The Movie Yearbook 2013

I have decided to start a new tradition. At the end of every year I'm releasing a super article that will summarize the new films I have seen throughout the year. While my countdown of in-depth reviews to my personal 100 favorite films is still ongoing, the ultimate challenge is to reach my 4,000 movie benchmark. So without further adieu I introduced the first annual Movie Yearbook: a short summary of all the films I've seen this year.

Most Likely to Succeed

12 Years a Slave (2013) and 3 Idiots (2009)

Out of all the movies I have seen this year, 12 Years a Slave and 3 Idiots are hands down the best. Those who haven't gone out to see 12 Years a Slave before it undoubtedly wins best picture this year, will miss out on one of the most moving and unflinching tales ever put to film.

The larger crime however is never seeing the Bollywood sensation 3 Idiots. Three college friends cause havoc and stress for a dean of a prestigious Engineering University. But when one of them falls for the dean's daughter he vows to have them all expelled if it's the last thing he does. Don't be fooled by the description, 3 Idiots isn't just an Animal House imitation. Watch it, then watch it again.

Class Beauty

Gravity (2013) and Days of Heaven (1978)

Probably the other major contender for this year's coveted Best Picture Oscar will be Gravity which by all accounts is a beautiful film to look. Not only that, it's intense, brilliantly acted by Sandra Bullock and George Clooney and confidently directed. For those still able to see it in theaters do so in 3D if you can.

Days of Heaven, while not as youthful as Gravity still has a hauntingly beautiful spirit to it which doesn't rely on cutting edge CGI technology but brilliant cinematography by the brilliant Nestor Almendros. Only Terrence Malick can make a film so austere yet so overwhelmingly gorgeous.

Class Clowns

21 Jump Street (2012) and Marriage, Italian Style (1964)

All hail arguably the only TV to feature adaptation worth a damn! 21 Jump Street likely took note from Starsky and Hutch (2004) and made a movie that was similar in precipitating plot-device only. What resulted was a hilarious film that actually gave Channing Tatum to be memorable for me.

Marriage, Italian Style is a comedy with melodramatic elements that are uniquely Italian. Sophia Loren plays an aging mistress to a philandering businessman (Marcello Mastroianni)who fakes serious illness to entice him to marry her, so she may secure the futures of her three sons. She claims that one of them is his but will never tell which.

Best Hair
The Wolverine (2013) and Kirikou and the Sorceress (1998)

Is Wolverine going to be the next James Bond? Hugh Jackman has been the adamantium clawed for five films (six if you include his cameo in First Class (2011)); and in The Wolverine he battles foes in Japan (You Only Live Twice (1967) anyone?). Here's to hoping his hair stays perfectly on end for long awaited Days of Future Past (2014) and beyond.

Speaking of hairs on end (among other things), the sorceress of the cartoon fable Kirikou and the Sorceress (1998) had some impressive locks of her own (among other things). The film centers around a legendary little boy named Kirikou who saves his village from multiple misfortunes most of which are perpetrated by the young but malicious sorceress and her minions. Who can't admire a woman who sports hair longer than the span of her shoulders (also boobies).



Best Smile

Swing Time (1936) and Hysteria (2011)

Swing Time features the enigmatic smiles of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers as well as some really fancy footwork. Those unencumbered by black and white should watch Daddy Long Legs and Feathers dance across the screen in one of the best musical comedies of the era.

And what do you do when you're part of the most underrated movies of 2011? You smile of course which is what Maggie Gyllenhaal did a lot in a movie about the invention of the dildo. Think of Hysteria as a suffrage era follow-up to Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005) only with less nudity and more moani...er...smiles.

Best Dressed
Imitation of Life (1959) and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)

Douglas Sirk's Imitation of Life carries some strong emotional weight and touches on issues of racism, social identity and love. So of course in addition to being bold and powerful, it also has some wonderful costuming by future Best Costume Designer Bill Thomas. Come for the gorgeous gowns then stay for Susan Kohner's powerhouse performance as a light skinned black woman pretending to be white.

Speaking of white people, Wes Anderson. Yes, for while I have always considered Wes Anderson a little overrated, I'm slowly being converted to the symmetrical side, starting with Moonrise Kingdom (2012) and now The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Gotta love the matching red caps and bleu de France uniforms.

