2016 Movie Yearbook

If 2016 can be summed up in one word, that word would be “long”. Looking back on all the movies I have seen this year, I feel like I’m taking years and years worth of emotion. As I reflect, I recall the elation I had while passing the 4,000 movie mark. The fact that I was watching the much maligned The Room (2003) still has little bearing. I can peer into my own puzzlement as I sat and watched Chi-Raq (2015) for the first time, a mere two days before seeing director Spike Lee speak in the flesh about his various accomplishments. I still jump with excitement when thinking of Kill! (1968), cringe with embarrassment at the thought of Fantastic Four (2015) and get that warm fuzzy feeling while thinking of The Castle (1997). Somewhere also tucked in there was the comfort I felt while watching Arrival (2016) in theaters a day after the election results came in.

...and the years will just get longer from here...

This year stands apart for not just being a good year in movie discoveries for myself but theater releases in general. Maybe it’s the fact that I made a valiant effort to see as many movies in theaters as I could but I truly think 2016 might go down as a watershed year in film history. Sure there were a few duds, and if you were pinning all your hopes on franchises and spinoffs (Batman V Superman, Fantastic Beasts, Zoolander 2) then this probably wasn't your year. Yet there were still a few franchise staples that wowed (Captain America: Civil War, Rogue One), as well as some cagey think pieces that aimed to diversify the voices of film (The Birth of a Nation, Equity, Moonlight, Queen of Katwe) and even some unexpected creative surprises along the way (Swiss Army Man, Sausage Party, The Lobster).

Loving the new voices this year!

There were so many good movies that passed my irises this year that the number of superlatives has exploded just so I can cover the films I need to in detail. Thus below are this year’s superlative choices for the They Serve Popcorn in Hell Yearbook. Look upon them in all their glory!

Best Movies I Should Have Probably Seen Sooner

Field of Dreams (1989) / Training Day (2001)

All movie fanatics have blind spots. Movies they’re embarrassed to admit they haven’t seen because amid tireless hours of movie watching, they still manage to have a life. I’m no exception, so this year I paid penance for seeing the sun a few times too often by watching Field of Dreams and Training Day; two memorable Oscar nominated films that were/are fawned over by one group of movie lovers or another. They couldn’t be further apart from each other thematically. One is a hopeful quasi-religious parable about a farmer installing a baseball diamond in his corn field. The other is about a corrupt LAPD captain who meets his comeuppance in the hands of a rookie. Both are memorable, both are quotable and both kinda-sorta stand the test of time.

Worst Franchise Killers

Independence Day: Resurgence (2016) / Zoolander 2 (2016)

For all of the year’s film revelries, 2016 certainly had its fair share of franchise killing stinkers. Some are still kicking around like the underwhelming Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (2016) and the loathsome God’s Not Dead 2 (2016). Others all but killed any chance for a resurrection (Alice Through the Looking Glass? Are you serious?). The two that take the cake however are the long gestating, ill-conceived two-fer that are Zoolander 2 and Independence Day: Resurgence. Both took everything good about their decade old prequels and threw them out the window. What results are two incredibly unpleasant and joyless sequels that are, quite plainly a punishment to the masses.

Most Creative Movies

World of Tomorrow (2015) / Pierrot le Fou (1965)

I saw a virtual smorgasbord of creative films this year. Creative both in terms of visuals and the unique stories they told. In theaters the painstaking detail of Kubo and the Two Strings (2016) is certainly worth mentioning and as far as Netflix and library rentals, the uniqueness of Tangerine (2015) and Branded to Kill (1967) do a lot with precious little. This year however the title of most creative should be given to Don Hertzfeldt’s World of Tomorrow and Jean-Luc Godard’s Pierrot le Fou. World of Tomorrow unassumingly stretches narrative form while constantly experimenting with old-school animation techniques. Yet while Hertzfeldt stretches, Godard, the old master that he is, breaks every narrative form and visual motif he can. Say what you want about the Nouvelle Vogue, there’s simply no denying Pierrot le Fou is a fresh breath of anarchistic madness.

