Marvel Movie Rankings

Okay – so it’s been a while since I’ve written on this blog. It’s partially to do with the fact that over the last few months I have changed cities, jobs, personal acquaintances, personal habits, priorities, - basically my entire goddamn lifestyle. So needless to say things have gotten a little out of hand as of late and chiming you in on the details would be exceedingly boring for you and emotionally exhausting for me. I rather just say that after watching Avengers: Infinity War this weekend, I decided to give you one of a bijillion hot takes on the Marvel Cinematic Universe a la a countdown (because aren’t countdowns original). That’s right; I’m gonna plant my flag among all the various “Worst to Best” lists likely taking up your social media feed by adding one of my own.

A quick note before I get started though let me just say the Marvel shows will not be featured. For one, I’ve only seen a few and simply don’t have time to see the rest. Also I’m a movie completest first and foremost. Sorry, if I went and saw every TV show people recommended to me I’d never leave the house. Just know that if pressed, Jessica Jones would be nearer to the top of an inclusionary list.

So without further ado…

19. The Incredible Hulk

The Incredible Hulk has experienced a bit of a lukewarm reevaluation as of late due to nascent ten-year-old nostalgia and the inclusion of Marvel ephemera in the background that gives re-watches the extra mileage. Thing is, even when you include that stuff, it’s still just an average monster movie. It always seems to be in a race to get somewhere but unless you know something about The Hulk before you watch it, all the plot details never seem to leave an emotional imprint. Thus The Incredible Hulk is in the running for most forgettable film in the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

18. Thor 2: The Dark World

 …Admit it though, had it not been for the Aether; the magical macguffin that was sure to be important in Infinity War, the title of most forgettable would honestly go to Thor: Dark World. As superhero movies go, the action is dull, the story plods unendingly and the “twist” ending mocks the need to give the MCU any sense of stakes. It also has the distinction of having the worst villain in Malen…Malort…Mala…the blue elf guy played by Christopher Eccleston. So what ends up giving this movie just that much more of an edge over Incredible Hulk? The Thor/Loki dynamic of course.

17. Iron Man 2

This damn movie often felt like an inside joke I wasn’t a part of. Rumor was a lot of the movie didn’t have a working script so the actors were told to ad-lib ala Curb Your Enthusiasm style. As you can imagine Robert Downey Jr. and Sam Rockwell took to that conceit like ducks to water but Gwyneth Paltrow and Mickey Rourke looked like they were being tortured. At least they were wise to switch Terrence Howard with Don Cheadle who brings a lot of added depth to War Machine.

16. Avengers: Age of Ultron

Not even the satiny voice of James Spader could have saved Age of Ultron from magnifying many of the reoccurring problems in the MCU – namely so-so villains, a bloated mythology and a lackluster middle third. Still the inclusion of Elizabeth Olsen and Aaron Taylor-Johnson made the hodgepodge a lot easier to swallow. Plus the chase scene in Tokyo felt appropriately tense.

15. Thor

Thor can be credited for creating the mysticism-to-reality mold that set the stage for Marvel’s more out there magic and deep space journeys. It also served as a great introduction of the character of Thor as played by a totally game Chris Hemsworth. Unfortunately the movie as a whole felt a lot like a stop-gap for the upcoming Avengers team-up and nowhere is that more evident on how the story played out. Oh well, at least we got the MCU’s singularly more enduring villain in Loki.

14. Captain America: The First Avenger

Captain America: The First Avenger resembles to me, a slightly uglier looking Rocketeer (1991). It was old-fashioned in that vogue; creating a superb character in Cap, who would eventually become the moral center of the entire universe. Also deserving of accolades is Hayley Atwell as Agent Carter and the perfectly cast Tommy Lee Jones as Steve Rogers’s Colonel and sorta-handler.

13. Iron Man 3

I honestly loved Shane Black’s take on the titular hero of Iron Man. Keep in mind this movie came out after The Avengers, and after Tony Stark’s substance abuse implosion in Iron Man 2. So realistically where else could this series have gone? Instead of going bigger, it went smaller creating intimate stakes that felt immediate and timely. Also Ben Kingsley as The Mandarin…I loved it! Many people didn’t but I did.

12. Ant-Man

Ant-Man is a bit of a guilty pleasure for me. By comparison, the movie (and probably the hero himself) may feel inconsequential at first. But it’s able mix of family-friendly comedy and heist-situation stakes blended so perfectly with the constant visual gags that I couldn’t help but love the movie. Could it have been better if Edger Wright finished the job he started? Maybe but as Ant-Man is what it is, I’m not complaining too much.

11. Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Vol. 2 was a fun, quickly paced ride much like its predecessor, which had the added benefit of being about something as opposed to just being a fun space romp. What it lacked however was the freshness and surprise of the first one and a second act that becomes exposition heavy and layered with lazy jokes. But hey, it was nice seeing Kurt Russell in one of these movies – even if he turns out to be a bit of a siphon on the plot near the end.

10. Avengers: Infinity War

Big, bold and busy – Infinity War succeeded in going where literally no movie has ever gone before. That is to say, it starts to tie up some of the loose plot threads from the other movies, while also giving full introduction to the largest villain of them all Thanos. And it does all this while being completely insular to the MCU which limits its appeal I grant you but needed to be done. I'm still not entirely convinced this movie succeeded in its endeavors but at least it could have been a heck of a lot worse.

9. Doctor Strange

Hey look! It’s a remake of Iron Man but with magic! In all seriousness though, Doctor Strange offered a reprieve of the hard-punching, shoot’em up chaos of the other movies in favor of something that’s a little more colorful and groovy. Plus Doctor Strange had maybe the best third act climaxes of any of the stand-alone movies; a climax that relies more on brains than brawn.

8. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

Marvel’s answer to the taut espionage thriller sub-genre, The Winter Soldier is far better than it has any right to be. Not only does it provide the midriff of the most compelling character arcs in the entire franchise but it manages to strike the proper balance between grand and intimate when it comes to stakes. It’s also about something i.e. the surveillance state, which is nice, even if its ripped-from-the-headlines angle takes itself a little too seriously at times.

7. Spider-Man: Homecoming

Spider-Man: Homecoming is a high-wire act of expectations that are largely met thanks to the pitch-perfect casting of Tom Holland and the unique interplay between him and Robert Downey Jr. The high school hijinks are a nice change of pace from the usual world destroying stakes of other films. And the Vulture as played by Michael Keaton is definitely the strongest villain we’ve seen since Loki.

6. Guardians of the Galaxy

Guardians is closest in spirit to the first Avengers movie, which is to say it’s an ensemble piece whose success is determined by whether or not said ensemble will gel in time to take down their foe. Difference this time is the Guardians are a group of underdogs (relatively unknown underdogs to boot) who make it obvious their goals aren’t always aligned with the fate of the world. What results is a hilarious and charming space adventure that is equal parts delightful and action-packed.

5. Thor: Ragnarok

Thor: Ragnarok is the quintessential Marvel movie. It’s action-packed, surprising, character-driven, funny to a fault and radically its own thing while fitting neatly into the larger master-plan. Director Taika Waititi took the most milquetoast hero of the franchise and used the character as a jumping-off point to explore themes of historical myth-making and genocide all the while keeping a light touch. Definitely a step up from Kenneth Branagh’s trademark stuffiness and whatever the hell was up with Dark World.

4. Iron Man

Ah yes, the one that started it all – the one in which all the others are built on. Right out of the gate Iron Man created a lot of positive trends for Marvel. It made a pitch-perfect casting choice in Robert Downey Jr., it jumbled high-octane action, interesting dramatic stakes, a lot of wily humor etc. and of course the very first Marvel stinger. I for one didn’t even realize how crucial Iron Man was to movie history until I bought the DVD and let the credits roll. There was information out there about the MCU by then but certainly not as accessible as it is now. 2008 was a much simpler time.

3. Captain America: Civil War

The airport battle alone is enough to justify Civil War’s placement near the top of this list. Not only was it a boat load of fun but it artfully expressed each character’s powers and abilities and gave them all just enough time to shine. Civil War also serves as a perfect character resolution for Captain America who started off naïve way back in the 1940’s and has now become a well-seasoned, stoic figure of moral authority. A moral authority that ironically puts him at odds with the rest of the world by the time the credits roll.

2. Black Panther

Black Panther was going to be wildly popular even if Marvel took the opportunity to rest on their laurels. Thankfully Black Panther not only turned in all the hallmarks of a good Marvel movie i.e. great action, interesting characters, intimate story, immediate stakes and so forth, it also had the gall for be about something. In today’s heated political climate, it was absolutely amazing to see a movie this outwardly celebratory of pan-afro culture. It’s even more impressive when (for once) Marvel handled its villain in a richly layered and sympathetic way. Wakanda forever!

1. The Avengers

Iron Man may have been the first, Civil War may have been the most fun, Black Panther may have been the most compelling and Ragnarok may have been the quirkiest but when it comes to how the entire model of how an entire expanded universe can work, The Avengers is the apex of such a colossal undertaking. It’s big, its bold, it provides a last act that’s little more than a huge expensive fireworks display but hot dog is it great! It’s the perfect culmination of what was then five years worth of buildup. The stakes were appropriately high, the characters were absolutely at their best and the tone literally never let up once! It’s a nearly flawless exhibition of pop culture excess and so immediately iconic at the time of its release that we’re still talking about it like its holy scripture today.