Partially as a result, I have subtly changed my definition of what a movie is. Setting out, I told myself if it's less than an hour I probably wouldn't count it. Thing is there are actually quite a few movies, especially older silent films that initially wouldn't make the cut. Luis Bunuel's Un Chien Andalou (1929) ranks at the top of that arbitrary line. Yet most historians would conclude it is certainly a full film despite a scant 16 minute runtime. So from now on I am including a virtual cavalcade of previously uncounted movies. The basic premise is if people came to the theater (or a Nickelodeon) to watch it; it's a movie. With that rule in place I can finally count 1898's Train Arriving at Bombay Station and the bunch of Georges Melies movies I have seen. Thank goodness for movies made prior to 1912, now D.W. Griffith can be a chaser to a Andrei Tarkovsky joint. Speaking of which, here come my superlatives:
Most Likely to Stretch the Definition of the Word Film
Roundhay Garden Scene (1888) and Traffic Crossing the Leeds Bridge (1888)
Most Likely to Succeed
The Human Condition Trilogy (1959-1961) and We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)
Probably more than any other years past, I have seen a slew of outstanding movies. I have seen everything from summer blockbusters to small independent movies; from gorgeous period pieces to obscure experimental films. The creme of the crop however would have to be Masaki Kobayashi's The Human Condition Trilogy and Lynne Ramsay's We Need to Talk About Kevin.
The Human Condition Trilogy is a combined nine hour WWII epic told from the perspective of Kaji (Tatsuya Nakadai) a Japanese pacifist and leftist. In order to avoid the war, Kaji takes a job as a mine supervisor in Manchuria. Finding his principles a hindrance to his work, Kaji makes enemies with the company's heads and is eventually conscripted into the army as a private. Once again his principles stand in the way of promotion and as allied forces close in, Kaji does his best to survive so he may come home and unite with his wife Michiko (Michiyo Aratama). A trilogy of this length and caliber is not for everyone, yet if you're patient enough you may find yourself rewarded by even the smaller gentler moments. Within a nine hour runtime Kobayashi has managed the near-impossible by encapsulating the whole of the human experience. Poetic, humanistic and ultimately tragic, Human Condition is placed high upon the list of movies that (almost) made me cry.
We Need to Talk About Kevin is an animal of a different, much darker nature. In it, a mother (Tilda Swinton) tries to piece her life back together after a tragic incident turned her world upside down. The incident (told in flashback) revolves around her strained relationship with her son Kevin (Ezra Miller) who from an early age exhibited a psychopathic personality. Part of the brilliance of We Need to Talk About Kevin and Lynne Ramsay's work in general is her expressionistic cinematography. She shows just enough of the action to make the audience aware, even hyper-aware of the situation. Yet the key to each scene is the emotional weight between the characters, not information. What results is a unique movie that holds your attention with intensity and doesn't let go.
Least Deserving of the MS3TK Treatment
The Haunted Strangler (1958) and The Projected Man (1966)
Not going to lie, I love Mystery Science Theater 3000 (1988-1999). Whether it is wise to resurrect the cult classic TV series after nearly a decade off the air remains to be seen but in the meantime those looking for a quick, goofy fix can do so on youtube.com. MS3TK is probably the only reason I can stomach awful movies, such as Extra-Terrestrial Visitors (1983), Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders (1996) and The Gamera Series (1965-2006). Yet two movies got the MS3TK treatment which I felt didn't deserve it: The Haunted Strangler and The Projected Man.
The Haunted Strangler is part of Boris Karloff's later career and involves Karloff trying to vindicate an innocent man from execution. While investigating and circling ever closer to the truth of a serial killer's grisly MO, Karloff must come face-to-face with the darker forces in his own psyche. If one were to compare The Haunted Strangler to Frankenstein (1931) or any adaptation of Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde...yes the movie is far from a masterpiece, yet there's something endearing about Karloff's performance that makes the mockery of wise-cracking robots seem out of place. It was also entertaining without the commentary.
The Projected Man stars Bryant Haliday as a scientist experimenting with teleportation. After a freak accident, Haliday's Dr. Steiner becomes a disfigured monster with the power to vaporize those who cross him. Many at the time dismissed The Projected Man as a transparent rip-off of The Fly (1958) which it kind of is, yet the story itself is tight and the characters while rudimentary are not jut caricatures. Also for such a cheaply made movie, the special-effects are quite creative.
