Zombie Strippers

Year: 2008
Genre: Horror
Directed: Jay Lee
Stars: Jenna Jameson, Robert Englund, Roxy Englund, Roxy Saint, Penny Vital, Whitney Anderson, Jennifer Holland, Shamron Holland, Jeanette Sousa, Carmit Levite, Johnny Hawkes, Brad Milne
Production: Stage 6 Films

I saw that particularly rancid piece of gutter trash only recently and their are simply no words to describe its awfulness. I'm serious! I can go through the gambit: horrible, detestable, loathsome, revolting, abominable, inconceivable, no word exists in the English language that can accurately describe such a war crime against cinema.

Seriously, WTF!!!

And I came in with no expectations. No positive ones at least. I don't know how the movie did it but it didn't even meet my exceedingly low expectations. If this movie was a food it be lutefisk with a side of brussel sprouts, if it were a real person it'd be Hitler and Stalin's love child, if it were a depth in the ocean only James Cameron would have seen it. This movie's complete polar opposite is the cure for cancer.

But I digress, let me give you a description: After a crack team of soldiers kills a laboratory full of zombies, one manages to escape. He stumbles into a strip club and infects the ladies who develop an unquenchable bloodlust...and the need to strip. Realizing that his clientele have a ludicrous attraction to bloodied and decomposing body parts, the club owner (Englund) decides to keep them around seemingly unaware of the problems they'll likely cause. I kid you not that's the plot.

Co-starring Jenna Jameson and a hodge-podge of who cares, this movie fails on all levels. Now by this point some of you may be saying "awesome, this movie sounds like its so bad its good!" Let me be clear; there is so bad its good, so bad its bad, 12 feet of raw sewage and then this. I would not recommend this to my worst enemies and I absolutely do not recommend it to you. This is Ark of the Covenant type stuff; avoid with prejudice.

Final Grade: FFFFFFFF!!!!!!!!