The Adventures of Tintin

Year: 2011
Genre: Animated Adventure
Directed: Steven Spielberg
Stars: Jamie Bell, Andy Serkis, Daniel Craig, Nick Frost, Simon Pegg, Daniel Mays, Gad Elmaleh, Toby Jones, Enn Reitel, Mackenzie Crook, Tony Curran, Sonje Fortag, Cary Elwes
Production: Amblin Entertainment

Steven Spielberg and Peter Jackson teamed up to produce what was supposed to be the greatest adventure tale since Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981). Instead they have produced a 130 million dollar albatross that will likely hang around their necks for years to come.

Perhaps I'm exaggerating. Perhaps I'm too sensitive to the fact that a childhood hero like Spielberg is capable of churning out such mediocre fare. Perhaps its just sour grapes that talented scribes like Joe Cornish, Steven Moffat and Edgar Wright fumbled on a comic book adaptation that can write itself with the amount of mythology embedded in it. Perhaps I'm overreacting to the fact that the directors of Schindler's List (1993) and Lord of the Rings (2001-2003) produced a bloated spectacle in Zemeckis-vision whose plot can be surmised in four words (those words are 'Tintin searches for treasure' by the way).

Another example of Zemeckis-vision

The story intertwines the lives of a dull protagonist (Bell), his intelligent dog a drunken sea captain (Serkis) and an evil ne'er-do-well with a 150-year-old family grudge (Craig), all looking for hidden treasure in a paint-by-numbers adventure. The cast then participate in a series of increasingly elaborate and admittedly dazzling action set-pieces to find their elusive macguffin. That's basically it. There's no B-story, moral or point. After a ten minute setup, the film is essentially one big long car chase only with boats, planes, and motorcycles in addition to cars.

Seriously, what the hell is up with this?

This is not to say it isn't exciting. If that's all you're looking for in a film Tintin is a perfect little treat for kids and adult alike who don't want to think too hard. Spielberg's technical talents are on full display but amount to nothing when compared to this ditzy showboat of a movie. For those of us craving a little more meat on the bone, this film will bring out your inner cynic, right down to last few sequel-baiting minutes.

Ugh!

Final Grade: F