. But if any partnership typifies the dynamic in today's modern Hollywood it'd be the peculiar Tim Burton and heartthrob Johnny Depp. Over a twenty year association the two have made eight films together from the much celebrated Edward Scissorhands (1990) to the much maligned Dark Shadows (2012) with seizures of creativity in between.

Pictured: Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham-Carter and Tim Burton
about to start a wicked threeway

Arguably the best film the two have ever made together was the little seen early ninties film Ed Wood (1994). The film depicts the life and times of Edward D. Wood Jr., a film director commonly dubbed the worst auteur who ever lived. Since his passing, his paltry eight full feature films have become the stuff of legend, finding fandom among schlock-horror fans and sci-fi film buffs who laugh at their cheapness and incompetence. His opus, Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959) includes ineptitudes from switching daylight to night in seconds, plainly visible film equipment and priceless lines like "Inspector Clay is dead, murdered and somebody's responsible." 

Ed Wood's script is written by oft writing collaborators Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski who subsequently wrote The People Vs. Larry Flynt (1996) and Man on the Moon (1999). Clearly they have a talent and enthusiasm for writing about oddballs. Their script lays the foundation for an intimate portrayal of Wood and his loyal band of misfits. It's solemn yet offbeat and quirky leading to some inspiring moments, many of which involving Johnny Depp and Martin Landau's infamous Bela Lugosi. There is one scene where the heroin addicted former horror star contemplates suicide aiming a pistol first at himself then at his good friend Ed. "Buddy, I don't know if that's such a good idea" says Wood. "If you give me the gun, I'll make you a drink. What are you drinking?" "Formaldehyde," says Lugosi. "Straight up or on the rocks?"

Johnny Depp once described his characterization of Ed Wood as a mix between Ronald Reagan and the Tin Man from The Wizard of Oz (1939). The man's optimism in the face of rejection drives the film with the quickened pace of an energizer bunny. His wits are matched by the supporting players which include Bill Murray, Jeffrey Jones, George 'The Animal' Steele, Patricia Arquette and Sarah Jessica Parker who can only swallow the fact Wood is a hack for so long.

Hey everyone, Meet the Munsters!

The real draw of course is Martin Landau whose interpretation of Bela Lugosi, the original Dracula (1931) is astounding. It isn't mere impersonation which, lets face it, everyone has an impression of Dracula; no its pure stagecraft. His stellar performance ranks in this writer's mind as possibly the best and most accurate depiction of a real personality ever put to film. Landau would go on to win an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor and God bless him for that.

The movie is shot in black and white which might deter some viewers. Yet for those who ever wanted to reward themselves with a gratifying story about the foibles of filmmaking, or amerce themselves in Z-Movie lunacy watch Ed Wood. It exhibits shrewd writing by seasoned professionals and features some top-notch performances including one of the best Depp has ever committed to celluloid.

Final Grade: A

The Ballad of Cable Hogue

Year: 1970 (USA)
Genre: Western/Western Comedy
Directed: Sam Peckinpah
Stars: Jason Robards, Stella Stevens, David Warner, Strother Martin, Slim Pickens, L.Q. Jones, Peter Whitney, R.G. Armstrong, Gene Evans, Kathleen Freeman, Susan O'Connell
Production: Warner Bros.

Those who can think back to grade school no doubt can recall their class reading snippets of "The Iliad" or "The Odyssey" among other folklore of ancient antiquity. Even if you've never read the legends or seen the Disney movie, Hercules is a name we can all recognize along with Odysseus, Orion, Jason and the Argonauts etc. In a thousand years those names will likely be relegated into obscurity, replaced by the likes of Rooster Cogburn, Django and The Man with No Name. Yes love them or hate them, Westerns are the American mythology, likely to outlast even our ambitious Democratic experiment.

Also boobies!

