Monsters University

Year: 2013
Genre: Animated Comedy
Directed: Dan Scanlon
Stars: Billy Crystal, John Goodman, Steve Buscemi, Helen Mirren, Peter Sohn, Joel Murray, Sean Hayes, Dave Foley, Charlie Day, Alfred Molina, Tyler Labine, Bobby Moynihan, Aubrey Plaza
Production: Pixar Studios

Walt Disney never went to college; neither did John D. Rockefeller. Bill Gates did, he dropped out of Harvard before he graduated. Those who have seen The Social Network (2010) probably recall Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg also dropped out of Harvard. I suppose college isn’t for everyone including *spoiler alert* Mike Wazowski (Billy Crystal) and James “Sully” Sullivan (John Goodman). Academics can be stifling after all.

In the prequel to the celebrated Monster, Inc. (2001) movie, the beloved Mike and Sully are students of the prestigious and aptly named Monster University. Both lack the je ne sais quoi to be graduating material at the College of Scaring according to Dean Hardscrabble (Helen Mirren). That is until Mike comes up with a plan to win the Greek Council Scare Games. If he and his newly assembled fraternity can do so, they’re all accepted into the College of Scaring and don’t have to spend their college days constructing scream canisters. But can the initially antagonistic duo pull it off?

What do you think this is a Dreamworks film?

Think a family-oriented cartoon version of Revenge of the Nerds (1984) and you got yourself the basic premise of Monster University. Seriously Pixar, if you were going to rip off comedy staples at least lift from something better like Animal House (1978). All said and done, while there are some flickers of originality in the visuals, the story is a retread of College Humor jokes redressed and sanitized for the kiddies.

Of course unoriginality isn't exactly a cardinal sin in the film industry. When was the last time you saw something truly unique at the movie theater? But there’s something insidious about the message behind Monsters University (2013) that doesn't compute. The two of course become good friends; understand the value of teamwork, blah, blah, blah. But instead of being allowed into the College of Scaring, they are expelled for reasons I won’t expand on here; after all, I can’t spoil everything. They end up starting in the mailroom of Monsters, Inc. eventually making it to the scare floor.

While that would be a nice message about how hard work can pay off, the message kids will undoubtedly receive from the last five minutes of the movie is success isn't dependent on college enrollment. Maybe fifty years ago the moral of this story would have been forgivable but in this day and age it’s foolhardy to tell kids they too can start in the mailroom and be fine. You don’t need a college education or failing that trade school/certification; it’s all about hopes and dreams and elbow grease; yeah, not in today’s economy. Not unless you're a reality celebutard which isn't exactly  high calling.

I don’t want to demean those who don’t have a diploma from Student Debt University. Going to college does not make you smarter and certainly doesn't make you happier. Plus as I said before, there are a lot of successful people who chose a different career path that didn't involve a student meal plan and drum circle in the quad. But those people are the exception. The fact remains those who attain a bachelor’s degree or higher have a better quality of life overall. College graduates earn almost twice as much as high school grads over the course of their careers, they’re more marketable, can adapt to new jobs quicker and as highlighted in Monsters University, they make lasting social connections.

Plus all the beer man! All the beer!!

One thing I tell kids all the time is college indeed isn't for everyone. You just have to ask yourself two questions when you get to that age. Does what I want to do require a college degree? And, if I’m undecided, can I afford college? If the answer to either of these questions is no, then don’t go after high school and ask yourself again next year. It was my way of telling the youth if they’re not economically or socially mature enough to handle college don’t waste your time and enjoy flipping burgers until they are.

Final Grade: C+