Thoughts from the Usher Podium: Top 10 Anti-Horror Films

Those who know me, know I'm not a fan of horror films. I watch the ones that are considered required viewing; Halloween (1978), A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984), Saw (2004) etc. while simultaneously getting my adolescent kicks out of decidedly terrible old-school schlock; The Killer Shrews (1959), Motel Hell (1980), Demons (1985) et al. I all but ignore modern horror films since they're either not scary or too disgusting to really enjoy.

Looking at you Human Centipede (2009)

Furthermore I take exception to the myriad of horror movie tropes that belie a profoundly almost insultingly traditionalist view of characterization, plot and gender roles. You know the rub; group of horny teenagers die at the hands of a masked villain or a pre-teen goes into that scary house everyone says to stay out of. The lessons in these kinds of movies are clear; do not deviate from the norm. This slave-like adherence to familiar, well-worn formula is indicative to most media to be sure, yet in horror films there's a lack of self-awareness to it. In a post-modernistic world, new traditionalist horror films feel dated upon arrival. What results is the audience can't relate to cookie-cutter characters going through hell and back. It's become an experience reaching the compulsory dryness of a Catholic mass. Even despite the advent of horror comedy, injecting the proceedings with humor and mirth, a wink and a nod does not actually improve or alter the formula. As entertaining as some of these films are, they're hardly the stuff nightmares are made of.

Looking at you Cabin in the Woods (2012)

Which brings me to the reason I formulated this list. Firstly Halloween is coming up and I'm a slut for attention grabbing headlines. Secondly and more importantly, the list of movies below don't just subvert the themes and tropes of modern horror but abandons them altogether in favor of themes that I would argue are truly disturbing. They may not goad their audience with jump scares or force people to scream "don't go in there," but they are nonetheless solid films worthy of appreciation. These films won't just scare you, they'll disturb you for days after the fact.

1. The Shining (1980)
(I'll get the ones we all know and love out of the way first), The Shining stars Jack Nicholson as Jack Torrence a writer hired as an off-season caretaker of the remote Overlook Hotel. With his wife (Shelley Duvall) and son (Danny Lloyd) in-tow, Jack hopes to find solitude to write his new novel however after settling in, Jack starts to act strange then violent towards his family, prodded along by a ghostly supernatural force in the hotel. Meanwhile his son seems to have psychic premonitions about the hotel; a gift described by the hotel chef (Scatman Crothers) as "a shining".

Going to the moon is unambiguous though guys

On the surface, The Shining sounds like a standard haunted house film. Yet with director Stanley Kubrick, nothing is ever that standard. The visuals (as well as much of the plot changes from the Stephen King novel) are inverted in an act of cinematic terrorism. Moments that shouldn't be frightening such as long-take shots of the empty interior of the hotel are downright terrifying. Additionally, the vagueness of the supernatural force keeps the viewer continually ill at ease. There are no jump scares here and the disturbing conclusion while ambiguous, never hammers home a message of conformity. In-fact, over thirty years later, fans are still coming up with theories to explain the film's ending (and everything throughout). These theories range from Jack's descent into hell to elevating Jack as the embodiment of the Devil himself. One thing is for sure, the creepiness surrounding of The Shining accurately portrays what Kubrick called "archetypes of the unconscious"; or the dark side of human nature.

2. We Need to Talk About Kevin (2011)
Told with expressionistic flair and a refreshing non-linear narrative, We Need to Talk About Kevin stars Tilda Swinton as a woman struggling to piece her life back together after an incident involving her teenage son. Once a popular travel writer, Eva now lives a solitary life where everyone who knows her is openly hostile to her. As the movie pieces the story together for the audience, we witness the horror unfold in a chilling build-up that unnerves you to your core.

In addition to having masterful performances by Swinton, John C. Reilly and Ezra Miller as the aforementioned son, We Need to Talk About Kevin subverts everything we think we know about psychology, child-rearing and the minds of wicked souls. Based on the title alone, we as the audience think we know what's going to happen but the movie patiently, almost cruelly absconds the violence and gore, disturbing us instead with the relationships between characters. It all builds up to a nihilistic crescendo that is troubling in its senselessness. Topical and full of some truly shocking moments, We Need to Talk About Kevin is a masters course onto itself on how to make a worthwhile horror film by abandoning the cliche.