What will the poets say about The Ballad of Cable Hogue (1970) probably my favorite western film since The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance (1962)? Well modern critics say it's a wistful farewell love letter to the west; a Sam Peckinpah oddity that strives for humor over outright violence; at times a romantic comedy too saccharine for its own good. Yet The Ballad of Cable Hogue is so much more than that. Beneath its broad and occasionally satirical joviality there's not just the beating heart of true western heroism but a doctrine of positivism.

The film starts with our hero Cable (Jason Robards), who is double-crossed by his partners in crime (L.Q. Jones and Strother Martin). Forced to wonder the desert with no water or gun, Cable is near death when he stumbles onto a muddy hole in the ground. He digs with his withered hands to find an underground spring that saves his life. The spring is smack dab between two rural towns connected by a stagecoach trail. Despite having nothing but two nickels and the clothes on his back and being functionally illiterate, Cable manages to buy the rights to the land and makes a name for himself as a the chintzy proprietor of Cable Springs.

Revenge plays a large role in Cable's master plan though what he didn't count on was the friendship of the eccentric reverend Joshua Duncan Sloane (David Warner) with a penchant for courting married women. What starts as a tumultuous relationship, blossoms into a mutual respect; philosophizing about the nature of love and loss. Cable also didn't count on a chance meeting with Hildy (Stella Stevens) an ambitious prostitute who at first sees him for the scallywag he is. She has dreams of moving to San Francisco and marrying the richest guy in the city but her plans get complicated when the two become close.

Apparently this is a bad thing

The love the two shares is based on respect and necessity. Both are considered too uncouth for life in the small town nearby. First time in town, Cable pour water on a banker's pants then nearly destroys a Christian revival tent. Cable then sets up his pit stop and regales and disgusts travelers with his backcountry ways and diet. Hildy is a little more refined than the gruff-and-tumble Cable but nonetheless makes a living in a house of ill-repute. Eventually the town gets fed up with her and drives her off as far as Cable Springs.

When asked by Hildy if Cable minded sleeping with an experienced woman Cable responds in his plainspoken way "Hell no, it never bothered me…We all got our own ways of living." It's that self-determination and individualism that keeps the story so interesting and worthy of repeated viewings. She helps him until she feels the need to leave for San Francisco to the disappointment but understanding of Cable. There is no compromise in this love story. Both parties don't mind the lack of compromise however because the time they spent together was the most important thing. They understand each other.

What some claim Cable Hogue to be wistful I say the film is more triumphant. Not to spoil the film for you but Cable does bump into his former associates before the film's end. What results isn't necessarily in the tradition of American western folklore. Unlike Lonely Are the Brave (1962) or Hud (1963), The Ballad of Cable Hogue accepts with open arms the ideas of progress both intellectually and technologically and even postulates that thinking in the past is pejorative.

Say yes to progress

Yet Cable remains a product of his time and is left back in the romantic vantages of the wild, wild west. With great humor, warmth and stubborn industry his ballad is a cinematic cultural piece, a legend that exemplifies what the little guy did to tame the wilds of that time. Do not fret the loss of Cable's way of life. Instead appreciate the fact that for a time people lived and were made better by those who found water where there was none.

Final Grade: A

Say Anything...

Year: 1989 (USA)
Genre: Romantic Comedy/High School Movie
Directed: Cameron Crowe
Stars: John Cusack, Ione Skye, John Mahoney, Lili Taylor, Amy Brooks, Pamela Adlon, Jason Gould, Loren Dean, Glenn Walker Harris Jr.
Production: Gracie Films

Say Anything… (1989) is one of those rare late-eighties, early-nineties romantic comedies that can appeal to both men and the fairer sex. You know the type: When Harry Met Sally… (1989) Pretty Woman (1990) Sleepless in Seattle (1993) et al. Yet Say Anything… is one of the few exceptionally good and mature love stories that takes place in the torrid-love-affair-overload land of high school. Well maybe not, it more takes place in the insular time between high school and college but let’s not split hairs for the sake of the kids.

So you like gladiator movies?

