I have decided to start a new tradition. At the end of every year I'm releasing a super article that will summarize the new films I have seen throughout the year. While my countdown of in-depth reviews to my personal 100 favorite films is still ongoing, the ultimate challenge is to reach my 4,000 movie benchmark. So without further adieu I introduced the first annual Movie Yearbook: a short summary of all the films I've seen this year.
Most Likely to Succeed
12 Years a Slave (2013) and 3 Idiots (2009)
Out of all the movies I have seen this year, 12 Years a Slave and 3 Idiots are hands down the best. Those who haven't gone out to see 12 Years a Slave before it undoubtedly wins best picture this year, will miss out on one of the most moving and unflinching tales ever put to film.
The larger crime however is never seeing the Bollywood sensation 3 Idiots. Three college friends cause havoc and stress for a dean of a prestigious Engineering University. But when one of them falls for the dean's daughter he vows to have them all expelled if it's the last thing he does. Don't be fooled by the description, 3 Idiots isn't just an Animal House imitation. Watch it, then watch it again.
Class Beauty
The larger crime however is never seeing the Bollywood sensation 3 Idiots. Three college friends cause havoc and stress for a dean of a prestigious Engineering University. But when one of them falls for the dean's daughter he vows to have them all expelled if it's the last thing he does. Don't be fooled by the description, 3 Idiots isn't just an Animal House imitation. Watch it, then watch it again.
Class Beauty
Gravity (2013) and Days of Heaven (1978)
Probably the other major contender for this year's coveted Best Picture Oscar will be Gravity which by all accounts is a beautiful film to look. Not only that, it's intense, brilliantly acted by Sandra Bullock and George Clooney and confidently directed. For those still able to see it in theaters do so in 3D if you can.
Days of Heaven, while not as youthful as Gravity still has a hauntingly beautiful spirit to it which doesn't rely on cutting edge CGI technology but brilliant cinematography by the brilliant Nestor Almendros. Only Terrence Malick can make a film so austere yet so overwhelmingly gorgeous.
Class Clowns
Days of Heaven, while not as youthful as Gravity still has a hauntingly beautiful spirit to it which doesn't rely on cutting edge CGI technology but brilliant cinematography by the brilliant Nestor Almendros. Only Terrence Malick can make a film so austere yet so overwhelmingly gorgeous.
Class Clowns
21 Jump Street (2012) and Marriage, Italian Style (1964)
All hail arguably the only TV to feature adaptation worth a damn! 21 Jump Street likely took note from Starsky and Hutch (2004) and made a movie that was similar in precipitating plot-device only. What resulted was a hilarious film that actually gave Channing Tatum to be memorable for me.
Marriage, Italian Style is a comedy with melodramatic elements that are uniquely Italian. Sophia Loren plays an aging mistress to a philandering businessman (Marcello Mastroianni)who fakes serious illness to entice him to marry her, so she may secure the futures of her three sons. She claims that one of them is his but will never tell which.
Marriage, Italian Style is a comedy with melodramatic elements that are uniquely Italian. Sophia Loren plays an aging mistress to a philandering businessman (Marcello Mastroianni)who fakes serious illness to entice him to marry her, so she may secure the futures of her three sons. She claims that one of them is his but will never tell which.
Best Hair
The Wolverine (2013) and Kirikou and the Sorceress (1998)
Speaking of hairs on end (among other things), the sorceress of the cartoon fable Kirikou and the Sorceress (1998) had some impressive locks of her own (among other things). The film centers around a legendary little boy named Kirikou who saves his village from multiple misfortunes most of which are perpetrated by the young but malicious sorceress and her minions. Who can't admire a woman who sports hair longer than the span of her shoulders (also boobies).
Best Smile
Swing Time (1936) and Hysteria (2011)
Swing Time features the enigmatic smiles of Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers as well as some really fancy footwork. Those unencumbered by black and white should watch Daddy Long Legs and Feathers dance across the screen in one of the best musical comedies of the era.
And what do you do when you're part of the most underrated movies of 2011? You smile of course which is what Maggie Gyllenhaal did a lot in a movie about the invention of the dildo. Think of Hysteria as a suffrage era follow-up to Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005) only with less nudity and more moani...er...smiles.
Best Dressed
Imitation of Life (1959) and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Douglas Sirk's Imitation of Life carries some strong emotional weight and touches on issues of racism, social identity and love. So of course in addition to being bold and powerful, it also has some wonderful costuming by future Best Costume Designer Bill Thomas. Come for the gorgeous gowns then stay for Susan Kohner's powerhouse performance as a light skinned black woman pretending to be white.
Speaking of white people, Wes Anderson. Yes, for while I have always considered Wes Anderson a little overrated, I'm slowly being converted to the symmetrical side, starting with Moonrise Kingdom (2012) and now The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Gotta love the matching red caps and bleu de France uniforms.