3. Teeth (2007)
Teeth is a fun little low-budget horror film whose high-concept leads many to mislabel it a comedy. Yeah no, it truly is not; in-fact if taken as a concept alone, this film is in this writer's opinion, the scariest on this list. Jess Weixler stars as Dawn a religiously faithful teenager who comes to the realization that living near a nuclear power plant allows her a certain, let's say adaptation. This adaptation leads her though a warped path of self-discovery that leaves casualties in her wake. Also in the mix is her sickly mother (Vivienne Benesch) and stepdad (Lenny von Dohlen), her love interest Tobey (Hale Appleman) and her crude stepbrother Brad (John Hensley).

She's a monster!

Within the screen time of the film, our leading lady becomes a personification of the "monster" character which has been featured in cinema since at least The Golem (1920). Yet the film's sly feminist tinge allows the audience to view the movie with an amount of satire and pathos. By the time the credit role, Dawn transforms from shy, chaste, teenager to a one-woman exterminating angel which, depending on your disposition (and likely gender) may put a smile on your face or give you nightmares. I personally appreciate the film's cleverness and subtle subversion of the limited female roles in horror films, even if its directorial style borders on amateurish.

4. A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014)
A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night takes place in a desolate and dying industrial town in Iran. The inhabitants are unknowingly in the midst of a lonely female vampire (Sheila Vand) who is smitten for the hardworking Arash (Arash Marandi). Arash is hassled by the local town hood and takes care of his heroin addicted father (Marshall Manesh) when he's not at work or dreaming of a better life at the club. He too becomes interested in the girl who seems to stalk him from a distance and soon a romance blossoms.

No this isn't an Iranian adaptation of Twilight (2008). In fact to traditional Iranians this film may be the scariest and most subversive ever committed to the screen (The film is in reality American made and was not released in Iran). All characters in the film seem stuck in a miserable set of circumstances, slowly withering away in an unforgiving little city. In comes a woman shrouded in traditional clothing yet exhibiting everything a traditional Iranian patriarchy would fear; independence, criminal predilections, a predatory nature etc. The end echos the teen rebel pictures of 1950's Hollywood as if to signal to the old guard "we're coming for you". Its unsettling to watch, even for a non-Iranian and I bet if you give this film a try you will be unsettled too.

5. Let the Right One In (2008)
Yet another vampire themed foreign film? It's almost as if the rest of the world does a better job at making high-quality horror films than the United States does. Let the Right One In concerns a largely pre-teen cast including Kare Hedebrant as Oskar, a lonely, consistently bullied boy living in a quaint Stockholm suburb and Eli, the peculiar new neighbor played by Lina Leandersson. Eli and her terse elderly human guardian Hakan (Per Ragnar) attempt to stalk their victims in secrecy but eventually Eli must trust Oskar to keep her from forces that would do her harm.

Let the Right One In doesn't just dip into vile themes such as the nature of violence but revels in many of the taboos, especially sexual taboos that society struggles with. Much can be said about Eli's gender and sexual orientation which the movie hints at but never expressly states. Furthermore her relationship with Hakan seems less fatherly and more uncomfortable than one can imagine. The air of sexual subtext, penetrating violence and austere beauty creates a horror film that can terrorize you to your core. The climactic confrontation between Oskar and his bullying classmates is especially jaw-dropping, proving yet again that true horror comes not from what is seen but what remains unseen.

6. Splice (2009)

Speaking of well done horror with blatant sexual subtext (or I guess I should say overtones), Splice stars Adrien Brody and Sarah Polley as two research scientists who are trying to come up with a cure for diabetes among other human diseases. Finding much success with gene manipulation, the two, against the advice of their employer, create a humanoid creature who's DNA can yield useful proteins. They soon discover that their new creature has much more in-common with humans than one would expect.

Even before the chaos created by the new creature, Brody and Polley's pseudo-science tug-of-war has the overtones of a sadistic sexual relationship complete with a mutual God complex. The monster they create is birthed with amphibious and rodent-like qualities but increasingly becomes more human both in intelligence and aspiration. This frightens both the scientists and the audience as every part of the monster's self-discovery is warped to resemble those of a child. The well-worn Frankenstein "there are some things best left to God" motif is replaced with an uncomfortable exploration in what it means to be human. Splice offers an answer to that question that's bleak and unsettling. If the true measure of a movie is what the audience takes from it, Splice is one of those flicks that instantly repels yet you can't forget. Special recognition should be given to Delphine Chaneac who brings the monster to life in a creepy and intense fashion.