Most Creative
Barton Fink (1991) and The Invisible Man

What's more creative than a movie about the hardships surrounding the creative process? In Barton Fink's (John Turturro) case, he bit off more than he can chew when he takes a scriptwriting job for a generic movie after a successful stint writing for Broadway. Amid pealing wallpaper, buzzing flies and other entanglements, is it possible for Fink to make a hit? The Coen Brothers certainly did and they didn't need CGI to do it.

The Invisible Man also didn't need CGI. All they needed was some fishing line, and a few cheap camera tricks to make one of the most delightful early horror films to spring out of skid row. Claude Rains our titular villain and hams it up with glee.

Cutest Couples
The Silver Linings Playbook (2012) and Warm Bodies (2013)

Mental illness and neurosis is no laughing matter; except in the case of The Silver Linings Playbook. Both Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper were nominated for Oscars for their performances as two damaged people who manage to find each other. The chemistry is wonderful even if the story can be a little too real for comfort.

Thank goodness Warm Bodies exist to give an unreal edge to this particular category. A zombie (Nicholas Hoult) falls for a human (Teresa Palmer) and the post-apocalyptic world starts to take notice. Hurray for saving the world through love! and necrophilia.

Most Athletic
Hoosiers (1986) and Goon (2011)

The true story about a small farm town obsessed with basketball takes on a head-strong coach with a history and the team goes on to win the Indiana High School Championship. Oops, did I ruin Hoosiers for you? I better not tell you what happens in Miracle (2004), Remember the Titans (2000), The Natural (1984), Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004), Rocky II through V (1979-1990), Karate Kid (1984), Angels in the Outfield (1994), Shaolin Soccer (2001)...

Oh but Goon? Is it really about the sport of hockey? No for beside the aforementioned Miracle, hockey movies are about physical assault on ice (I'm thinking of you Slap Shot (1977)). Here's to Seann William Scott, Liev Schreiber, Jay Baruchel, Alison Pill and angry toothless white people everywhere. 

Biggest Nerds
Iron Man 3 (2013) and The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)

In a year that brought us movies about Ender Wiggin of Ender's Game (2013) fame, Julian Assange of Wikileaks fame and the young cast of The Internship (2013) non-fame; who would think Tony stark would still carry the day. For while Iron Man 3 saw a little steam seeping out of the iron, Stark is still the smartest man on the big screen.

And who picks up the lady nerd prize? Maggie Smith of course! For before she was Professor McGonagall, she was Ms. Jean Brodie, a history teacher who just might be too idealistic and independent minded for her own good. Smith won an Academy Award for her performance which brightens up an otherwise dull movie.

Most Talkative
Blue Jasmine (2013) and Gosford Park (2001)

Woody Allen's latest feature pits Cate Blanchett against the world as his manic-depressive titular anti-hero. She invites comparisons to Blanche Dubois but there's no sympathy for a woman who cracks under the weight of her own deceits.

Deceits is the name of the game in the surprisingly worthwhile Gosford Park. It's a murder mystery played straight with a talkative sense of self. It features an all-star cast including Ryan Phillippe, Tom Hollander, Helen Mirren, Emily Watson, Clive Owen and Maggie Smith who makes a second appearance on this year's yearbook. 

Most Unnecessary Destruction of Public Property
Man of Steel (2013) and World War Z (2013)

I'll say it if no one else will; I'd rather watch Superman Returns (2006) than watch Man of Steel. At least Superman Returns didn't have a pompous, humorless sense of self. It was silly and it freakin' knew it! It also didn't feature a near total destruction of Metropolis in which countless thousands probably perished while we as the audience watched Superman (Henry Cavill) and Zod (Michael Shannon) swirl in the sky. And Superman has the gall to get pissy over drones following him in the sky at the end of the movie? Deal with it Clark! If they can deliver our burritos, they can follow your clowny ass for a while.

Also, what the hell zombie apocalypse enthusiasts? Not only is it completely impossible for a zombie apocalypse to actually occur, why would you want it to anyway? If it's anything like World War Z I'd just call it quits. I certainly don't want the future of the world to be in the hands of Brad Pitt.

