Dreamcatcher

Year: 2003
Genre: Horror
Directed: Lawrence Kasdan
Stars: Thomas Jane, Damian Lewis, Timothy Olyphant, Jason Lee, Morgan Freeman, Tom Sizemore, Donnie Wahlberg
Production: Warner Bros.

In lieu of a typical review, I will give you a synopsis of this celluloid travesty. Keep in mind I've never read the Stephen King book this film is based on but I did hear this film took liberties with it:

Four friends; Henry (Jane), Beaver (Lee), Pete (Olyphant) and Jonesy (Lewis) make their way to a cabin in the snowy woods of Maine. In their youth the foursome stopped a group of bullies from forcing a mentally handicapped kid to eat dog feces. As a result their new friend Duddits (Wahlberg) gave them telepathic gifts.

Your welcome...

Strange things start to happen when they arrive at the cabin. While deer hunting, Jonesy finds a lost and very ill stranger. Meanwhile Henry and Pete get into a car accident while trying to avoid another stranger sitting in the middle of the road. Both strangers fart and burp...a lot. Pete's leg is injured and the car is totaled so Henry volunteers to trek towards the cabin.

Beaver returns to the cabin and he and Jonesy witness a large migration of ill looking animals all being followed by a helicopter. Curtis (Freeman), the man in the chopper tells them to stay put. When they turn around they see bloody footprints leading to the bathroom. After a few moments, they break down the door to find a now dead stranger sitting on the toilet having just birthed a large, sharp-toothed parasitic worm. Beaver promptly sits on the toilet seat lid trapping the worm and tells Jonesy to find masking tape. Jonesy returns just in time to see Beaver being gnawed to death after attempting to pick up a toothpick from the bloody bathroom floor.

Jonesy closes and locks the door but inevitably the worm escapes. When Jonesy turns around to run, he sees a giant angry looking alien who explodes into a red mist and takes over his body. He then hops on a snowmobile and disappears into forest. As Henry gets closer to the cabin he feels something is amiss and hides while a possessed Jonesy drives by.

Meanwhile Curtis and his right-hand man Owen (Sizemore) are part of a top secret military unit trying to quarantine the area which has been infected. They take helicopters to a mountainous area where an alien spaceship has landed and opens fire on them. Curtis apparently has first hand knowledge of their species. After blowing up the spaceship, they return to base to round up all people infected with the virus.

Next time let's just get a beach house

Pete sits waiting for his friends to come for him when the stranger in his care dies and births yet another parasitic worm. Pete manages to fight the worm as it makes a meal of his ear, neck and penis. Mr. Grey,(the alien inhabiting Jonesy) soon finds Pete but Pete immediately knows its not his friend. Mr. Grey then forces Pete to use his superpower of "finding" things to find the highway. Jonesy who apparently still has a living consciousness tries to erase all memories of Duddits and his telepathic skills while trying in vein to save Pete, who is promptly killed for not cooperating. Jonesy however does realize Mr. Grey's plan to release the worms into the Boston reservoir.

Surprisingly this man has been in a lot of bad movies

Meanwhile, after Henry battles another parasitic worm back at the cabin, he shows up at the top secret army base and uses his telepathic skills to unravel Curtis's plan to kill all in the quarantine. He then convinces Owen his superior is crazy and tells him to call in the regular army to halt it. They then hightail it out of there to pick up Duddits who Henry believes is the key to finding Jonesy. Curtis however is hot on their heels commandeering a helicopter and following them via tracking device.

After picking up Duddits who suffers from leukemia, the trio head to the reservoir managing to get there before Mr. Grey can put a worm into the water. Curtis shows up for a show down against Owen who manages to shoot down the machine-gun toting helicopter with a pistol. Henry arrives just in time but is no match for Mr. Grey who leaves Jonesy's body. Luckily Duddits shows up just in time and transforms into an alien. The two extraterrestrials then kill each other. Jonesy wakes up, fade to black.

If this synopsis peaks your interest by all means have fun. But for those of sound mind and body consider this a warning: This movie is incredibly bland, makes no sense and did nothing but waste time.

Final Grade: F