John Cusack plays an eccentric yet well-meaning goofball whose been pining for the school’s valedictorian for a good long while. His friends played by Amy Brooks and a singularly jejune Lily Taylor think she’s out of his league; “brains stick with brains,” she says while strumming her guitar. Yet Lloyd Dobler takes a chance anyway and to his great surprise gets a yes from Ione Skye’s ethereal ingénue. They then are given the summer to bond before she goes to college in England.

Love means never having to say...agh! Water in my nose!

The start of the movie lulls you into a false sense of knowing. Of course Lloyd Dobler is going to end up going out with Diane Court. Everyone including her father (John Mahoney) doesn’t think it’s going to work out. Their names are even phonetically at odds. Diane? Lloyd? Might as well call them Joe and Princess Ann. Yet this movie isn’t about falling in love, it’s about being in love and believe me there is a big difference.

Dobler and Diane grow to love one another by relating to each other and have a mutual interest in learning about each other. Lloyd looks out for her and accepts the goals she has made for herself and adapts accordingly. While we do see less adaptation from Diane it’s hard for her to accommodate Lloyd when his life plans are so up in the air. Yet even with his tacit inkling towards a career in kickboxing you can tell Diane would be there to support him when push comes to shove. They have a good thing going and quickly shed the clique dynamics of high school in exchange for something more real.

Real and less volatile as evidenced by the juxtaposition of Lily Taylor’s obsession with a two timer named Joe (Loren Dean). That single relationship informs her worldview and is the impetuous for her songwriting yet at first glance he clearly isn’t worth the heartache. It’s a childish obsession at odds with Lloyd’s commitment based interconnection with Diane. When Diane describes her first sexual experience with Lloyd to her father, it wasn’t a decision wholly based on a whim. She put thought into her adult decision and Lloyd was right there, chomping at the bit like guys would, but still being an adult about it.

Diane is given abundant support by her loving father who is displeased with her choice in boyfriend. Lloyd might be sincere but his ambitions are nebulous which would concern any protective father. Yet don’t think for a moment John Mahoney’s Mr. Court is the bad guy, even if the subplot involving money laundering feels skivvy. The very fact that Diane could confide in him when she loses her virginity should be evidence enough of their special bond. Even Lloyd picks up on the supportive relationship saying “You two are amazing, you know? The way you talk…I’m not even like that with anybody.”

Now call me daddy!

Say Anything… is a romantic comedy in the classical sense. In one exchange Diane says “Nobody thinks it will work do they?” to which Lloyd retorts, “No, you just described every great success story.” Yet director Cameron Crowe probes deeper than frivolity. It’s a love story that examines love through sacrifice, commitment, compromise and growth. There are many films that express the elation of falling hear over heals, the serendipity of forming close bonds and the promise of romance. But few ever give you the true meaning and consequence of love. Ultimately it’s not about a sentimental letter or sending flowers, mostly it’s about holding someone’s hands and telling them things are going to turn out alright.

What do you mean It's Always Sunny is being canceled?

Final Grade: C-

The Night Porter

Year: 1974 (Italy)
Genre: Drama/Exploitation Film
Directed: Liliana Cavani
Stars: Dirk Bogarde, Charlotte Rampling, Philippe Leroy, Gabriele Ferzetti, Giuseppe Addobbati, Isa Miranda, Nino Bignamini, Marino Mase, Amedeo Amodio
Production: Ital-Noleggio Cinematografico


Imagine you live in Germany. Only a decade has passed since the end of WWII. The Cold War is in full swing and your country is separated by east and west. Infrastructure is back to normal but the scars inflicted by the war have only begun to heal. You were an SS officer who used to have a job that was unpleasant, yet in your mind necessary. Now you’re a lowly night porter for a swanky hotel in West Berlin.

Thus starts the story of Maximilian Aldorfer (Dirk Bogarde) a man who lurks in the shadows along with a small cabal of surviving Nazis. They quietly meet to conduct “trials” to conceal any inkling of their past before the authorities find out, going so far as to kill possible witnesses. Max’s life is unassuming and guilt-ridden; “I want to live like a church mouse” he says. That is until the arrival of Lucia (Charlotte Rampling), a former concentration camp prisoner whom he had a sadomasochistic relationship with and was her pseudo-protector. They recognize each other right away and the question becomes what will they do about it?