Biggest Disappointments

Batman V Superman: Dawn of Justice (2016) / Dressed to Kill (1980)

Wow, is this even up for debate anymore? I’m sure there are still some DC fanboys willing to shout down discourse but the majority of us have pretty much concluded Batman V Board of Education was a steamy pile of bat droppings. For the record, I was looking forward to this movie and did initially give Ben Affleck the benefit of the doubt; se la vie. As for Brian De Palma’s Dressed to Kill; well let’s just say that despite some pretty mockish references to Hitchcock there’s no shaking the fact Dressed to Kill is (spoiler alert) downright insulting to the transgendered community today.

Funniest Movies

Wild Tales (2014) / Sausage Party (2016)

Boy did I see my fair share of funny movies this year. In theaters there was the aptly droll Edge of Seventeen (2016), the easygoing Everybody Wants Some!! (2016), the super-popular Deadpool (2016) and the surprisingly limber Popstar (2016). At home with my trusty DVD player I reveled in the time capsule appeal of Ruthless People (1986), the thick black humor of Zero Motivation (2014) and the innocent dad-humor of Ghosts of Berkeley Square (1947). My picks this year however have to go to the darkly hilarious Wild Tales and the bawdy ridiculousness of Sausage Party. One explores in earnest the psychological horror of losing your s**t through a collection of shockingly funny vignettes. The other takes fruits and veggies and makes them have sex with each other, you know, classy stuff.

Cheapest Excuse to Add Multiple Movies on My List

The Lost World of Mitchell and Kenyon (1900-1906) / Dog Star Man (1962-1964)

My rule has always been if it was presented on its own then it’s a movie. That is why something like Pixar’s Piper isn’t necessarily considered a movie in my book but the individual 1-30 minute movies out of Stan Brakage’s Dog Star Man and the Mitchell and Kenyon Collection are. For those who aren’t familiar with Stan Brakage, he’s pretty much the granddaddy of the American avant-garde. Dog Star Man (four films plus a prelude) is considered his opus and far be it from me to try to interpret it. The Mitchell and Kenyon films on the other hand are a bit easier to explain. The initial film company became popular in Northern England in the 1900’s for what are now known as actuality films. These films were basically glorified home videos meant to be shown off later that evening to audiences who have never seen a movie before. In 1994, 800 original nitrate film rolls were found in a sealed barrel leading to the largest surviving collection of early British films ever. There are 34 films in all; my favorite Tram Ride into Halifax (1902) is simply footage of a tram riding around town.

Movies That Restored My Faith in Humanity

Arrival (2016) / A Man Called Ove (2015)

As I have said repeatedly since its release, Arrival is an incredible movie whose cautious optimism can’t help but be admired. Something about the way the conceit hinges on humans and aliens talking it out just makes me feel a little more hopeful for the future. Also helping me be hopeful is a little known Swedish film that centers on a crabby octogenarian and his run-ins with his eccentric neighbors. Initially a dark and brittle comedy, A Man Called Ove morphs into something of an axiom about the boundless fruits of love.

…And Then Make Me Lose It Again

Suicide Squad (2016) / Dogville (2003)

Then I watched Dogville a boldly realized and nihilistic film about the limits of being a good neighbor. In it, a woman on the run for some unknown reason, hulls up in the mountain town of Dogville. The townsfolk initially take her in but after a time, the town’s curiosity, suspicion and jealousy get the better of them. Dogville, by being downright Brechtian in its mis en scene, mercilessly destroys all notions of human kindness and lets you cower at the devastating results. Of course, if you’d like to cower some more, you can also watch Suicide Squad (2016), which is devastating for an entirely different reason. The fact that this messy, ugly looking turd became a runaway hit at the box office should be enough evidence that humanity is just plain doomed.

