Robocop

What the fuck is this shit?

Year: 2014 (USA)
Genre: Action/Sci-Fi Action
Directed: Jose Padilha
Stars: Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton, Abbie Cornish, Jackie Earle Haley, Michael K. Williams, Jennifer Ehle, Jay Baruchel, Marianne Jean-Baptiste, Samuel L. Jackson
Production: MGM

Robocop (2014) begins with Samuel L. Jackson yelling through the television set for what I’m assuming is an editorial news broadcast. He presents a world where warzones are under surveillance and “protection” via complex unmanned drones. These drones vary in size and function yet its clear from the get-go the people who deal with them daily aren’t exactly happy about it. We cut back to Jackson and his insistence that a Federal Law outlawing the use of drones for domestic policing and surveillance is a load of horse-pucky.

Next on Fox News, Hispanic teenagers are after your gold!

This is the backdrop that informs the rest of the story of this February's Robocop . The corporate giant Omnicorp and its CEO (Michael Keaton) wants the law repealed and sees putting a human face on a machine as the winning ticket. That’s when we’re introduced to beleaguered Detroit Police Department detective Alex Murphy (Joel Kinnaman), the victim of a car explosion set in motion by a ruthless capo and a group of corrupt cops.

May require assembly

The original 1987 movie directed by Paul Verhoeven didn't focus too much on the technology and its implications opting to make a stylized, ultra-violent opus that wore it’s satire on its sleeve. This new rendering however decides satire should take a backseat to semi-serious discussions on what it means to be truly human. Both Alex and his salvager Dr. Dennett Norton (Gary Oldman) lose pieces of themselves as Alex’s body is exploited for the sake of profit. Alex senses something is amiss but is guaranteed he has absolute freedom and control. Norton then explains that during combat Alex is given the illusion of freewill but in reality has no control of non-hesitant robotic husk.

You seriously think you can take me on?

All this quasi-philosophical stuff would be interesting if it weren't plopped on such a featureless film. First off Dr. Norton’s musings are apportioned not to give context but to fill in plot holes; never a good sign when you’re trying to make a larger social point or expand on a character's motives. Secondly, the main driving point of the film is continually undermined by scenes involving Keaton and his ilk fastidiously problem solving for the sake of their corporation’s survival. Placed in a context, what they do plays out as understandable not deplorable.

In the original movie Omnicorp was a downright villainous entity, gentrifying neighborhoods, dismantling public unions, covering up problems with boldfaced lies. They made the City of Detroit their home which was a dystopian nightmare so violent and dilapidated that it made Cleveland look good. In Robocop 2.14, the city is said to be violent but you can never tell by the various aerial shots of downtown all clean and nice looking (now we know where the special effects budget went). Not once was I convinced of Omnicorp’s evilness. Instead I almost sympathized with their venture. I fail to see how public opinion about drones would change when putting organics in the system; they’re in the market to produce robotics not make a bunch of Robocops.

Imagination Vs. Reality

If this movie is supposed to be anti-authoritarian, anti-big business and pro-human it missed its mark by a wide margin. Robocop is an efficient crime-fighter when not bogged down with pesky human emotions. When his human side does takes over he’s not only inhibited by his emotions, he becomes unjustifiably violent. The drones that Omnicorp builds are likewise efficient and safe as evidenced not only by the first scene involving a “red target” reporter but near the end when Alex’s former partner (Michael K. Williams) puts himself in the line of fire and remains unharmed. If I had to choose between having Robocop or a drone protecting me, within the context of the film, I’d choose the drone.

Not even the violence in this film is done right! The original had enough bloodletting to start a butcher shop. Joe Padilha was a laudable choice to direct given his experience with ultra-violence in his Elite Squad (2007-2010) films yet here everything seems sanitized and boring. I should have been tipped off by the PG-13 rating.

Not violent enough, not thoughtful enough, not anti-authoritarian enough, not satirical enough; that should be the tagline to this listless remake. It only serves to be a temporary respite for action-junkies long-awaiting summer blockbuster season and can’t possibly be the best Hollywood has to offer. There was a time not too long ago when the City of Detroit seriously considered erecting a statue downtown to commemorate Robocop (1987). While even I admit that idea is ridiculous, the fact that some found it plausible should give the studio responsible for this boring adaptation reason to pause. Have respect for the source material! It's all Detroit has left!

Final Grade: F