See I know my German folklore! Aren't I smart

The movie devolves from its tension inducing premise to a sensationalistic exploitation film. Don’t get me wrong its leaps and bounds above Ilsa: She Wolf of the SS (1975) but the intention is artistically the same and the fact that director Liliana Cavani tries to claw for deeper meanings beyond its trashy premise makes the film more manipulative than engrossing. There are references to the book of Mark and John the Baptist, a near naked ballet sequence of Mozart’s Die Zauberflote and comparisons between Pelleas and Melisande all of which amount to a bucket of filth. It a film that attempts cultural literacy but makes the fatal mistake of being alienating, unpleasant and ultimately wearisome to watch.

The Night Porter (1974) is not so much a movie as it is a forceful invitation into the minds of two severely damaged people. As the relationship between Max and Lucia turn into a despairing echo of what it used to be we see the extent of Lucia’s Stockholm syndrome and the depths of Max’s depravity. Yet what is forced upon us is the notion that this sordid love story 1: matters and 2: is tragic in a saccharine Romeo and Juliet kind of way.

There is an uncomfortable, long-running juxtaposition between sadomasochism and Nazis. Perhaps it’s because even today we equate Nazism with death, destruction and absolute authority. In some circles it’s hard not to get aroused by staring death in the face (especially when it’s carrying a whip). But while I’m sure this sexual predilection pre-dates The Night Porter, Salo, or the 120 Days of Sodom (1975) and The Producers (1967) I can’t help but feel this kind of treatment makes light of the Nazis and their resoundingly negative contribution to world history. Perhaps instead of dressing up in black leather and swastikas it would be wise to downgrade to a Vichy Greatcoat and Kepi, you know, just in case a friend goes rummaging through your closet.

Or this freakin' happens

Ultimately while the premise is intriguing and there are touches of artistic merit, The Night Porter is an insipid, opportunistic treatment of history. It makes menial attempts at making its characters believable and relatable but sequentially removes them from a realm of reality within the films final, grueling half hour. What should have been a movie about history, human frailty or lacking that credible love, became a kinky provocation offering little other than cheap thrills.

Final Grade: D+

Zardoz

Year: 1974 (USA)
Genre: Sci-Fi Drama
Directed: John Boorman
Stars: Sean Connery, Charlotte Rampling, Sara Kestelman, John Alderton, Sally Anne Newton, Niall Buggy, Bosco Hogan, Jessica Swift
Production: John Boorman Productions


In a faraway post-apocalyptic future, the world is ablaze with anarchy and feudal war. One barbaric horde seems to be favored by the god they call Zardoz, a floating stone face which gives its favored people guns to kill and enslave others. Zed (Sean Connery), an Exterminator grows suspicious and investigates beyond the Vortex to find a community of Immortal humans pulling the strings.

There are many weighty themes expanded upon in Zardoz (1974) including life, death, eugenics, law, artificial intelligence and the pursuit of knowledge. The Immortals of the Vortex have developed a complex social structure that takes advantage of their psychic abilities while placating their corrupt sensibilities. In time we come to understand the what, when, why and how of such a place and Connery’s Zed comes to grips with what he has to do to help humanity.

Seriously, what the hell?

That’s all well and good but even at a modest 105 minutes, the film feels like a marathon. The movie glacially moves towards revealing pieces of the puzzle yet there is too little tension or character empathy to hold interest. Head-cocking images are lathered on the screen attempting to create a complex mosaic of symbolism and iconography but only serve to confuse and trouble the viewer. It’s obvious that John Boorman was looking to make his own 1984 but only succeeded in showing how shoddy set dressing really was in the 70’s. Seriously, what were the makers of this film thinking? My theory is after the success of Deliverance (1972); Boorman was given carte blanche to do whatever he wanted thus this strange, seriously flawed film.