Biggest Tearjerkers

Manchester by the Sea (2016) / A Short Film About Killing (1988)

Both tearjerkers this year are a bit unexpected, especially because their goals aren’t necessarily to make you weep like a little girl but rather to make you care about humanity. Manchester by the Sea, the tale of family grief is more melancholy than tearful but wraps all its themes up in a nice little ball and leaves a lump in your throat throughout. A Short Film About Killing (1988), is exactly what it sounds like, following the brutal, senseless death of a taxi driver and the resulting execution of his killer. With its hushed humanism, A Short Film About Killing encapsulates nearly everything one should love about famed Polish director Krzysztof Kieslowski. In simple yet effective terms, the film seems to be saying “an eye for an eye, makes the whole world blind.”

Biggest WTF Moments

Swiss Army Man (2016) / Big Man Japan (2007)

This year was chalked full of WTF moments. There was the aforementioned devastation of watching Dogville (2003), the uncomfortable weirdness of The Lobster (2015), the third act of Sausage Party (2016), not to mention the bedlam surrounding Hercules and the Captive Women (1961). The less I say about Neon Demon (2016), the better. But as far as whole movie insanity, the cake has to go to Swiss Army Man (2016) and Big Man Japan (2007). I’m not sure who came up with the idea of making Daniel Radcliffe into a childlike, farting jet ski but if those guys ever meet up with the makers of Kaiju mockumentary, Big Man Japan, the world would quickly devolve into chaos.

Most Beautiful Looking Films

In the Mood for Love (2000) / The Conformist (1970)

I've seen a virtual menagerie of beautiful specimens this year; films that truly transcend the limitations of the medium to give us unforgettable imagery. I Am Cuba (1964) certainly ranks up there for its poetic long takes. The Fall (2006) for all its serious story problems can't help but look breathtaking. There's the expressive mis en scene of Moonlight (2016), the austere beauty of The Decalogue (1988), the naturalism of Ixcanul (2015); all just gorgeous. However, the winners in this category have to be In the Mood for Love and The Conformist. As an example of high-quality Chinese artistry, In the Mood for Love goes beyond the filigree of something like Hero (2002) or Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon (2000), injecting its story with a stunningly effective sadness and longing. The Conformist on the other hand utilizes the extremes of colors and shapes to recreate the visual psychology of fascism. It's be ominous, a little scary but also proves intoxicating as well.

Biggest Surprises

Boy and the World (2013) / Hunt for the Wilderpeople (2016)

I saw Boy and the World at the very beginning of last year, and since then I have not been able to shake that movie. It's beautiful, exciting and passionate in equal measure and excites the viewer with surprisingly simple animation. The music is also very catchy, if you're into samba that is. Hunt for the Wilderpeople was likewise, a huge surprise for me. I walked into the theater knowing absolutely nothing about it and walked out with a big smile on my face and the knowledge that Taika Waititi may just be my new favorite contemporary director. I'd tell you more about the plot to each of these fine films but I think in this case you should just check them out and be surprised!

Most Gratuitous Waste of Talent

Rules Don’t Apply (2016) / Dirty Grandpa (2016)

There were quite a couple of ensemble pieces that failed to generate the magic they should've. The Big Chill (1983) for all its babyboomer charm didn't quite gel with me. Masterminds (2016) and Office Christmas Party (2016) for all their comedic star power were downright disasters. That said when you consider the ensemble cast of Rules Don't Apply (Matthew Broderick, Warren Beatty, Candice Bergen, Martin Sheen, Annette Bening, Oliver Platt, Alden Ehrenreich), you'd think it'd be like going from 0 to 60 in seconds. Alas it felt more like the movie was idling at 35 the entire time. Then of course there was a waste of talent in the singular sense. That award should go to Dirty Grandpa for wasting the time and patience of the one and only Robert De Niro.

