Okay – so
it’s been a while since I’ve written on this blog. It’s partially to do with
the fact that over the last few months I have changed cities, jobs, personal
acquaintances, personal habits, priorities, - basically my entire goddamn
lifestyle. So needless to say things have gotten a little out of hand as of
late and chiming you in on the details would be exceedingly boring for you and
emotionally exhausting for me. I rather just say that after watching Avengers:
Infinity War this weekend, I decided to give you one of a bijillion hot takes
on the Marvel Cinematic Universe a la a countdown (because aren’t countdowns
original). That’s right; I’m gonna plant my flag among all the various “Worst
to Best” lists likely taking up your social media feed by adding one of my own.
A quick note
before I get started though let me just say the Marvel shows will not be
featured. For one, I’ve only seen a few and simply don’t have time to see the
rest. Also I’m a movie completest first and foremost. Sorry, if I went and saw
every TV show people recommended to me I’d never leave the house. Just know that
if pressed, Jessica Jones would be nearer to the top of an inclusionary list.
So without
further ado…
19. The
Incredible Hulk
The
Incredible Hulk has experienced a bit of a lukewarm reevaluation as of late due
to nascent ten-year-old nostalgia and the inclusion of Marvel ephemera in the background that
gives re-watches the extra mileage. Thing is, even when you include that stuff,
it’s still just an average monster movie. It always seems to be in a race to
get somewhere but unless you know something about The Hulk before you watch it,
all the plot details never seem to leave an emotional imprint. Thus The
Incredible Hulk is in the running for most forgettable film in the Marvel
Cinematic Universe.
18. Thor 2:
The Dark World
…Admit it
though, had it not been for the Aether; the magical macguffin that was sure to be
important in Infinity War, the title of most forgettable would honestly go to
Thor: Dark World. As superhero movies go, the action is dull, the story plods
unendingly and the “twist” ending mocks the need to give the MCU any sense of
stakes. It also has the distinction of having the worst villain in
Malen…Malort…Mala…the blue elf guy played by Christopher Eccleston. So what
ends up giving this movie just that much more of an edge over Incredible Hulk?
The Thor/Loki dynamic of course.
17. Iron Man
2
This damn
movie often felt like an inside joke I wasn’t a part of. Rumor was a lot of the
movie didn’t have a working script so the actors were told to ad-lib ala Curb
Your Enthusiasm style. As you can imagine Robert Downey Jr. and Sam Rockwell
took to that conceit like ducks to water but Gwyneth Paltrow and Mickey Rourke looked
like they were being tortured. At least they were wise to switch Terrence
Howard with Don Cheadle who brings a lot of added depth to War Machine.
16.
Avengers: Age of Ultron
Not even the
satiny voice of James Spader could have saved Age of Ultron from magnifying
many of the reoccurring problems in the MCU – namely so-so villains, a bloated mythology and a
lackluster middle third. Still the inclusion of Elizabeth Olsen and Aaron
Taylor-Johnson made the hodgepodge a lot easier to swallow. Plus the chase
scene in Tokyo felt appropriately tense.
15. Thor
Thor can be
credited for creating the mysticism-to-reality mold that set the stage for
Marvel’s more out there magic and deep space journeys. It also served as a great
introduction of the character of Thor as played by a totally game Chris
Hemsworth. Unfortunately the movie as a whole felt a lot like a stop-gap for
the upcoming Avengers team-up and nowhere is that more evident on how the story
played out. Oh well, at least we got the MCU’s singularly more enduring villain
in Loki.
14. Captain
America: The First Avenger
Captain
America: The First Avenger resembles to me, a slightly uglier looking Rocketeer
(1991). It was old-fashioned in that vogue; creating a superb character in Cap,
who would eventually become the moral center of the entire universe. Also
deserving of accolades is Hayley Atwell as Agent Carter and the perfectly cast
Tommy Lee Jones as Steve Rogers’s Colonel and sorta-handler.
13. Iron Man
3
I honestly
loved Shane Black’s take on the titular hero of Iron Man. Keep in mind this
movie came out after The Avengers, and after Tony Stark’s substance abuse
implosion in Iron Man 2. So realistically where else could this series have
gone? Instead of going bigger, it went smaller creating intimate stakes that
felt immediate and timely. Also Ben Kingsley as The Mandarin…I loved it! Many
people didn’t but I did.
12. Ant-Man
Ant-Man is a
bit of a guilty pleasure for me. By comparison, the movie (and probably the
hero himself) may feel inconsequential at first. But it’s able mix of
family-friendly comedy and heist-situation stakes blended so perfectly with the
constant visual gags that I couldn’t help but love the movie. Could it have
been better if Edger Wright finished the job he started? Maybe but as Ant-Man
is what it is, I’m not complaining too much.
11.
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
Vol. 2 was a
fun, quickly paced ride much like its predecessor, which had the added benefit
of being about something as opposed to just being a fun space romp. What it
lacked however was the freshness and surprise of the first one and a second act
that becomes exposition heavy and layered with lazy jokes. But hey, it was nice
seeing Kurt Russell in one of these movies – even if he turns out to be a bit
of a siphon on the plot near the end.