Part of the blame lies with the scrabbled script also written by John Boorman which fails to balance its high-minded themes and in so doing fails to give the audience characterization, narrative or plot. Sean Connery’s Zed probably only had twenty lines in the entire movie while Bosco Hogan’s character Saden unconvincingly oozes superficiality by talking oh so excessively. Charlotte Rampling tries her best to adapt to a script that is openly hostel to her. She and other female characters are treated so diminutively and savagely it seemed the only point of their existence in the world of Zardoz was T & A.

Also penis...

I suppose if I wanted to peak anyone’s interest in Zardoz, I could tell you the film is cluttered with biblical allegory, existential philosophy and prying conversations about the nature of man (most of which take a Freudian dimension). I can understand someone liking this mess and putting it into the same category as the equally misanthropic The Fountain (2006). The more misguided might welcome comparisons to Brazil (1985), 2001: A Space Odyssey (1968) and Kurt Vonnegut’s Slaughter-House Five.

Yea no, Zardoz is to Kurt Vonnegut what The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002) is to Jules Verne. This movie is a confusing jumble that never holds the attention and certainly holds no value outside its lofty premise. The future of the human race has never looked so blah and inconceivably morose. Add to that Sean “I-was-once-James Bond” Connery in a red leather man thong and you have yourself on of the most bizarre science fiction flicks to ever be produced. Ever wanted to know what an ugly mix of decent ideas looks like? Check out Zardoz.

Final Grade: F

Giant

Year: 1956 (USA)
Genre: Western/Family Drama
Directed: George Stevens
Stars: Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor, James Dean, Carroll Baker, Jane Withers, Chill Wills, Mercedes McCambridge, Dennis Hopper, Sal Mineo, Rod Taylor, Judith Evelyn
Production: Warner Bros.


Ah James Dean. Before Heath Ledger, Brandon Lee and River Phoenix became hagiographical symbols of what could have been, James Dean reined supreme as king of his own morbid death cult. Adorning the walls of many a young women’s bedrooms since his tragic death in 1955, James Dean is still immortalized today despite that fact that he only been in three movies before his fatal car crash.

Yet out of those three films, Dean garnered two posthumous Academy Award nominations for Elia Kazan’s East of Eden (1955) and George Steven’s Giant (1956). This in addition to gaining heartthrob status in the stupefying Rebel Without a Cause (1955) a film about a troubled teenager arriving in a new suburban town. Before Giant, Rebel Without a Cause was the only James Dean flick I had seen. I honestly thought his work in that film was over-the-top to the point of parody. I understand without Rebel we wouldn’t have teen movies along the lines of John Hughes but do you really expect me to swallow Dean’s conniption fits in front of his parents?

Why won't you let me out past 9?! You're ruining my life! I hate you!!

Giant sees the capable actor putting much more depth into his character Jett. The film starts with Bick Benedict (Rock Hudson) and Leslie (Elizabeth Taylor) falling in love and marrying each other. Jett is in love with Luz (Mercedes McCambridge) Bick’s sister and fellow stakeholder in the Benedict family fortune. After Luz’s tragic death, Jett is bequeathed land which becomes profitable through oil. As the extended family matures and becomes embittered by rivalry, both Jett and Bick become richer through oil and cattle ranching respectively.

WOOHOOO OIL!!!!

The movie spans generations with the closing scenes taking place with Bick and Leslie in their 60’s. The rivalry between Bick and Jett remains the focus for the first part of the film while the second part is dominated by Bick’s frustration toward his three children played by Carroll Baker, Fran Bennett and Dennis Hooper who go their separate paths instead of becoming ranchers. Hooper desires to become a doctor while Baker would like a small modest place with her high school sweetheart. The young Fran Bennett who lights up the screen seems to be the only one interested in life on the ranch but things get complicated when it’s revealed her character is dating the much older Jett.

They all don’t want to be ranchers like generations before them which highlight another theme in the film; the changing attitudes and customs of younger generations. Bick is forced to accept the changing attitudes of his family and society sometimes unwillingly but nevertheless looks to provide everything he can to his family. At the beginning of the movie, Bick treats the Mexicans who work on his ranch with indifference and inflexibility to the chagrin of the more socially enlightened Leslie. By the end of the film Hooper’s character falls in love with a Mexican girl whom he later marries.