Movies Most Likely to Knock Each Other Out

Bleed for This (2016) / Hands of Stone (2016)

Ah, the twins come out to play this year. 2016 was the year two true-life boxing stories came to the box office and everyone let out a collective shrug. Sorry Vinny Pazienza, sorry Roberto Duran no one really wanted to see your stories all that much.

Scariest Movies

The Witch (2015) / Nerve (2016)

Admittedly, I am not the biggest fan of horror films and as a result, I really didn't see all that many. I will say that for the most part I marginally enjoyed the ones I did manage to catch in theaters i.e. The Conjuring 2 (2016), Lights Out (2016) and Don't Breathe (2016). Arguably the scariest of the bunch however has to be The Witch which I saw at the very beginning of 2016. Deliberately paced, skillfully acted and freakishly tense, The Witch is a perfect example of what a good horror film ought to look and feel like. Nerve on the other hand was not a horror film. It was more of a stupidly light teen stalker-thriller whose sinister subtext made me scared for the future. The film takes its admittedly catchy premise and explores it in such a way that it destroys all hope I had for a democratic future where technology can empower and connect people. Thankfully such a message was not internalized by the viewing public. Bullet dodged.

Most Underrated Movies

Harlem Nights (1989) / Southpaw (2015)

Harlem Nights is certainly a misfire if you walked in expecting a comedy. The film starred Eddie Murphy, Richard Pryor and Redd Foxx so I can easily see how you could assume that. The film however should be viewed as a careful recreation of the Harlem Renaissance as told by people who had a stake in having that time period put on the screen. What results is a film that's not just vibrant and sporadically clever but dances on the edge of greatness. Southpaw likewise has a lot to offer if you come in with different expectations. Southpaw is less of a Raging Bull (1980) knock-off and more of a Set-Up (1949) meets Rocky (1976) flick with a heavy dose of Antoine Fuqua grittiness mixed in. What sets this movie apart however is Jake Gyllenhaal's impossibly good performance. Ignore the critics this time around and check this boxing movie out.

Most Overrated Movies

A Woman Under the Influence (1974) / Andrei Rublev (1966)

I'm sure at one point John Cassavettes's cinema verite style was shockingly different than the norm but by today's standards everything he does just feels old hat. Add to that Gena Rowlands's sheik-to-the-cheap-seats performance and A Woman Under the Influence winds up being an ambitious arthouse film with absolutely no contemporary appeal. And speaking of no contemporary appeal: Andrei Tarkovsky. I tried, and tried, and tried some more to appreciate his introspective style, but while like-minded directors like Ingmar Bergman and Robert Bresson make their points plain, Tarkovsky loves to obscure his meaning every chance he gets. What he turns in, in Andrei Rublev, is nothing short of a puzzle that can't be solved. Make that a 3 and a half hour puzzle that can't be f***ing solved.

Movies Most in Need of a Remake

Raintree County (1957) / Kill! (1968)

Raintree County was supposed to be a skillful Gone with the Wind (1939) knock-off but it ended up being a dry, rambling, ugly looking spectacle with nothing but a bad Elizabeth Taylor performance to act as connective tissue. Yet the story still has its moments. I think with a cast including Amy Adams as Susanna, Jennifer Lawrence as Nell and Chris Pratt as Flash and the whole thing might gel a little bit better. As for the part of Jack our underwhelming protagonist, I suppose you can give someone like Billy Crudup a chance at A-List glory. I think he has it in him, and that part would give him a soft landing.

With the success of The Magnificent Seven (2016) this year, audiences have shown that there's still a dim interest in westerns tangentially adapted from old samurai movies. So why not try adapting the Kurosawa inspired Kill!? The clever and tough-as-nails protagonist could be a good post-Captain America gambit for Chris Evans and Sharlto Copley would do wonders as the farmer-turned hired gun who butts heads with him. Plus since Kill! was partially a lampooning of samurai tropes, it makes sense the American adaptation would do the same for westerns. So why not plug in Kevin Costner and Ben Foster for good measure?