Thoughts from the Usher Podium: Guilty Pleasures

Everyone's got a few. The unloved movies that most people, or at least most critics despise yet you can't help but love them. Maybe it's that first rated-R movie you watched when you were twelve or that huge box-office disaster that ended careers...you watched when you were twelve. Recently, I've been getting a lot of people asking me what movies I absolutely love yet everyone hates. Since I'm an unapologetic film snob, I try to keep a tight lip on the subject. Usually I list an obscure foreign film then disappear in a cloud of smoke but today I think I'm going to come clean.

Below are a list of films which are far from classics yet to me, they hold a special place in my heart and I will defend their honor. For the most part they fit a particular criteria; they are not critical darlings which means they have a decidedly "Rotten" score on rottentomatoes.com. They were largely unpopular during their release, for the most part they are box-office bombs and for the most part they are not terribly obscure (though that kind of depends on you).

10. Screwed (2000)
Remember when Norm MacDonald was funny? Okay, remember when people thought Norm MacDonald was funny? There was a time in the late-nineties/early-two-thousands he got the full post-SNL treatment: a few leads in a a bunch of little seen comedies, his own sitcom which lasted a few seasons and he even got a gig as Lucky the Dog in Doctor Dolittle (1998). Among his various appearances at that time was the 2000 flop Screwed co-starring Dave Chappelle, Danny DeVito and Elaine Stritch. In it Norm plays a mistreated chauffeur who kidnaps his boss's dog and holds it ransom. After a series of unfortunate events however, the dog winds up back home and the boss and authorities believe the chauffeur to be kidnapped.

Norm: Not even our first choice to sell chicken.

What sets Screwed apart from other SNL-themed dead-horse-beaters is its unpredictability. While the insanity never reaches an energetic crescendo, its never the fault of the winning script; written by Scott Alexander and Larry Karaszewski. You may recall they are the same writing partners that made Ed Wood (1994), The People Vs. Larry Flynt (1996) and Man on the Moon (1999). In Screwed their slumming not just as writers but as directors yet there's still a sly subtext of a desperate working class struggling against an uncaring bourgeoisie. It brings to mind Big Deal on Madonna Street (1958) among other Commedia all'italiana only set to American tastes.

All the supporting cast members including and especially Elaine Stritch and Dave Chappelle have brought their A-game. Norm MacDonald stands as the only discord in this goofy farce about crime and desperation. That and perhaps the sloppy, almost Kevin Smith-like direction and cinematography. Other than that however, the movie is worth a second look or at the very least worth more than a 7% on rottentomatoes. Even Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) got away with a 19%.

9. She Gets What She Wants (2002)
Also known as "Slap Her, She's French," this little movie is about a solipsistic Texas high-school cheerleader named Starla (Jane McGregor), whose family takes in a foreign exchange student from France named Genevieve (Piper Perabo). The plot then devolves into a less subtle version of Mean Girls (2004) with the Genevieve becoming popular at school, stealing the affections of the family and taking Starla's place on the cheer-leading squad. Will young Starla be able to take her social life back or will the conniving Genevieve successfully ruin her future.

Watch it! Or the terrorists win.

This movie was released overseas mere months before the invasion of Iraq and wasn't given a TV release in the United States until 2005. By that time freedom-fries were all the rage and Franco-hatred was on the rise. The creators probably felt there was finally a market for this unfairly shelved movie. Thing is this movie is less about Americans hating on France's stance on Iraq than it is a sardonic and satiric look at American culture told from an outsider's perspective. Starla, our protagonist is so insulated to the trappings of American life that she doesn't realize there's something very off about Genevieve. The final reveal at the end of the film only reinforces that idea that our culture as a whole conditions us to be self-centered, confrontational and petty. Even if that comes at the cost of our reputation. Now, in 2015 we've stopped eating freedom-fries but there's not a chance in hell we're eating humble pie.

8. Death to Smoochy (2002)
Death to Smoochy is one of those films whose assumed plot we've always fantasized about; especially those of us with young children in the home. Barney the Dinosaur (1992-2010), Teletubbies (1997-2001), Yo-Gabba-Gabba (2007-Present) inspire just as many kids to use their imaginations and jump up and down as they inspire grown-ups to take up Valium. So why not release a movie about a beloved children's character meeting his demise.