Class Beauty
Samsara (2011) and Mad Max: Fury Road (2015)
For all intents and purposes, the superlative of class beauty is extended to movies who exhibit surface level prettiness. In this case however, both movies I have chosen exhibit a little more than just gorgeous cinematography and nice looking costume design. These films are definitely beautiful in more ways than one.
Samsara is a documentary of sorts yet it lacks any narrative, instead focusing on the physical, spiritual and cosmic beauty of over twenty-five countries. Shot in 70mm film, the movie showcases ceremonies, dances, landscapes, time-lapse naturalism and street pulsing modernism all into one large meditative gaze of our world. What does the movie mean? Well viewers will have to decipher the images for themselves but it's hard to argue the awesome nature of this extensive experimental feature.
Mad Max: Fury Road on the other hand isn't without plot, though it features a deceptively simple one. Mad Max Rockatansky, the hero of the popular post-apocalyptic survival stories first brought to the screen by George Miller, is having a bad day. His car has been destroyed and he's been captured by a cult of feral group known as Warboys. Meanwhile a hardened lieutenant, Furiosa, steals the harem of the cult's leader resulting in one big sustained car chase where Max becomes an unwitting participant. Exploding with bombastic action and stunning stunts and car designs, Mad Max's return to the screen is also a work of incredible beauty, saturating the harsh wasteland of the apocalypse with hues of orange and red. What results is a visual ballet that showcases the beauty of digital photography while simultaneously giving proper respects to old-school practical effects.
Class Clowns
Clueless (1995) and What We Do in the Shadows (2014)
Considered a bastion of mid-90's teen comedy, I did not come in expecting a lot from Clueless. My mind was not put at ease in the first five minutes when Alicia Silverstone's valley girl Cher made her way through a cringe-worthy class presentation about Haiti. Then something happened; the sincerity of her character coupled with a sly intelligence and her desire to do good, made the entire exercise quite enjoyable. Funny without the jarring mean-spiritedness of future like-minded movies, Clueless is certainly worth the time warp.
Nestled in the onscreen firmament of New Zealand's small but sophisticated film industry is the work of Taika Waititi and Jermaine Clement. While you may not know them by name, no doubt you've heard about their collaborations with Flight of the Conchords and the indie hit Eagle Vs. Shark (2007). In What We Do in the Shadows, a group of vampires live together in a flat coping with the trials and tribulations of cohabitation, immortality and the occasional vampire hunter. Shot in a clever mockumentary style, the entire movie is a masters course in droll, raucous humor and economical filmmaking.
Most Bizarre
Under the Skin (2013) and 3 Women (1977)
Somewhere in the middle of being The Avengers' beard and appearing (albeit in voice only) in Her (2013) Scarlet Johansson appeared in this frustratingly open-ended indie, directed by the equally frustrating Jonathan Glazer. I mean frustrating in the most positive light of course since most people who give Under the Skin a chance will leave frustrated. Yet those willing to immerse themselves in Under the Skin can witness the austere beauty of the Scotland highlands and the haunting mis en scene created by Glazer, cinematographer Daniel Landin and sound designer Mica Levi.
Of course if you want to be properly schooled in frustratingly askew mis en scene you need to go to one of the greatest American masters; Robert Altman. Altman not only has a long history of deconstructing narrative, in 3 Women he fully deconstructs his characters in a movie reminiscent of Bergman's Persona (1966) only with an unabashed American sensibility. Like Under the Skin, 3 Women is hauntingly beautiful all while being obliquely bizarre.
Best Dressed
Children of Paradise (1945) and The Five Deadly Venoms (1978)
Under this category, the two most deserving are probably the most different from one another. One is a 1940's period piece said to be the French's answer to Gone with the Wind (1939); the other is an exciting little kung-fu film that gained a cult status thanks to late night cable reruns.