10.
Avengers: Infinity War
Big, bold
and busy – Infinity War succeeded in going where literally no movie has ever
gone before. That is to say, it starts to tie up some of the loose plot threads
from the other movies, while also giving full introduction to the largest
villain of them all Thanos. And it does all this while being completely insular
to the MCU which limits its appeal I grant you but needed to be done. I'm still not entirely convinced this movie succeeded in its endeavors but at least it could have been a heck of a lot worse.
9. Doctor
Strange
Hey look!
It’s a remake of Iron Man but with magic! In all seriousness though, Doctor
Strange offered a reprieve of the hard-punching, shoot’em up chaos of the other
movies in favor of something that’s a little more colorful and groovy. Plus
Doctor Strange had maybe the best third act climaxes of any of the stand-alone
movies; a climax that relies more on brains than brawn.
8. Captain
America: The Winter Soldier
Marvel’s
answer to the taut espionage thriller sub-genre, The Winter Soldier is far
better than it has any right to be. Not only does it provide the midriff of the
most compelling character arcs in the entire franchise but it manages to strike
the proper balance between grand and intimate when it comes to stakes. It’s
also about something i.e. the surveillance state, which is nice, even if its
ripped-from-the-headlines angle takes itself a little too seriously at times.
7.
Spider-Man: Homecoming
Spider-Man:
Homecoming is a high-wire act of expectations that are largely met thanks to
the pitch-perfect casting of Tom Holland and the unique interplay between him
and Robert Downey Jr. The high school hijinks are a nice change of pace from
the usual world destroying stakes of other films. And the Vulture as played by
Michael Keaton is definitely the strongest villain we’ve seen since Loki.
6. Guardians
of the Galaxy
Guardians is
closest in spirit to the first Avengers movie, which is to say it’s an ensemble
piece whose success is determined by whether or not said ensemble will gel in
time to take down their foe. Difference this time is the Guardians are a group
of underdogs (relatively unknown underdogs to boot) who make it obvious their
goals aren’t always aligned with the fate of the world. What results is a
hilarious and charming space adventure that is equal parts delightful and
action-packed.
5. Thor:
Ragnarok
Thor:
Ragnarok is the quintessential Marvel movie. It’s action-packed, surprising,
character-driven, funny to a fault and radically its own thing while fitting
neatly into the larger master-plan. Director Taika Waititi took the most
milquetoast hero of the franchise and used the character as a jumping-off point
to explore themes of historical myth-making and genocide all the while keeping
a light touch. Definitely a step up from Kenneth Branagh’s trademark stuffiness
and whatever the hell was up with Dark World.
4. Iron Man
Ah yes, the
one that started it all – the one in which all the others are built on. Right
out of the gate Iron Man created a lot of positive trends for Marvel. It made a
pitch-perfect casting choice in Robert Downey Jr., it jumbled high-octane
action, interesting dramatic stakes, a lot of wily humor etc. and of course the
very first Marvel stinger. I for one didn’t even realize how crucial Iron Man
was to movie history until I bought the DVD and let the credits roll. There was information out
there about the MCU by then but certainly not as accessible as it is now. 2008
was a much simpler time.
3. Captain
America: Civil War
The airport
battle alone is enough to justify Civil War’s placement near the top of this
list. Not only was it a boat load of fun but it artfully expressed each
character’s powers and abilities and gave them all just enough time to shine.
Civil War also serves as a perfect character resolution for Captain America who
started off naïve way back in the 1940’s and has now become a well-seasoned,
stoic figure of moral authority. A moral authority that ironically puts him at
odds with the rest of the world by the time the credits roll.
2. Black
Panther
Black
Panther was going to be wildly popular even if Marvel took the opportunity to
rest on their laurels. Thankfully Black Panther not only turned in all the
hallmarks of a good Marvel movie i.e. great action, interesting characters, intimate
story, immediate stakes and so forth, it also had the gall for be about
something. In today’s heated political climate, it was absolutely amazing to
see a movie this outwardly celebratory of pan-afro culture. It’s even more
impressive when (for once) Marvel handled its villain in a richly layered and
sympathetic way. Wakanda forever!
1. The
Avengers
Iron Man may
have been the first, Civil War may have been the most fun, Black Panther may
have been the most compelling and Ragnarok may have been the quirkiest but when
it comes to how the entire model of how an entire expanded universe can work,
The Avengers is the apex of such a colossal undertaking. It’s big, its bold, it
provides a last act that’s little more than a huge expensive fireworks display
but hot dog is it great! It’s the perfect culmination of what was then five
years worth of buildup. The stakes were appropriately high, the characters were
absolutely at their best and the tone literally never let up once! It’s a
nearly flawless exhibition of pop culture excess and so immediately iconic at
the time of its release that we’re still talking about it like its holy
scripture today.