Well I'm not sure people knew quite what they were getting into with this one but if you can deal with Edward Norton's painful earnestness and Robin William's mania there's actually quite a lot to like here. Atmospherically the tone is dark and caustically funny. Director Danny DeVito creates a cynical media-centric universe in this film where crime and corruption ooze into the folds of children's programming. Smoochy the Rhino (Edward Norton) is a real believer in the power of his message to kids which is at odds with his angry rival Rainbow Randy (Robin Williams). As a result Smoochy naivety was seen by many as unrealistic and even annoying. I agree but a lot of bad things happen to the pink rhino so to me, it washes out.

7. 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag (1997)
Before Robert De Niro successfully entered the realm of self-parody in Analyze This (1999), Joe Pesci had a chance to play with the idea in 8 Head in a Duffel Bag. In the film he plays a bagman for a big-time west coast mobster. Said mobster wants the heads of his former rivals delivered to him from the east-coast pronto so Pesci's character obliges one more time before retirement. He takes a flight with the heads stuffed in a duffel bag (because it was 1997 and airport security was more lenient back then). Then there's a mix-up involving identical bags; womp womp.

Hang on, I think you're getting ahead of yourself.

The energy in this movie is low and the direction is plain and uninspiring but the script is absolutely hilarious. It's a farce in the highest order and if it were reproduced as a stage play I'd be the first in line to see it. Joe Pesci is clearly the best part of the movie but co-stars Dyan Cannon, David Spade and late addition Ernestine Mercer also shine as unwitting victims of the confusion created by lost luggage and severed body parts. If you have a chance, I highly recommend you check this ridiculous little movie out. Fair warning: there are a lot of bodily themed puns in this movie. You've been warned, don't loose your head over it.

6. Joe Versus the Volcano (1990)
One thing you can say about John Patrick Shanley's writing, he can do charming without being too maudlin. He's a master of quaintness and while Joe Versus the Volcano stands as one of the playwright's biggest misfires, there's still a surprising amount of depth to it. The movie starts with Joe Banks (Tom Hanks), an overworked corporate drone and hypochondriac who is told he has less than a year to live. Joe is propositioned by an eccentric billionaire who would like to exploit a remote island tribe, but their one caveat is they need someone to jump into their volcano. Joe volunteers and for a week is treated like a king while learning what it means to truly live.

Suggested sequel: Joe Versus the Moon

The art direction is cartoon-y and outlandish to the point of surrealism. There are so many little throwaway gags that work so well and the acting is very strong all-around. First and foremost this film is a fable with Meg Ryan (playing three different roles) acting as a guide of sorts to Joe's ultimate revelation. It's a life affirming film. A film which despite risking being a parody of itself winds up being surprisingly astute. Joe Versus the Volcano managed to accumulate a cult following despite being a box-office bomb when it was released. Today it has some notable supporters including esteemed film critic Roger Ebert who described it as "fresh and new...".

What do you mean my 4G is almost out of data?!

5. Cellular (2004)
There are no underlying profound messages to be had in Cellular. There are no atmospheric flairs or hidden political themes either. It's just a simple, straightforward story with decent actors, decent art direction and function-only directing. Cellular is essentially the grandson of action flicks like Speed (1994) or The Fugitive (1993). Chris Evans plays an average California slacker who receives a cellphone call from an older woman (Kim Basinger). She frantically tells him she's being held captive for some unknown reason and her kidnappers are after her husband and child. With that Evans has to decide whether he believes her and whether he can do anything about it.

I need not tell you that the physically capable Chris Evans ends up being the savior of this entrenched family and he becomes their future-Captain-America by fumbling his way through a labyrinth of physical and psychological feats. It's fun to watch and what's utilized well in this film versus his other flagship projects is his ability to do comedy. When Cellular came out the only other place I recognized Evans was in Not Another Teen Movie (2001). A movie which despite some serious faults showed that the actor had a capability to make us chuckle. Here, under David R. Ellis's nuts and bolts direction, we have a proper mix of Captain America and teen heartthrob Jake Wyler. Did I also meantion William H. Macy and Jason Statham are also in this movie?

4. This is Where I Leave You (2014)
When I was very young I sat down and watched a movie called Passed Away (1992) starring Bob Hoskins, Jack Warden, William Petersen and Tim Curry. It wasn't that great but as my earliest introduction to black comedy, specifically the reunion-at-a-funeral plot-line, it was gold. This is Where I Leave You is a little more somber in tone than Passed Away or for that matter Death at a Funeral (2007) but the plot is still roughly the same. A maladjusted family comes together to mourn the passing of the broods patriarch. Before, during and after the funeral family secrets are revealed, rivalries are renewed and dysfunction causes chaos.