Most Likely to be Compared to One Another
This Is the End (2013) and The World's End (2013)

Speaking of apocalypses, here are two movies released this year that will forever be compared to each other like Tombstone (1993) and Wyatt Earp (1994); Capote (2005) and Infamous (2006); The Green Lantern (2011) and The Green Hornet (2011). But while The World's End was a funny movie about a group of friends slugging through a bar crawl while saving the world from robot replacements, This Is the End is a story about a bunch of Judd Apatow stablemen being dumbasses during the biblical end of days.

Biggest Weepers
A Separation (2011) and In Darkness (2011)

A Separation spines a tale about the complexities of life and communication in modern day Tehran told through the eyes of a young girl seeing her family take subtle missteps towards a possible murder trial. It's a morally labyrinthine plot with some excellent acting and heart-wrenching results.

Ah, but A Separation has competition in the crying category with Agnieszka Holland's latest film In Darkness. The true story of Jews hiding beneath the Warsaw streets, in the sewers during WWII. They are aided by a sewer inspector who at first blithely takes their money then goes above and beyond to latch on to his humanity. Tough to watch but brilliantly made.

Most Just Plain Wrong
Four Lions (2010) and Cabin in the Woods (2012)

What? A story about a group of incompetent Jihadists trying to cause mayhem on the streets of London? And Four Lions downright hilarious and even touching. Director/writer Christopher Morris really made an incredibly awesome movie out of its completely tasteless premise, which is saying a bunch.

Four Lions definitely wouldn't have found an audience in America but Cabin in the Woods sure did! While being stereo-typically violent for its genre, Cabin in the Woods surprises with a myriad of plot twists and twistedly funny satire. If you haven't seen Cabin in the Woods yet, what are you doing with your life?

Biggest Drama Queen/King
Sleep, My Love (1948) and Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)

Douglas Sirk may not be a household name and Sleep, My Love is probably not his best work, yet the story about a woman who may or may not be trying to kill her husband and herself is still pretty dramatic. Frighteningly exciting or frighteningly corny, either way you're in for a wild ride.

Oh, but you can't beat the cast of Glengarry Glen Ross which includes some of the greats like Jack Lemmon, Al Pacino and Kevin Spacey. The movies about an office of real estate hucksters trying desperately to keep their jobs includes a boat load of drama, largely taking place in one blistering room. If you haven't seen Glengarry Glen Ross and Netflix doesn't have it, you can always see the play written by David Mamet.

Essentials: The Last Temptation of Christ

I recently saw A Personal Journey with Martin Scorsese Through American Movies (1995), arguably one of the most extensive and accessible documentaries about American film. Scorsese brings you into the beautiful world he first discovered very young, populated with rich characters, reverence towards film technology and awe towards auteurs he had come to respect. His contribution to the world of modern cinema is history making in its own right. A seasoned director and producer, Scorsese has also taken upon himself to champion film preservation on behalf of not just Hollywood movies, but movies worldwide; something for which I truly admire.

Other aspects of the iconoclast I respect beyond measure are his non-gangster related films. Don’t get me wrong I love Goodfellas (1990), Casino (1995), The Departed (2006) et al. but his other prestige projects; Taxi Driver (1976), Raging Bull (1980) and finally The Last Temptation of Christ (1988) hold a special place in my heart I must express. I consider those three films in particular, the staples of Scorsese’s quest for absolution for which The Last Temptation is the culmination of his artistic expression during his early period.

Scorsese has always said that if he hadn’t caught the film bug and started pursuing pictures as a vocation, he would have become a priest. Indeed it was probably the filmmaker’s religious instruction in youth that helped make Last Temptation and further inform its versatility, beauty universality. The film is in fact based on an immensely controversial book of the same name written by Nikos Kazantzakis. Both the film and book dares to expose the life of Jesus Christ as both human and divine, filled with both holy obligation and temporal temptation. The film diminishes Jesus in the eyes of some, making him out to be frail, afraid and even pedestrian.



...Or worse Willem Dafoe

2nd to last temptation: breaking these signs.