Filming for Children of Paradise commenced in Vichy France in 1944 and was released just after the liberation of Paris. The details of the making of the film are enough to make a whole new movie yet even without the historical context the movie is a marvel. The story is simple: multiple men are anxious to accept the hand of a woman whose beauty make them swoon. The acting is stellar and the story while being over three hours long is nonetheless tight and glides at a reliable pace. I would personally recommend Children of Paradise as a companion piece to either Gone with the Wind or Casablanca (1942).
Five Deadly Venoms is a Shaw Brothers Studio enterprise showcasing five different kung-fu masters and one lowly pupil in a tale of deception and cunning. The pupil must find the five masters and find out who has been using their skills to nefarious ends. Told with economy and flare, each master has a distinct persona exhibited in their occasionally garish costumes. Easily one of the best kung-fu films of its time, Five Deadly Venoms also has a story that twists and turns unexpectedly.
Most Creative
Kung Fury (2015) and Neighbours (1952)
Ever wondered what the fevered dream of an eighties kid looks like after watching one too many Commando (1985) reruns? Ladies and gentlemen, allow me to introduce the 30 minute short Kung Fury starring David Sanberg, a talking triceratops, a viking iant and kung-fu Hitler (Jorma Taccone). While its stature of a full length movie is questionable, one cannot doubt the sheer creativity and moxy present in every warped VHS frame of this deconstructing 80's parody. I was told Kung Fury will be getting a full length adaptation and I say it's about Jean-Claude Van Damme time we got something like Kung Fury.
Another entrant to the superlative of most creative is likewise a short film. Sodespite its title we can assume it's not the Seth Rogen vehicle released last year. Neighbours was created by animator Norman McLaren who used stop-motion with live subjects. The story is simple; two men, neighbors, argue over the property line of their houses to the ends of having a single flower on their side of the fence. Charming and more than a little allegorical, Neighbours was said to be Pablo Picasso's favorite film of all time; and it's easy to see why.
Movie Most Likely to Make me Go "Uhh"
The History of Future Folk (2012) and Zombeavers (2014)
Of course this year was not without it's stinkers. As I said above I saw a lot of MS3TK
joints but I half expected those to be terrible. The History of Future Folk and Zombeavers, I actually had hopes for as fleeting as they might have been. History of Future Folk was actually given a Fresh rating on rottentomatoes.com so it was a shock to the system when the movie was as uninspired as it was. In the movie two guys play aliens who have come to Earth to make way for the coming invasion...then fall in love with bluegrass music. The movie is meant to be an origin story of sorts for the titular New York band but winds up being as goofy and unnecessary as Spice World (1997) only with the added injury of being as cheap as Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959).
Not to be outdone, Zombeavers is an even more unattractive specimen of the select theater indie variety. The fact that I came into the movie with expectations at all was a mistake on my part but for a movie trying so hard to be a horror comedy, it fails to be both funny or scary. Based on the title alone you know the setup; teens come to a cabin in the woods and are attacked by mutant zombie beavers. No further explanation or subtext in need of explaining.
Cutest Couple
Brooklyn (2015) and L'Atalante (1934)
I never go out seeking for love stories. They always seem to find me, and this year, I've seen enough to last me two lifetimes. There were a few strong contenders including this year's Trainwreck (2014), James Ivory's most popular film A Room with a View (1985), heck I almost nominated Gone Girl (2014) since I find it the least counterfeit. My first winner however is Brooklyn which was a bit of a slow cooking romance. Yet I give it props for concentrating on the multitude of hardships experienced by young Eilis (Saorise Ronan), an Irish immigrant on her move to New York City. It is only by the second act that we are introduced to her beau Tony (Emory Cohen) and by then we are so enamored by miss Ronan's performance that we can't help but love the chemistry between them.
My second choice is a bit of a no-brainer. While L'Atalante is not known outside the echo chambers of fanatic cinemaphiles and the most pretentious of cultural critics, the fact remains Jean Vigo's only feature length film is a serene masterpiece. In it, a newly-wedded couple struggle with the foibles of life and love while living and working on a river barge. They live alongside a surly first mate and a cabin boy all of which try to make the best of their bustling existence. Considered among the first film narratives to employ magical realism, L'Atalante is a feast for the eyes as well as the soul.
