Thoughts from the Usher Podium: Quickie Haiku Reviews

Partially out of a desire for experimentation and partially out of a bad bout of writer's block, I have decided to write a few quick reviews written in haiku. The theme of the day is movies who were so sure they were going to win awards but for whatever reason the results of their Oscar campaign just went nowhere.

Prisoners (2013)

A tale of blind wrath.

Taut thriller, solid acting,

Too fraught with torture.

Final Grade: B

The Place Beyond the Pines (2012)

Moments of grandeur,

Multi-generational,

Yet oh so stagnant.

Final Grade: D+

All the King's Men (2006)

What were they thinking?

Deep fried corruption should work,

But man this thing stinks.

Final Grade: F

Dirty Pretty Things (2002)

Excellent somber,

Nigerian doctor lost,

In London's dark side

Final Grade: B

Men of Honor (2000)

Poor Cuba, can't win

Even with DeNiro there,

So many bad calls.

Final Grade: C-

Ronin (1998)

Fun and simple romp.

Reno outshines De Niro?

CIA no way!

Final Grade: C

Selena (1997)

Av'rage biopic

Lopez can act pretty well

But so what, I snooze

Final Grade: D

In the Company of Men (1997)

Mean-spirited gauche

Men are evil and stupid

Characters are foul

Final Grade: D+

Carrington (1995)

Brit wit nitwits love

Won at Cannes, lost by viewers,

Thompson's swell I guess.

Final Grade: D-

Newsies (1992)

Merry little scamps

The dancing is pretty cool,

Can't remember songs.

Final Grade: C+