Most Creative
Barton Fink (1991) and The Invisible Man
What's more creative than a movie about the hardships surrounding the creative process? In Barton Fink's (John Turturro) case, he bit off more than he can chew when he takes a scriptwriting job for a generic movie after a successful stint writing for Broadway. Amid pealing wallpaper, buzzing flies and other entanglements, is it possible for Fink to make a hit? The Coen Brothers certainly did and they didn't need CGI to do it.
The Invisible Man also didn't need CGI. All they needed was some fishing line, and a few cheap camera tricks to make one of the most delightful early horror films to spring out of skid row. Claude Rains our titular villain and hams it up with glee.
Cutest Couples
The Silver Linings Playbook (2012) and Warm Bodies (2013)
Mental illness and neurosis is no laughing matter; except in the case of The Silver Linings Playbook. Both Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper were nominated for Oscars for their performances as two damaged people who manage to find each other. The chemistry is wonderful even if the story can be a little too real for comfort.
Thank goodness Warm Bodies exist to give an unreal edge to this particular category. A zombie (Nicholas Hoult) falls for a human (Teresa Palmer) and the post-apocalyptic world starts to take notice. Hurray for saving the world through love! and necrophilia.
Most Athletic
Hoosiers (1986) and Goon (2011)
The true story about a small farm town obsessed with basketball takes on a head-strong coach with a history and the team goes on to win the Indiana High School Championship. Oops, did I ruin Hoosiers for you? I better not tell you what happens in Miracle (2004), Remember the Titans (2000), The Natural (1984), Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story (2004), Rocky II through V (1979-1990), Karate Kid (1984), Angels in the Outfield (1994), Shaolin Soccer (2001)...
Oh but Goon? Is it really about the sport of hockey? No for beside the aforementioned Miracle, hockey movies are about physical assault on ice (I'm thinking of you Slap Shot (1977)). Here's to Seann William Scott, Liev Schreiber, Jay Baruchel, Alison Pill and angry toothless white people everywhere.
Biggest Nerds
Iron Man 3 (2013) and The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)
In a year that brought us movies about Ender Wiggin of Ender's Game (2013) fame, Julian Assange of Wikileaks fame and the young cast of The Internship (2013) non-fame; who would think Tony stark would still carry the day. For while Iron Man 3 saw a little steam seeping out of the iron, Stark is still the smartest man on the big screen.
And who picks up the lady nerd prize? Maggie Smith of course! For before she was Professor McGonagall, she was Ms. Jean Brodie, a history teacher who just might be too idealistic and independent minded for her own good. Smith won an Academy Award for her performance which brightens up an otherwise dull movie.
Most Talkative
Blue Jasmine (2013) and Gosford Park (2001)
Woody Allen's latest feature pits Cate Blanchett against the world as his manic-depressive titular anti-hero. She invites comparisons to Blanche Dubois but there's no sympathy for a woman who cracks under the weight of her own deceits.
Deceits is the name of the game in the surprisingly worthwhile Gosford Park. It's a murder mystery played straight with a talkative sense of self. It features an all-star cast including Ryan Phillippe, Tom Hollander, Helen Mirren, Emily Watson, Clive Owen and Maggie Smith who makes a second appearance on this year's yearbook.
Most Unnecessary Destruction of Public Property
Man of Steel (2013) and World War Z (2013)
I'll say it if no one else will; I'd rather watch Superman Returns (2006) than watch Man of Steel. At least Superman Returns didn't have a pompous, humorless sense of self. It was silly and it freakin' knew it! It also didn't feature a near total destruction of Metropolis in which countless thousands probably perished while we as the audience watched Superman (Henry Cavill) and Zod (Michael Shannon) swirl in the sky. And Superman has the gall to get pissy over drones following him in the sky at the end of the movie? Deal with it Clark! If they can deliver our burritos, they can follow your clowny ass for a while.
Also, what the hell zombie apocalypse enthusiasts? Not only is it completely impossible for a zombie apocalypse to actually occur, why would you want it to anyway? If it's anything like World War Z I'd just call it quits. I certainly don't want the future of the world to be in the hands of Brad Pitt.
Most Likely to be Compared to One Another
This Is the End (2013) and The World's End (2013)
Speaking of apocalypses, here are two movies released this year that will forever be compared to each other like Tombstone (1993) and Wyatt Earp (1994); Capote (2005) and Infamous (2006); The Green Lantern (2011) and The Green Hornet (2011). But while The World's End was a funny movie about a group of friends slugging through a bar crawl while saving the world from robot replacements, This Is the End is a story about a bunch of Judd Apatow stablemen being dumbasses during the biblical end of days.
Biggest Weepers
A Separation (2011) and In Darkness (2011)
Most Just Plain Wrong
Four Lions (2010) and Cabin in the Woods (2012)
What? A story about a group of incompetent Jihadists trying to cause mayhem on the streets of London? And Four Lions downright hilarious and even touching. Director/writer Christopher Morris really made an incredibly awesome movie out of its completely tasteless premise, which is saying a bunch.
Four Lions definitely wouldn't have found an audience in America but Cabin in the Woods sure did! While being stereo-typically violent for its genre, Cabin in the Woods surprises with a myriad of plot twists and twistedly funny satire. If you haven't seen Cabin in the Woods yet, what are you doing with your life?