Best Use of Science in a Movie
The Martian (2015) and The Revisionaries (2012)
This decade is turning out to be a big decade for science in the movies. Whether its last year's The Theory of Everything (2014) and Interstellar (2014) or the year before's Gravity (2013), one can't help but feel there's an enlightened sense of wonder in some Hollywood spaces. Nowhere is that more evident than in the stunning Ridley Scott opus, The Martian. The movie thus far stands apart, first as an exhaustive combination of real science, straightforward fantasy and a hopeful parable on humanity.
The Revisionaries is not as hopeful about science as a noble human endeavor. The film is a documentary about the Texas School Board's willingness to accept pseudo-science, political half-truths and outright fabrications in its science textbooks and by extension the textbooks of schools all across America. Also in the cross-hairs of the modern American education system are history textbooks which are likewise revised with politics in-mind, yet the theory of evolution remains the largest focus and therefore is the largest scientific theory under threat. I for one was angered, overwhelmed and ultimately disenchanted by the tenacity of arrogance and ignorance on full display.
Biggest Surprise
Ant-Man (2015) and Zatoichi and the Chest of Gold (1964)
I, like many of you was worried when Edgar Wright left Marvel's Ant-Man over creative differences. With Wright's departure, I feared the Marvel monolith would lose the one thing Ant-Man had going for it and as a result, stumble on its quixotic property. Then the movie came out and I was immediately put at ease. Ant-Man was not just a pleasant little continuation of the Marvel Extended Universe, it was a funny and charming stand-alone story that banked heavily on its likable star Paul Rudd. Also for the ride was Michael Douglas who gave the story a bit of gravitas and dead-pan bravado.
Zatoichi and the Chest of Gold marks the sixth in a film series that spans three decades and twenty-six installments. By Chest of Gold's prequel Zatoichi on the Road (1963), the series seemed to have lost its luster and thus I was not looking forward to Chest of Gold. Yet with Kanzuo Ikehiro's confident direction, the glorified serial was elevated to true artistry and the continued adventures of the titular blind ronin left an indelible impression.
Best Drama King/Queen
Tunes of Glory (1960) and All About My Mother (1999)
Tunes of Glory boils down to a battle of wills; that of Major Jock Sinclair (Alec Guinness) and Colonel Basil Barrow (John Mills). In the film the two butt heads over the fate of the Scotland Highland Regiment which looks to retain its glory after WWII. The Colonel is a by the book elitist while the Major is a rough and tumble cad; both are good at what they do and both carry baggage. What will happen? Well both what you'd expect yet with tangents that are organic yet unexpected.
All About My Mother stars Cecilia Roth as a bereaved mother who looks to get over her son's death by telling his long forgotten father. While doing so Manuela (Roth) delves into the passions of her past including a reintroduction into live theater, the companionship of her friend Agrado (Antonia San Juan) and the friendship of a pregnant nun (Penelope Cruz). As with all director Pedro Almodovar's work, All About My Mother unwinds like a ball of yarn telling modern parables through unexpected mediums.
Biggest Weeper
Talk to Her (2002) and Before I Disappear (2014)
Speaking of Pedro Almodovar, Talk to Her is just as much a dramatic yarn of unexpected depth, yet the movie's message is much more muddled and complex forcing it's audience to identify with good people doing terrible things. In the film two men begin an unexpected friendship when both are forced to take care of the comatose women they have fallen for. One of the women is a bullfighter while the other is a ballet dancer, both have left a mark on the hearts of the men awaiting a miracle.
Talk to Her has been met with continued critical praise yet Before I Disappear has been marred by critics who level accusations of saccharine goofiness. In spite of this, the film directed, written and starring Shawn Christensen is to me, a charming reemergence of magical realism that I have not seen since Midnight in Paris (2011). The movie starts with Christensen sitting in a tub awaiting the results of a suicide attempt. His sister calls on the phone begging him to pick up his niece from school thus beginning a night-long adventure involving an underachieving layabout and a studious little girl who sees more than she lets on. Sure the film suffers from a wanting script but everything including Christensen himself succeeds in pulling the heart strings.