7. The Babadook (2014)
Essie Davis plays Amelia a single mother who is struggling to raise her maladjusted son Samuel (Noah Wiseman). After the tragic death of her husband, Samuel has been tormented with nightmares, apocalyptic visions, and monsters only he sees. Enter the manifestation of a new bedtime book and Amelia starts to see Samuel's true tormentor, a gangling ghoul known as the Babadook.

Now some have dismissed this film as a simple ghost story but this can't be further from the truth. Granted, this recent gem from Australia is probably the only film on this list that consistently employs the use of jump-scares. The themes inherent to this nasty little movie are very corrupting indeed. There's a mother who subconsciously blames the death of her husband on her son and has come to resent his constant need for attention. Add to that, a lack of sleep and becoming a pariah to family and friends, its understandable to see Amelia manifest her deep-seeded desires into a pitiless monster lurking in the shadows. The Babadook is in reality about mental illness and its debilitating effect on its victims. I for one would like to see more films about the fragility of reality, instead of the conformity of a ghost story plagued with ghouls looking to solve unfinished problems.

8. Contagion (2011)
Can Contagion be considered a horror film? I suppose if Jaws (1975) makes the cut for making audiences afraid to go into the water, Contagion makes the cut for making audiences afraid to not wash their hands. In Contagion, government officials, healthcare professionals, researchers and ordinary people all come to deal with an ultra-communicable virus dubbed MEV-1 which threatens the world as we know it. Among the all-star cast is Matt Damon, husband of patient zero, Kate Winslet and Laurence Fishburne as CDC experts, Marion Cotillard as a World Health Organization epidemiologist and Jude Law as a conspiracy theorist.

What drives this daring multi-layered movie and consequently makes it so scary, is its complexity. How can one truly face an enemy they cannot see and how do you respond to it? The disconnected, hyper-link style of the story and its characters gives the audience enough unique perspectives to appreciate the narrative as each character must overcome different challenges. Some succeed, others fail and some with the best intentions can wind up aiding in the spreading of the deadly plague. Scarier still is the fact that most of Contagion is scientifically accurate. Sure the lightening-quick spread of the disease itself has not been seen in reality, yet the possibility of a super-virus has been looming heavily on he minds of scientists for decades. If the fear of that danger has been in the back of your mind as well, Contagion offers little, little relief.

9. Eraserhead (1977)
Non-linear, highly experimental and stiflingly off-putting, Eraserhead is hands-down the most surrealistic of the films on this list. In it an unnamed protagonist (Jack Nance) lives in a desolate urban landscape and courts a women (Charlotte Stewart) while holding a candle for the girl next door (Judith Anna Roberts) and imagining yet another woman who appears in his apartment (Laurel Near). Our protagonist discovers his girlfriend has given birth to an inhuman creature and after what appears to be a few months, she leaves, leaving him to raise the monster who cries incessantly while being swaddled in medical gauze.

To watch Eraserhead is to abandon logic and be overwhelmed by the film's visual themes and intricate sound design. penetrating through an unsettling amount of white noise is the protagonist's fear of sex and childbirth which manifests itself in his monster child. It is said that director David Lynch was inspired to write and direct what is essentially a student film based on Franz Kafka oeuvre. I caution those reading, Eraserhead is not for everyone. It is unnerving in all the wrong ways as it is grotesque, warped and ambiguous. This film is truly the stuff of nightmares.

10. Videodrome (1983)
Decades before the iphone and 100+ channel cable TV, director David Cronenberg predicted that technology, specifically television would supplant life as we know it. In a hallucinatory magnum opus on par with Eraserhead (1977) in sheer weirdness, Videodrome is the story of a Lothario cable executive (James Woods) for the small sensationalist CIVIC-TV. Looking for new programming, our protagonist is introduced to Videodrome, a plot-less program where people are tortured and murdered on television in a pseudo-erotic fashion. Initially intrigued by it, our hero stumbles upon a frightening conspiracy with monstrous psychological and physical side-effects.

Cronenberg is considered a master of body-horror, especially ever since the advent of 1975's Shivers. Most audience members however are familiar with his The Fly (1986) remake which involves Jeff Goldblum slowly and grotesquely turning into a gigantic fly/human hybrid. Videodrome's weirdness however includes a tumor-laden James Woods with a flesh-formed VCR in his chest and a TV that pulses with the eroticism of a femme fatale. The repercussions of the story (which I dare not ruin) are dumbfounding and clever, fetishizing our human fascination with screens. Gross, grim and relentlessly weird, Videodrome gets scarier with every repeated viewing.