...and you won't believe what happens next!

Jett on the other hand becomes consumed with animosity towards the Benedicts after the death of his beloved Luz. All of his actions serve not to destroy them necessarily but to show them he’s better than they are. A perfect example of this is when he confronts Bick to allow oil exploration to help the war effort (WWII). While they’re technically working together at this point in the film, Jett looks to lord his patriotism and later his wealth over the Benedicts heads. His plans to live better however are undone by his alcoholism and greed.

Throughout this review I have made little mention of the film from a technical point of view. That’s because the film is for the most part technically flawless; as is the story. George Stevens adapted Edna Ferber’s novel brilliantly and the set direction is rich, elaborate and gorgeous to look at. I can see how this sprawling epic can be Texas’s unofficial official film. They’re obsessed with big things down there so it only makes sense the movie of their choice is called Giant.

Yet it’s the films size, or rather length that can be too much for some viewers. 3 hours and 20 minutes plus an intermission is a daunting proposition to generations of filmgoers used to 90 minute movies. I was put in the embarrassing position of having to watch half the movie twice because I didn’t realize the DVD I was watching was two sided and accidentally watched the second half first. Derp. If I had to choose one sweeping epic film to sit down and make a day of it, I’m sorry to say it wouldn’t be Giant.

Still Giant is a sight to see and one of Hollywood’s greatest epics ever made. The acting on the part of Rock Hudson, Elizabeth Taylor, Dennis Hooper and Mercedes McCambridge is absolutely outstanding. Yet the real draw here is Dean who for better or for worse is the quintessential Hollywood “they died too young” stories. While East of Eden is still on the ever expanding Must See List, Giant remains in my mind the best example of Dean’s method acting mastery.

Final Grade: D+

Essentials: The Incredibles

Year: 2004 (USA)
Genre: Animated Comedy/Action Comedy
Directed: Brad Bird
Stars: Craig T. Nelson, Holly Hunter, Jason Lee, Spencer Fox, Sarah Vowell, Samuel L. Jackson, Wallace Shawn, Lou Romano, Brad Bird, Bud Luckey, John Ratzenberger
Production: Pixar Animation


Shortest review ever: Incredible.

What, you need more? Fine. Pixar continues an unheard streak of high-quality storytelling and captivating creativity with 2004’s answer to the question, “is there happiness in the world?”  The Incredibles takes place in a world where super-strength, super-speed, super-cool superpowers exist and heroes are adored by the masses they protect. Yet because of impending lawsuits and municipal damages, the government has stepped in to insure our heroes’ secret identities are now their only identities. Bob Parr aka Mr. Incredible (Craig T. Nelson) is struggling with his new “normal” life married to fellow superhero Elastigirl aka Helen (Holly Hunter). His job sucks, the kids have superpowers of their own they’re itching to explore and he desperately misses the thrill of crime fighting. In comes a mysterious benefactor who just might be his ticket to a better life.

Was 15 when he started writing code for this movie

The Incredibles is Pixar’s first real attempt at a completely human world populated by four limbed humanoids as opposed to toys or fishes or bugs. Instead of opting for close-to-human features, which most people find creepy, the characters are exaggerated and cartoony. But don’t let that fool you into thinking the details of this marvelous film aren’t spectacular. The settings range from Tropical Island to bustling metropolis and exhibit a unique feel and personality. The animators must have taken years out of their lives to complete a film of this caliber.

Yet even if the film wasn’t as technically brilliant as it is, it’d still have a great story populated by great characters. Each main character is a new spin on the typical nuclear family with Bob being the loveable but unrealized provider who needs help with his priorities. Helen is the overworked mother, wife and voice of reason yet unlike the valium-taking housewives of the 1950’s she can kick all kinds of butt. In tow are three precocious, bickering children: Dash (Spencer Fox) who possesses super-speed, Violet (Sarah Vowell) who has the power of invisibility much like many young teenagers feel they do and Jack-Jack a toddler seemingly lacking superpowers. Also in the mix is the nefarious villain Syndrome (Jason Lee) who reeks of abandonment issues and riotous Edith Head parody Edna Mode (Director Brad Bird) who nearly steals the movie.