Well done Marty

I won’t bore you with the actual plot of Last Temptation as it, for the most part comports with biblically recorded events. The difference is in the mind of its central character. Unlike Nicholas Ray’s King of Kings (1961) or some of the earlier Hollywood hagiographies, Jesus is dispossessed of symbol status. He is not quite clear on his purpose and in the tradition of Abraham questions the decisions made by God. It is through his faults that the Devil finds a way into his tortured soul. In the 2/3rds mark, the devil, which up until then takes the temporal shape of a serpent, tempts Jesus with life free from godly responsibility. In a haze brought on by crucifixion, Jesus imagines living the life of a normal Judean plebeian, falling in love with Mary Magdalene, having children and dying of old age.

Ultimately unfettered by the Devil’s temptations, Jesus ultimately makes the choice to become the sacrificial Lamb of God, thus securing his divine status. Yet it was that very temptation among other liberties that made Christians go absolutely bonkers about The Last Temptation of Christ. Groups boycotted the film for its supposed blasphemies and religious extremists even firebombed the St. Michael Theatre in Paris during its theatrical release injuring ten. In the fervor of the film’s release many of its detractors hurt their cause by purporting the Jews of Hollywood were out to destroy their religion.

Destroy? I much doubt it. If anything Martin Scorsese’s film is life and faith affirming. The film accepts and celebrates the Christian divinity of Jesus Christ while exposing an uncommon characterization that is much more believable. Not only believable but expresses the very thing that made Christ an important figure, his humanity! Furthermore the film creates a historical context which helps explain simultaneously how someone like Jesus could have existed and why his teachings were so prevalent and dangerous to the likes of Pontius Pilate and the Roman Empire.

The Last Temptation of Christ is ultimately about a man who fights and ultimately accepts his narrative through faith in sacrifice. Nine years after hospitalization and treatment for cocaine addiction, Scorsese was no doubt galvanized by its message of a man fighting inner demons.

While Last Temptation was made eight years after Raging Bull and twelve years after Taxi Driver, with four feature length films in-between I place Last Temptation among the triptych because they depict personal struggles on the part of the protagonists which mirror Martin Scorsese’s own struggles with addiction. But while Raging Bull ends ruefully and Taxi Driver nihilistically, Last Temptation comes full circle, ending with a spiritual affirmation that even staunch zealots cannot deny.

Final Grade: A

Grown Ups

Year: 2010
Genre: Comedy
Directed: Dennis Dugan
Stars: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph, Joyce Van Patten, Colin Quinn, Steve Buscemi, Tim Meadows
Production: Happy Madison Productions

I’m not part of the Adam Sandler hater group; it’s one of the ways I show my generational stripes. I grew up on Happy Gilmore (1996), The Waterboy (1998) and Big Daddy (1999) and despite some faults; I actually enjoyed watching You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008). It’s crude low-brow humor and if humor is subjective I’m going to have to differ to the crowd in respects to Sandler.

We got ourselves a comic genius here

Yet regardless of my casual acknowledgement of the former SNL member’s funniness, Grown Ups is not Happy Gilmore. It’s not even Little Nicky (2000); at least that movie dared to put the known universe in its hands. Grown Ups focuses on a grounded premise, with boring conflicts, to deliver a dead film with nothing to offer. The fact that it offers the comic styling of David Spade, Kevin James, Chris Rock and that guy from The Animal (2001) and does nothing with them is an added shame.

Hello ladies...

If Grown Ups involved the aforementioned comedians in a room together doing stupid things for 90 minutes I actually would have been fine with it but instead they decided they wanted to create “characters” for themselves resulting in David Spade playing the least convincing ladies man on earth and me face palming at Chris Rock’s stay at home dad schtick. The only person I might believe in character would be Sandler a la Punch-Drunk Love (2002) but instead he plays a Hollywood insider with a mansion and a live-in maid. Big stretch there Dink.

There are conflicts throughout the film in the classical definition of the word. Kevin James’s character is hiding the fact he’s unemployed by overcompensating (oh wait that wasn’t revealed to the audience until the end). David Spade’s character has a drinking problem (addressed but never resolved). Oh yeah, there’s also something about a basketball rematch between another group of aging men who never grew up consisting of Colin Quinn and Happy Madison regular Steve Buscemi. That happens, in the film’s climax, I guess.

