Grown Ups

Year: 2010
Genre: Comedy
Directed: Dennis Dugan
Stars: Adam Sandler, Kevin James, Chris Rock, David Spade, Rob Schneider, Salma Hayek, Maria Bello, Maya Rudolph, Joyce Van Patten, Colin Quinn, Steve Buscemi, Tim Meadows
Production: Happy Madison Productions

I’m not part of the Adam Sandler hater group; it’s one of the ways I show my generational stripes. I grew up on Happy Gilmore (1996), The Waterboy (1998) and Big Daddy (1999) and despite some faults; I actually enjoyed watching You Don’t Mess with the Zohan (2008). It’s crude low-brow humor and if humor is subjective I’m going to have to differ to the crowd in respects to Sandler.

We got ourselves a comic genius here

Yet regardless of my casual acknowledgement of the former SNL member’s funniness, Grown Ups is not Happy Gilmore. It’s not even Little Nicky (2000); at least that movie dared to put the known universe in its hands. Grown Ups focuses on a grounded premise, with boring conflicts, to deliver a dead film with nothing to offer. The fact that it offers the comic styling of David Spade, Kevin James, Chris Rock and that guy from The Animal (2001) and does nothing with them is an added shame.

Hello ladies...

If Grown Ups involved the aforementioned comedians in a room together doing stupid things for 90 minutes I actually would have been fine with it but instead they decided they wanted to create “characters” for themselves resulting in David Spade playing the least convincing ladies man on earth and me face palming at Chris Rock’s stay at home dad schtick. The only person I might believe in character would be Sandler a la Punch-Drunk Love (2002) but instead he plays a Hollywood insider with a mansion and a live-in maid. Big stretch there Dink.

There are conflicts throughout the film in the classical definition of the word. Kevin James’s character is hiding the fact he’s unemployed by overcompensating (oh wait that wasn’t revealed to the audience until the end). David Spade’s character has a drinking problem (addressed but never resolved). Oh yeah, there’s also something about a basketball rematch between another group of aging men who never grew up consisting of Colin Quinn and Happy Madison regular Steve Buscemi. That happens, in the film’s climax, I guess.

Hey you remember that one time, that one thing happened...that was great

Despite the film juggling a truckload of cliché conflicts, there is no tension or sense of the stakes. Everyone is just so blasé about everything that by the time the big game rolls around, I’m less interested in the characters and more interested in where the matching jerseys came from considering they just agreed to play is by the spur of the moment. With a little extra polish and perhaps a few trimmings and add-ins here and there this film could have been this generation’s Parenthood (1989) but instead settles to be a Cheaper By the Dozen 2 (2005) retread.

Dolce and gabbana? Must be a bitch

And speaking of parents; almost all of the main characters are, in fact parents and are married with wives! Wives who for the most part are treated derisively with Oscar nominee Salma Hayek getting the brunt of the she-devil trope we come to expect in a boys-club comedy. Also getting lampooned for playing their characters convincingly are Golden Globe nominated actress Maria Bello, Emmy nominee Maya Rudolph and veteran stage actress Joyce Van Patten.

So let’s just say Grown Ups failed as a story and as a character piece. But just as The Expendables (2010) was about aged action stars doing their thing, Grown Ups is about a bunch of aging comedians doing theirs. So the bottom line; is it funny. The answer is a resounding…kinda. It’s sporadically funny at certain moments, most of which were in the trailer. Much of the friends’ ragging and japing is funny if you don’t consider they should be in character. But when all is said and done and the last Voss has been spilled, it’s scary to think the funniest thing about this movie is Rob Schneider.

Even he's surprised by that statement

Final Grade: F