Power Rangers

Year: 2017
Genre: Action
Directed: Dean Israelite
Stars: Dacre Montgomery, Naomi Scott, RJ Cyler, Ludi Lin, Becky G., Elizabeth Banks, Bryan Cranston, Bill Hader, Matt Shively, Cody Kearsley, David Denman, Robert Moloney, Anjali Jay
Production: Lionsgate

Guess its time to whip out your old Tamagotchi and listen to whatever Marcy Playground song you've recorded on your Tiger Talkboy when you were six; because the nineties are back! Don't believe me, just check out the newest blockbuster film that's about to hit your multiplex with the force of a speeding Bronco. Yes the Mighty Morphing Power Rangers are back and this time instead of importing stock footage from some cheap Japanese superhero show, this brooding, edgier version is importing cliches from every American superhero film from the last fifteen years.

Just how much edgier is this new movie? Well the story begins with three of the five soon-to-be Rangers spending their Saturdays in detention so already they're more irascible than Bulk and Skull. They're also about half as much fun as evidenced after our five teenagers with attitude meet up, discover their multi-colored power coins and proceed to stare at each other in confusion. This lasts an entire act and throughout we're only given the archetypal outlines of our heroes to play with. There's the bland Red leader (Montgomery), the Yellow outsider (G.), the Black bad boy (Lin) and the Pink Ranger (Scott) who seems to think cutting her hair on a whim doesn't make her the personification of mayonnaise.

Then of course there's Billy (Cyler), the Blue Ranger. He's on the spectrum; you can tell because he outright says he's "on the spectrum." While this could have been a good moment to truly act upon the TV show's (1993-1995) phoned-in anti-bully, inclusion-based "the more you know," pablum, the movie basically just uses him as a narrative building block. That's of course when they're not also using the Blue Ranger as a tonally embarrassing point of mirth for the sake of undermining the gritty tone. Considering that his autism is boiled down to a running joke, its a miracle RJ Cyler comes across as sincere as he does. Every time the ensemble tries to elevate him as the movie's heartfelt center, you really want to believe it's sincerity, even if it feels counterfeit.

Its that faux sincerity and the nostalgia that will no doubt sell long-time fans on this new film. As much as the reboot wobbles between seriousness and silliness, the fact that there is an appearance of a center of mass, means that there's just enough here for audiences to trick themselves into thinking they saw the best version they possibly could have made. It makes a kind of sense; how can you really make a realistic movie about children gaining superpowers through alien technology to fight evil?

No, no Power Rangers!

While I don't agree with the premise of the question (I mean, does it really need to be realistic?), I also don't think the answer is to wait until the very end to introduce the franchises sillier minutia. Especially when the directing and editing would make anyone with eyeballs want to spin them back into their head. It's not Fantastic Four (2014)-level bad, but the fact that I'm bringing up that film in the same breath as this one, is evidence their both are in the same ball park and both need to answer for the millions of dollars wasted. I mean come on, the best part about this mess is the slovenly fight choreography which could have been done with a couple of costumes and a million yen.

Focus on the Zords, just focus on the Zords (rocks back and forth)

It's hard to say Power Rangers (sponsored by Krispy Kreme) is the latest victim in franchise co-oping by greedy executives, short-sighted PR experts and story-arcs by committee. While Spider-Man fans and Batman fans could argue their IP's came from some nebulous notion of artistry over commerce, Power Rangers has been a cheaply cobbled cash grab pretty much from inception. In that regard the fact that this film has any semblance of sincerity is a minor miracle. If you got to see it, focus on that and that alone. Go, go mediocrity.

Final Grade: D