I’m honestly surprised that a story like this hasn’t been done before. There might be some serials back in the day that expounded on similar themes but I cannot recall any. Sure there are elements of superheroes turned unsanctioned vigilantes in Batman-lore and The Watchmen and The Fantastic Four does have familial ties. But mixing these two themes and adding in a cottage industry in superhero costumes; that’s not just new to film but to superherodom.

If on the off-chance you were trapped underneath something heavy for the last ten years and haven’t seen The Incredibles, I recommend that you go and see what you’ve been missing. It’s a brilliant original story, artfully crafted to perfection by the dream-makers of Pixar and voiced by smartly casted actors. Did I also mention it’s a non-stop thrill ride unlike any other? Well believe me when I tell you that it truly is.

Final Grade: A

F for Fake

Year: 1973 (France)
Genre: Documentary/Experimental Movie
Directed: Orson Welles
Stars: Orson Welles, Elmyr de Hory, Clifford Irving, Oja Kodar, Nina van Pallandt, Laurence Harvey, Peter Bogdanovich
Production: Janus Film


What is art? What appeals to our senses and informs our worldview? What doesn’t? What is considered forgery and how does that relate to artistry? Is there a link and if so, which is more legitimate? These questions and more are what Orson Welles attempts to illuminate in his irrevocable final finished film F for Fake (1973). It’s a movie without equal and goes right into the heart and soul of the self-described charlatan of the stage and screen.

This film is not a story, nor is it a documentary; it is an essay film, considered the first of its kind. F for Fake is a supposedly true film about falsity that examines the value of forgery to find deeper artistic meanings. It begins with Welles arriving at a train station doing magic tricks for kids, attention drawn on actress Oja Kodar. He makes a promise to the audience, “For the next hour, everything you hear from us is really true and based on solid fact.”

For my next trick, I'm going to make this pencil disappear

F for Fake is part autobiography of iconoclast Orson Welles who made a name for himself directing, producing and acting in “The Best Movie Ever Made,” Citizen Kane (1941) (perhaps you’ve heard of it). Yet the film also encapsulates the life’s work of Elmyr de Hory, arguably the most infamous art forger to ever live. Over his 71-year lifespan, de Hory had sold over a thousand forgeries to art galleries all around the world. His exploits are chronicled not only in F for Fake but the book Fake by Clifford Irving. As if things weren’t strewn enough, the film also expands on Irving who served a prison sentence for attempting to publish an unauthorized “official” biography on billionaire recluse Howard Hughes.

Hughes and Pablo Picasso are also in the mix but the film avoids clutter by throwing away a linear narrative in favor of stream of consciousness rumination. The editing jumps playfully from subject to subject while Welles makes the occasional on camera remark. He toys with the presumption of reality and scoffs at the pomposity of words like “art” and “experts”. His main subject de Hory shares Welles desire to pull the wall over people’s eyes and show that the emperor has no clothes but does so while asserting he had never had the passion to become a true artist. His exchanges with Welles and Irving remind me of the film Dirty Rotten Scoundrels (1988) when Michael Caine’s character admits, “As a younger man I was a sculptor, a painter, and a musician. There was just one problem: I wasn’t very good…I finally came to the frustrating conclusion that I had taste and style, but not talent.”

I'm having a hard time grasping this film

Yet all the people exposed in F for Fake do have enormous talent even if that talent is limited to creating fakes and forgeries. de Hory paints a Picasso within minutes then signs it with Welles’s signature. Welles produced the “War of the Worlds” radio broadcast which caused a public panic and Irving produced fake letters and recorded hours of fake “interviews” with Howard Hughes. Did they do these things for recognition? Perhaps cash; de Hory does explain he got more money from fakes than his own original works. Likewise Orson Welles explains that the first time he joined a travelling theater show professionally he pretended to be a huge Broadway star to make it in.

