Thoughts From the Usher Podium: March Retrospective

Ah yes; the bleakness of winter is finally subsiding into the vibrant season of spring. The promise of merry sunshine coincidentally coincides with the release of Disney’s Frozen (2013) on DVD and Blu-Ray. The official date of the release was March 18, 2014 though the infernal movie about internal winter has been at my local Cineplex since November 19, 2013…wasn’t that about the time of the first snowfall? Maybe they should have had Elsa, Idina Menzel’s (Pronounced: I’di:nâ mεn’zεl) character burned at the stake after all. Maybe then we wouldn’t have had to deal with record breaking cold.

So to celebrate the coming of Spring I’m starting what will hopefully be a tradition. A retrospective of the films I’ve seen each month so those who are in need of a quick recommendation can scan through and find something. Plus considering how many movies I watch, even if I wrote a review a day I’d still be short.

March was not only the month of thawing snow; it was also the month of the Samurai as I delved into quite a few Japanese sword-adventures. My girlfriend, who has always been an anime fan, was introduced to Seven Samurai (1954) back in February thus beginning an obsession for all things Japanese. We sat down to watch Hiroshi Inagaki’s Samurai I: Musashi Miyamoto (1954) which we both found epic. By the end of the month we finished the trilogy with Samurai II: Duel at Ichijoji Temple (1955) and Samurai III: Duel at Ganryu Island (1956) respectively. I was personally a big fan of Samurai II which introduced a few new characters and expanded the importance of minor ones from the first film. The lady preferred the conclusion of the trilogy which just shows you how excellent the whole thing is. I also introduced her to the Zatoichi films (1962-1989) with Zatoichi on the Road (1963) which was met with less fanfare. Guess she has to start the 26 film series at the beginning instead of the 5^th film.

Other Japanese films we watched this month include Hayao Miyazaki’s last (maybe) film The Wind Rises (2013) which sadly did not get best animated feature (FROZEEEN!!! *shake fists). She also introduced me to Blue Submarine No. 6 (1998) an animated film which was just a reedited version of a Japanese TV show based on “The Island of Dr. Moreau”. Finally there’s The Living Skeleton (1968) a glorious ghost story from Criterion’s Eclipse Series 37: When Horror Came to Shochiku. The film is a Roger Corman-esque fantasy horror about a group of pirates haunted by the ghost of one of their raped and murdered victims. While a little over the top, the acting is quite good and for 1968 and no budget, the special effects are to die for.

Speaking of horror films: Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012). Wow, I’m so glad that series has run its course. I know I’m a little late to the necrophilia party but had I known the series as a whole was this bad I would have protested outside the theater. People protest over things that are morally unacceptable, I think its time people protest over things that are of unacceptable quality.

Fuck you Twilight

While we’re on the subject of bad quality, I might as well warn you of some other films that just aren’t worth a free download on alluc.org. Terrible movies for the month of March include: Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector (2006), Robot Monster (1953), Bad Taste (1987) and currently 35^th best movie in the history of the world Satantango (1994). Satantango is my limit when it comes to pretentious critically acclaimed art-house crappolla. For those who don’t know it’s a 7 hour movie about the denizens of a collective farm in Hungary just after the fall of communism. The movie is nothing but a series of long-takes many of which involve the slow lumbering physical movements of individuals sitting and staring off into the middle distance alone. It was a frustratingly static ode to boredom. Satantango is not intended for the normal viewing public, nor is it meant for even the most serious of cinephiles. The only people whom this movie is meant for are the people who could stomach to watch the whole Lord of the Rings Trilogy (2001-2003) in one sitting and are suicidal.

Highlight of the entire movie

Okay now onto the main event; the recommendations. The films that just might warm your heart, change your perspective, or otherwise move you. The most recent masterpiece I had the pleasure of watching in theaters is The Grand Budapest Hotel (2014) directed by Wes Anderson and starring everyone under the sun. I have said in the past that I was annoyed by Anderson’s fussy directorial style; at one point comparing his semidry and color scheming to that of a 70’s pornographer, but by now I have been completely won over by his mastery. Maybe I was too immature for his earlier work but the story of Grand Budapest mixes a variance of influences while also maintaining originality and surprising depth to its bittersweet yarn.

Why do I feel like I'm on the inside of a fire hydrant?