Biggest Drama Queen/King
Sleep, My Love (1948) and Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
Douglas Sirk may not be a household name and Sleep, My Love is probably not his best work, yet the story about a woman who may or may not be trying to kill her husband and herself is still pretty dramatic. Frighteningly exciting or frighteningly corny, either way you're in for a wild ride.
Oh, but you can't beat the cast of Glengarry Glen Ross which includes some of the greats like Jack Lemmon, Al Pacino and Kevin Spacey. The movies about an office of real estate hucksters trying desperately to keep their jobs includes a boat load of drama, largely taking place in one blistering room. If you haven't seen Glengarry Glen Ross and Netflix doesn't have it, you can always see the play written by David Mamet.
And what do you do when you're part of the most underrated movies of 2011? You smile of course which is what Maggie Gyllenhaal did a lot in a movie about the invention of the dildo. Think of Hysteria as a suffrage era follow-up to Mrs. Henderson Presents (2005) only with less nudity and more moani...er...smiles.
Best Dressed
Imitation of Life (1959) and The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou (2004)
Speaking of white people, Wes Anderson. Yes, for while I have always considered Wes Anderson a little overrated, I'm slowly being converted to the symmetrical side, starting with Moonrise Kingdom (2012) and now The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou. Gotta love the matching red caps and bleu de France uniforms.
Most Creative
Barton Fink (1991) and The Invisible Man
The Invisible Man also didn't need CGI. All they needed was some fishing line, and a few cheap camera tricks to make one of the most delightful early horror films to spring out of skid row. Claude Rains our titular villain and hams it up with glee.
Cutest Couples
The Silver Linings Playbook (2012) and Warm Bodies (2013)
Thank goodness Warm Bodies exist to give an unreal edge to this particular category. A zombie (Nicholas Hoult) falls for a human (Teresa Palmer) and the post-apocalyptic world starts to take notice. Hurray for saving the world through love! and necrophilia.
Most Athletic
Hoosiers (1986) and Goon (2011)
Oh but Goon? Is it really about the sport of hockey? No for beside the aforementioned Miracle, hockey movies are about physical assault on ice (I'm thinking of you Slap Shot (1977)). Here's to Seann William Scott, Liev Schreiber, Jay Baruchel, Alison Pill and angry toothless white people everywhere.
Biggest Nerds
Iron Man 3 (2013) and The Prime of Miss Jean Brodie (1969)
And who picks up the lady nerd prize? Maggie Smith of course! For before she was Professor McGonagall, she was Ms. Jean Brodie, a history teacher who just might be too idealistic and independent minded for her own good. Smith won an Academy Award for her performance which brightens up an otherwise dull movie.
Most Talkative
Blue Jasmine (2013) and Gosford Park (2001)
Deceits is the name of the game in the surprisingly worthwhile Gosford Park. It's a murder mystery played straight with a talkative sense of self. It features an all-star cast including Ryan Phillippe, Tom Hollander, Helen Mirren, Emily Watson, Clive Owen and Maggie Smith who makes a second appearance on this year's yearbook.
Most Unnecessary Destruction of Public Property
Man of Steel (2013) and World War Z (2013)
Also, what the hell zombie apocalypse enthusiasts? Not only is it completely impossible for a zombie apocalypse to actually occur, why would you want it to anyway? If it's anything like World War Z I'd just call it quits. I certainly don't want the future of the world to be in the hands of Brad Pitt.
Most Likely to be Compared to One Another
This Is the End (2013) and The World's End (2013)
Biggest Weepers
A Separation (2011) and In Darkness (2011)
A Separation spines a tale about the complexities of life and communication in modern day Tehran told through the eyes of a young girl seeing her family take subtle missteps towards a possible murder trial. It's a morally labyrinthine plot with some excellent acting and heart-wrenching results.
Ah, but A Separation has competition in the crying category with Agnieszka Holland's latest film In Darkness. The true story of Jews hiding beneath the Warsaw streets, in the sewers during WWII. They are aided by a sewer inspector who at first blithely takes their money then goes above and beyond to latch on to his humanity. Tough to watch but brilliantly made.
Most Just Plain Wrong
Four Lions (2010) and Cabin in the Woods (2012)
Four Lions definitely wouldn't have found an audience in America but Cabin in the Woods sure did! While being stereo-typically violent for its genre, Cabin in the Woods surprises with a myriad of plot twists and twistedly funny satire. If you haven't seen Cabin in the Woods yet, what are you doing with your life?
Biggest Drama Queen/King
Sleep, My Love (1948) and Glengarry Glen Ross (1992)
Oh, but you can't beat the cast of Glengarry Glen Ross which includes some of the greats like Jack Lemmon, Al Pacino and Kevin Spacey. The movies about an office of real estate hucksters trying desperately to keep their jobs includes a boat load of drama, largely taking place in one blistering room. If you haven't seen Glengarry Glen Ross and Netflix doesn't have it, you can always see the play written by David Mamet.
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