F for Fake is Welles’s “Finnegans Wake” and I dare not try to analyze it anymore. I leave you with a quote from the film that I think captures the point of the film succinctly: “Our works in stone, in paint, in print, are spared, some of them, for a few decades or a millennium or two, but everything must finally fall in war, or wear away into the ultimate and universal ash - the triumphs, the frauds, the treasures and the fakes. A fact of life: we're going to die. "Be of good heart," cry the dead artists out of the living past. "Our songs will all be silenced, but what of it? Go on singing." Maybe a man's name doesn't matter all that much.”

Final Grade: B+

Road House

Year: 1989 (USA)
Genre: Action/Martial Arts Film
Directed: Rowdy Herrington
Stars: Patrick Swayze, Kelly Lynch, Sam Elliott, Ben Gazzara, Marshall R. Teague, Julie Michaels, Red West, Jeff Healey
Production: Silver Pictures


Patrick Swayze made quite a nice little career for himself in the 80’s. Dirty Dancing (1987), Red Dawn (1984), The Outsiders (1983), basically anything popular at that time that was not made by John Hughes starred 1991’s sexiest man alive. He possessed brawn of Kurt Russell yet carried himself without cynicism lending himself to big ‘ol softy romantic leads.

Road House (1989) firmly places Swayze’s Dalton character in the brawny category in what essentially amounts to a watered down Sylvester Stallone vehicle. In the film Swayze plays an infamous bouncer who takes a job at a fledgling small town uber-bar. His first night in town he observes fistfights, bottle chucking, drug dealing and sexual assault all within the confines of the bar and decides to clean house. This catches the attention of the local evil-rich-white-dude (Ben Gazzara) who sees Dalton as an increasingly meddlesome problem.

If you’re into rough and tumble fight choreography and bloody violence I suppose there are worse things to watch than Road House. I can understand why it’s a red-blooded American classic along the lines of Bloodsport (1988) and Smokey and the Bandit (1977). As the lead, Swayze is serviceable and is helped along by a second act appearance by Sam Elliott as fellow infamous bouncer Wade Garrett.

Did tough bodybuilder-types have an informational magazine in the 80’s where they can peruse through tales of bouncer/security guard lore? As soon as Dalton shows up to the Double Deuce everyone is anxious to get to know the man who ripped a man’s throat out. The only person better known than Dalton is Sam Elliott’s character who at the point of his introduction is working at a strip club. Being a bouncer is hardly a way to get recognition yet in this movie it’s a way of life with an established fan base.

Bouncers: media portrayal versus reality

The principle conflict in the movie escalates to absolutely ludicrous extremes. Its one thing to siphon all available resources like booze away from a competitor/enemy but it’s another thing to get your goons to monster truck smash a car dealership in broad day light. Did anyone think to call the police at any point in this film? There is talk that they’re on the take but then wouldn’t they be useful to evil-rich-white-dude when Dalton starts to go on a killing spree? Wouldn’t the cops be a little wary of running protection for a guy who starts blowing up dissenters’ homes and businesses willy-nilly?

You don't seriously expect me to clean up your mess do you?

Those are just some thoughts which prevent me from enjoying Road House or really any film of its caliber. The whole exercise appeals too much to our baser instincts and exhibits an unrealistic assault on the senses. Other than that though, I see no reason why Road House couldn’t nor should appeal to others with different standards. The story works, the characters are decently developed and the physical hand-to-hand combat scenes are impressive to say the least.

Had the time of his life.

Swayze would go on to make a few more “classics” before his untimely death of pancreatic cancer in 2009. Whether you know him as the romantic Sam Wheat in Ghost (1990), the dashing Johnny in Dirty Dancing or even the daring Bodhi in Point Break (1991) there’s little doubt that few will remember him as the rough-and-tumble Dalton of Road House.

Final Grade: F