Other films seen in theaters include Mr. Peabody and Sherman (2014) and Muppets Most Wanted (2014) both of which were serviceable family films but was a little disappointing considering their original source materials. Comparatively speaking Mr. Peabody was a bit more of a success. Its source material was based off a five minute cartoon short from Rocky and his Films (1959), cheaply drawn for the Saturday morning set. Meanwhile the movie has a lot of things young children would appreciate like explosions, adventures and goofy humor. Muppets Most Wanted while entertaining and provided more gut-busting moments, was closer to the mold of Muppet Treasure Island (1996) than The Muppets (2011). Again, not bad, just not great.

If you’re looking for something in the western mold you may want to look for the pulpy Find a Place to Die (1968) starring Jeffrey Hunter. The film surrounds a geologist killed for his goldmine and a sister who recruits hired guns to get the gold back. Then there’s the pairing of two spaghetti western legends Sartana (Aleberto Dell’Acqua) and Trinity (Harry Baird) in Trinity and Sartana Are Coming (1972) both male leads have had separate franchises and come together Zatoichi Meets Yojimbo (1970) style.

Not a western fan? How about absurdist comedy/drama; I sat down to enjoy three Luis Bunuel films this month all of which are excellent. I re-watched The Exterminating Angel (1962) for my girlfriend’s benefit then discovered my new favorite Bunuel Belle de Jour (1967). The film is about a bored housewife who takes a job as a prostitute at a high class Paris brothel. Steamy, sensual and very revealing of human peculiarities Belle de Jour may well be the influence of movies as varied as Eyes Wide Shut (1999) and Secretary (2002). The other Bunuel film that washed over me was the Palme d’Or winner Viridiana (1961) which despite a straightforward plot wasn’t without its absurdities. The film at its heart is a character study while also excising hypocrisy in religious institutions. The story of a nun (Silvia Pinal) questioning her faith brings to mind the subversive Black Narcissus (1947) by Michael Powell.

Very Hitchcockian

If you’re interested in going further back in the past to unearth some real treats you might want to try Journey to the Center of the Earth (1959) starring Richard Burton and Pat Boone. Is it sacrilege to prefer the new one starring none other than Brendan Fraser? Probably, but in a movie based on spectacle, the original just doesn’t have believable special effects; even if they are ingenious at times. Best Picture winner Rebecca (1940) was pretty good. It hinted at a possible lesbian relationship between the former lady of the house and her maid but ultimately the movie doesn’t really hold a torch to other Hitchcock films like Rear Window (1954), Psycho (1960) and Dial M for Murder (1954). A slightly older but nonetheless excellent rental choice would be the bittersweet film Make Way for Tomorrow (1937). In his acceptance speech for best director for The Awful Truth (1937), Leo McCarey informed the audience they had awarded him for the wrong movie. While I have never seen The Awful Truth, I’m going to go out on a limb and say he’s probably right.

Biggest pleasant surprise was the film Cats Don’t Dance (1997), an animated musical with a score provided by Randy Newman. I was expecting something along the lines of A Troll in Central Park (1994) but wound up with something closer to The Secret of Kells (2009). It’s got its faults but still provides colorful entertainment. Biggest disappointment was probably The Wind Will Carry Us (1999) directed by the great Abbas Kiarostami. While it’s got its moments of humanistic integrity, the film ultimately succumbs to the most common problem in art-house films; it’s boring. Maybe you can find something to enjoy and I won’t fault you for it, it just wasn’t for me.



Why yes officer I got my ID right here

Of course if you’re looking for recent films i.e. movies you’ll actually find at the video store (if they still exist), you might want to start with last year’s Enough Said (2013). While not particularly groundbreaking the easy chemistry between the characters and the splendid acting by Julia Louis-Dreyfus and the late great James Gandolfini makes the movie worth it. Some other recent releases worth a look include the Scottish import The Angels’ Share (2012) about a group of misfits, one of which has a talent for tasting and identifying quality whiskey. They enter into the world of fine whiskey distillation and collecting in the hopes of picking themselves up from poverty. Not as recent but still worth its runtime is Kingdom of Heaven (2005) directed by Ridley Scott. It stars Orlando Bloom as a crusader who is caught in the cloak and dagger conspiracies of medieval Jerusalem.

Finally I want to mention Cloud Atlas (2012). I appreciate films that reach for the sky and challenge our worldviews and Cloud Atlas certainly accomplishes that while being visually gorgeous. Its not so much one movie as it is an upwards of six. Still all the mini-stories for the most part hit their marks and work pretty well. Check it out if you have a chance.