Evil Toons

Year: 1992
Genre: Horror
Directed: Fred Olen Ray
Stars: David Carradine, Arte Johnson, Dick Miller, Monique Gabrielle, Suzanne Ager, Madison Stone, Barbara Dare, Don Dowe, Michelle Bauer, Robert Quarry, Fred Olen Ray
Production: American Independent Productions

Perhaps a more appropriate title for this AIP (American Independent Productions) cheapy would be Evil Toon. After all, for all its advertised zaniness, the movie really only has one cartoon villain which is really only seen a handful of times. Consequently, most of the film is populated by the familiar crop of has-beens and a lead foursome of ladies probably hand-picked from the sticky pages of Penthouse Magazine.

The setup is simple; a group of teenage girls are hired as a cleaning crew and are forced to spend the night in an old house with a bad reputation. While there, they unleash an evil spirit that manifests itself as an incredulous wolf cartoon. It promptly possesses, seduces, and slays the occupants of the house leaving only the conspicuously virginal Megan (Gabrielle) and a mysterious man named Gideon (Carradine) to solve the curse.

Think a much tamer (and lamer) Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers (1988)

Giving a film of this caliber a terrible review would be like swatting flies with a sledgehammer. Director Fred Olen Ray has had a long and, to be honest, quite prolific career making micro-budget horror and sci-fi movies, as well as softcore T&A flicks for the golden-age of Skinamax. Shot with a budget of a mere $140,000, Evil Toons doesn't exactly have the bar set all that high.

Thus if one were to overlook the films various faults you may just find a patch of things worth recommending. The plot doesn't drudge along but rather bounces through all the familiar story beats i.e. beginning, middle and end. That may sound like a dig until you consider some horror movies today don't even accomplish this. Additionally the acting is what can be best described as pornstar bad. Our pod of hot coeds clearly have no prior knowledge of how to use a broom; let along the ability to ferret out their motivations within a scene based on the script. Yet there's something endearing about the entire process; think watching a middle school play only with gratuitous amounts of nudity. It can be fun, if and only if you decide to pre-game before the movie.

Otherwise you're looking at a light spoof on haunted houses that is both light on the horror and light on the laughs. Fred Olen Ray was rumored to have approached famed king of pop cinema Roger Corman about this script. Corman turned him down because the budget request was too low given the amount of special-effects needed. Ray shot it anyway, and made a tidy profit banking on the name recognition of the women; staples of Penthouse and Vivid Entertainment. Frankly I would have sprung for at least one bankable star. And no in 1992 that bankable star was not David Carradine.

...Sorry man.

Final Grade: F