You mean this movie still doesn't make up for The Ex (2006)?

This is Where I Leave You failed to get much critical or box-office attention despite a talented cast which includes Jason Bateman, Tina Fey, Jane Fonda and Adam Driver. Part of that reason is because it's an uneasy blend of comedy and drama which never reaches the level of farce or sad-sack melodrama; it's somewhere in-between. Based on a memoir of the same name by Jonathan Tropper, This is Where I Leave You doesn't really focus on big revelations or reveals though there are a few sprinkled in. Its more about representing an interesting and unique family honestly and with affection. Can't really fault a movie for that.

3. Bunraku (2010)

If you haven't seen Bunraku I need you to stop reading and go find it somewhere. I'll be here when you get back, just go find it...

Welcome back. Bunraku is a martial-arts film starring Gackt, Woody Harrelson, Ron Perlman and Josh Harnett sporting a killer face caterpillar. In a post-apocalyptic future where guns are all but banished, crime syndicates are forced to jockey for power and prestige with knives and swords. The most powerful crime lord is a man known as Nicola the Woodcarver (Perlman) who is the target of two wronged heroes: Yoshi the swordsman (Gackt) and The Drifter (Harnett).

Harnett's mustache still the most gaudy thing about this flick

What sets this film apart is the lavish art-direction. The entire world of Bunraku seems to made entirely of origami and paper mache. There are so many meshed-up influences in this movie from minimalist westerns to manhua inspired wuxia. Not to mention a few nods to classic video games. Bunraku is basically just one big nerd-gasm which keeps your attention and never lets go. As far as pure visual splendor, Bunraku is probably the strongest film on this list and therefore the one I'd most recommend to your average filmgoer.

2. BASEketball (1998)
BASEketball is a confluence of two great cross-generational comedic talents; David Zucker who is one third of the great ZAZ writing team responsible for Airplane! (1980), Top Secret! (1984) and Hot Shots! (1991) and South Park (1997-Present) creators Trey Parker and Matt Stone who need no exclamation points. In the film, two underachieving friends stumble onto a front yard game that becomes a sports phenomenon grabbing the attention and imagination of the masses. Quickly becoming sports heroes, our duo's friendship begins to fracture under the pressure of their new-found success, not to mention a rivalry for the affections of a woman (Yasmine Bleeth).

Now I need not tell those who have seen this film why it's great. Yet for the uninitiated let me say this movie has it all as far as low-brow comedy. Solid gross-out humor, goofy sight-gags and a lot of locker room insults largely lobbed on Dian Bachar's diminutive character Squeak. Director David Zucker actually invented the game of Baseketball years ago and attached Parker and Stone by telling them they're going to make a Hollywood movie out of the stupidest idea he could think of. The ridiculousness of the story and the exaggerated relationships between the characters keep the rollicking laughs at an even pace which helps even the most cynical of filmgoers to overlook the film's shortcomings. Plus it has a killer ska tinged soundtrack featuring Reel Big Fish and Smash Mouth...Shut up! Ska's not dead!

1. Drop Dead Gorgeous (1999)
Small town beauty pageants have never been so cutthroat as they were in 1999's Mount Rose Minnesota's American Teen Princess Pageant. This savage mockumentary features an all-star cast taking gleeful jabs at superficiality, Midwestern hospitality, small town corruption and the American notion of beauty. At the center of all the hoopla is Kirsten Dunst's Amber Atkins who looks up to her idol Diane Sawyer and earnestly wants her mother to see her tap dance on stage. Yet it is soon revealed someone in the pageant doesn't want her or any other strong contenders winning the competition.

The reason for Drop Dead Gorgeous's failure and relative obscurity has more to do with the movies it's compared to. The film more than obviously borrowed themes and plot lines from Smile (1975) and critics saw Drop Dead's light and mocking tone to be disrespectful when compared to the weighty feminist undertones of its edgier 1970's counterpart. Additionally by 1999 auteur Christopher Guest had all but monopolized the mockumentary genre creating the highly lauded Waiting for Guffman (1996) and Best in Show (2000). His style mixes a dollop of humanism into the gentle ribbing of his subjects resulting in mockumentaries that are deadpan yet sweet. As a standalone feature however, Drop Dead Gorgeous is a scathingly funny satire with a fantastic cast that includes Ellen Barkin, Kirstie Alley, Allison Janney, Denise Richards, Amy Adams and Brittany Murphy.