Kong: Skull Island

Year: 2017
Genre: Action Adventure
Directed: Jordan Vogt-Roberts
Stars: Tom Hiddleston, Samuel L. Jackson, Brie Larson, John C. Reilly, John Goodman, Corey Hawkins, John Ortiz, Tian Jing, Toby Kebbell, Jason Mitchell, Shea Whigham, Thomas Mann, Eugene Cordero, Marc Evan Jackson
Production: Warner Bros.

Kong: Skull Island is as much a competently made thrill ride as it is a wild, haphazardly assembled Frankenstein's monster. It scares, it excites, it occasionally cajoles a laugh or two; it also frustrates and bewilders. Through it all it stays true to the original 1976 version, or at least true-ish enough to its surface level spirit. Wait, you're telling me there was a 1933 version that wasn't as unabashedly splashy? Say it ain't so!

All hail the King!

Set in 1973, Kong tells the desperate story of a group of scientists, soldiers and inter-governmental flunkies trying to survive a few days on the film's titular island. Initially lined-up as a geology expedition, Lieutenant, Preston Packard (Jackson), Tracker, James Conrad (Hiddleston) and Photographer, Mason Weaver (Larson) lead a pack of expendables through thick vegetation loaded with freakish monsters, defiant locals and John C. Reilly. They of course have plenty of run-ins with the island's solitary king, painting a picture of the giant ape as both a gentle giant and a force to be reckoned with.

Here's the thing about seeing something like this on the big screen...again: We already know there's only so much you can do with a creature like Kong. Taken to the absolute basics, we know the structure of the film is going to be a row of dwindling meat sacks being picked off one-by-one while Kong stops the show to kick some butt and then retreat into the forest to lick his wounds. Admittedly, Skull Island does a better job than most, dressing up what amounts to a final destination gambling pool. But considering the piddly character arcs doled out in this film, we never get as invested in them as we should.

Admit it, you appreciated his dreamy bedroom eyes.

The slow-burning, Peter Jackson King Kong (2005) compensated by turning Kong into an actual living, breathing character. The stop-motion work of Andy Serkis combined with Naomi Watts' Watt-ness, gave the giant ape a child-like innocence that audiences at the time found endearing. This version on the other hand turns Kong into a gritty, unforgiving force of nature motivated by ferocious anger and primordial fear. Thus what we have is a movie that intuitively lacks investment, shoots itself in the foot when it comes to the monster, and leans a bit too heavily on its Vietnam War allegory to carry the day.

I don't even know what to do with these anymore...

So Skull Island basically amounts to being a pit stop on yet another tent pole extended universe. It's awash in intricate world-building detail and inner-movie lore that will no doubt be erased or re-framed as the new installment comes clomping in. Whether you like it or not, you basically running a marathon now.

Final Grade: C+