Most Just Plain Wrong
Blue Velvet (1986) and Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie (2012)
A brief confession; I am not a fan of David Lynch. Eraserhead (1977) notwithstanding, most of his work is a collection of weirdness, trying desperately to make sense of a neo-Freudian worldview. Unlike Guy Maddin who represents this rigid classicism in a way that purposely feels dated, Lynch showcases his neurosis in a "look-at-me," "aren't I clever" kind of grandiosity that I for one find irksome. Yet even I have to begrudgingly give him credit for succeeding in his quest to unnerve his audience. Blue Velvet is his early-career masterpiece and certainly worth a look if you're looking to explore what creepy-crawly depths film can submerge in.
Do not watch Tim and Eric's Billion Dollar Movie! Blue Velvet stands on its laurels, Tim and Eric does not. Avoid it, do not look at it, do not even entertain the idea of renting it or watching it on Netflix. If you're a fan of the TV series (2007-Present) I am sorry for your lack of taste but I will entertain the thought that you still have two brain cells to rub together and therefore must also avoid this gawd-awful film.
Best Documentary
An Honest Liar (2014) and Into the Abyss (2011)
To delve into the life and times of James Randi is to summarize the career of one of the most prolific magicians since Harry Houdini. The diminutive James Randi has not only had long career performing whimsical magic and daring escapes, Randi's career took a turn when he turned into one of the most hard-nosed skeptics of the modern age. He took down con artists, psychics and faith-healers all the while ignoring some of the lies and liars in his own life. Unexpectedly layered and full of surprises, An Honest Liar is arguably one of the most interesting biographical documentaries of the age.
Into the Abyss follows in the footsteps of the Paradise Lost Trilogy (1996-2011) and The Thin Blue Line (1988) as a documentary about the incarceration and death sentence of men accused of murder. Yet Into the Abyss's thesis does not rely on the assumption of innocence. Director Werner Herzog has all but concluded Michael Perry and Jason Burkett murdered three in a senseless series of events. Yet through the lens we still peer into the very souls of these men and the cruelty of the capital punishment system that has been an American institution since our founding. Without pounding on the bully pulpit, Into the Abyss is a powerful documentary about a social issue worthy of further conversation.
Most Overrated
The Palm Beach Story (1942) and Around the World in Eighty Days (1956)
In an illustrious career that spans a slew of important American comedies, Preston Sturges remains a bit of an enigma to yours truly. While I haven't seen enough of his work to make a determinate judgment, I can say that the goofiness of The Palm Beach Story has not aged well. In it, a young wife (Claudette Colbert) flies off to Palm Beach to wed then divorce a rich man to support her husband. Disgusted by the idea, the husband (Joel McCrea) follows her to stop her scheme. Perhaps one needs to immerse themselves in the bevy of screwball comedies that dominated the 30's and 40's to truly admire the satire but thus far, Sullivan's Travels (1941) remains in this writer's mind as the only Sturges movie to be worth a watch.
Of course, The Palm Beach Story was never determined to be Oscar material. Yet the three hour long snooze-fest Around the World in Eighty Days seems to have snicked into the ranks of Lawrence of Arabia (1962) and Casablanca (1942). Why would the Academy award this mess over Giant (1956) or The Searchers (1956), I have no idea. All I know is this overlong movie about a scientist betting he can circumnavigate the globe in eighty days feels about eighty days too long.
Most in Need of a Remake
North Dallas Forty (1979) and A Colt is My Passport (1967)
I had the pleasure of seeing North Dallas Forty merely as a result of whimsy. I culled through the Netflix roster and randomly chose it. The film is loosely based on a novel written by Peter Gent, himself a professional football player for the Dallas Cowboys. The movie tells the tale of Phillip Elliot (Nick Nolte) an aging player who witnesses the rampant injury, drug use and exploitation of the NFL. Certainly ahead of its time North Dallas Forty could certainly use a remake, this time Nolte can be replaced by Channing Tatum with Anthony Mackie, Michael B. Jordan, Josh Lucas and Scott Michael Campbell playing his teammates going though trials all their own. Who will play their unscrupulous coach? Why not Michael Keaton?
A Colt is My Passport is a Yakuza film that could benefit from an American remake. The story revolves around a melancholy hit man who is sold out by his boss after he assassinates a rival boss who got greedy. In all honesty the only man who can play the part with any gravitas would be Liam Neeson with Steven Van Zandt playing the mob boss who sells him out.