Hey you remember that one time, that one thing happened...that was great

Despite the film juggling a truckload of cliché conflicts, there is no tension or sense of the stakes. Everyone is just so blasé about everything that by the time the big game rolls around, I’m less interested in the characters and more interested in where the matching jerseys came from considering they just agreed to play is by the spur of the moment. With a little extra polish and perhaps a few trimmings and add-ins here and there this film could have been this generation’s Parenthood (1989) but instead settles to be a Cheaper By the Dozen 2 (2005) retread.

Dolce and gabbana? Must be a bitch

And speaking of parents; almost all of the main characters are, in fact parents and are married with wives! Wives who for the most part are treated derisively with Oscar nominee Salma Hayek getting the brunt of the she-devil trope we come to expect in a boys-club comedy. Also getting lampooned for playing their characters convincingly are Golden Globe nominated actress Maria Bello, Emmy nominee Maya Rudolph and veteran stage actress Joyce Van Patten.

So let’s just say Grown Ups failed as a story and as a character piece. But just as The Expendables (2010) was about aged action stars doing their thing, Grown Ups is about a bunch of aging comedians doing theirs. So the bottom line; is it funny. The answer is a resounding…kinda. It’s sporadically funny at certain moments, most of which were in the trailer. Much of the friends’ ragging and japing is funny if you don’t consider they should be in character. But when all is said and done and the last Voss has been spilled, it’s scary to think the funniest thing about this movie is Rob Schneider.

Even he's surprised by that statement

Final Grade: F

Mrs. Miniver

Not of exceptional caliber?! Only a Nazi would say that!

Year: 1942
Genre: Drama
Director: William Wyler
Stars: Greer Garson, Walter Pidgeon, Teresa Wright, Dame May Whitty, Reginald Owen, henry Travers, Richard Ney, Henry Wilcoxon, Christopher Severn, Clare Sanders, John Abbott
Production:

It’s hard to believe that out of the Academy Award’s eighty five year existence, there have only been a handful of Best Picture winners I would consider truly grand and worth anyone’s time. True few have been of decidedly crappy quality, but fewer still I would peg as a must see that will change your life for the better. Mrs. Miniver (1942) is decidedly not a movie of exceptional caliber.

Mrs. Miniver is an American film about a middle class British family who is faced with the grim realities of WWII. Greer Garson plays the title role with the esteemed Walter Pidgeon fudds-his-duddy as the family patriarch. They are fairly happy in marriage and have managed to crank out three kids, the oldest just returning from Oxford. As the film progresses the family has to face German spies, German bombing and British nobility faking nobility.

Stiff upper lip chaps, stiff upper lip

Released in the midst of WWII, William Wyler’s family war drama has the telling sense of war weariness of a movie trying to rally people for war. Did I mention there’s a war going on? It’s a propaganda film through and through, with the family a microcosm of British unity and resolve. At least Henry V (1944) had the good graces to take place in another war to rally English troops for modern warfare. Similarly Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger’s 49^th Parallel (1941) largely took the perspective of a squadron of Nazis to insert its

...And the prize goes to...London pensioners!

Union Jack pride. Now I’m not saying patriotism is a bad thing, especially when it’s sorely needed in a time of life-or-death struggle. But despite British actors, the film I feel rings hollow coming from an American Studio for contemporary audiences.

Of course Mrs. Miniver was a Best Picture winner for a reason, and that reason isn't limited to pride. The film is occasionally nice to look at. William Wyler’s direction is confident and top-notch as always and being an American production shot in California, the dialogue is earnest and free of an abundance of Britishisms like a romance shrouded in social protocol or villains explaining their plans for the sake of gentlemanly fair play. The scenes taking place among ruined countryside and masonry is arguably some of the best set designs of the period. Furthermore Garson’s Miniver is a solid foundation for the other performances to ground themselves.

So you're saying this crap has happened before?

Mrs. Miniver ultimately reminds me of The King’s Speech (2010) in its grandeur. The King’s Speech is a great movie but did it really deserve to beat out The Social Network (2010) or Toy Story 3 (2010) for the coveted golden statuette? Well there’s an argument to be made but Mrs. Miniver went up against 49^th Parallel, Pride of the Yankees (1942) and Yankee Doodle Dandy (1942). Watch them all then tell me which you remember more.