Dinner with Friends Part 1: Cooking with Pam

This week definitely could be going better but I'm grateful for all the positive things that have transpired thus far. I'll try not to dwell on the bad and instead focus on the positive, specifically one night of joy spent hanging with my close friend Pam.

I stated last post that I enjoy cooking especially for people. It's one of the few things in my life that I feel puts me on the nexus between expectation, reality, giving and selfishness. I'm pretty good at it, which means what I cook meets my expectations while exceeding the expectations of those around me. I like to be giving; to maintain the positive relationships I have garnered over the last few years. Though in my heart of hearts I also know I can be pretty selfish too. That's why cooking is so great! It means not only do I get to give something to someone but I get to eat too! It's a win, win, win, stroke the ego, hone the skill, play the nice.

In that spirit, I decided to cook for Pam this week. Pam is a fifth grade school teacher about to throw herself in the predictable but nevertheless excruciating maws of the upcoming school year. I saw her struggle pretty hard last year; a teacher's mood and tenor is as predictable as weather in that it varies from day to day but there are defined, easily predictable seasons.

Beginning of the school year, things are not that bad. She's setting the expectations for the year ahead and prepping mostly the heady parts of curriculum a la state science standards, historical themes, writing and arithmetic goals etc. Of course all that is going to go to hell by the middle of the school year but nevertheless it's something she takes joy in doing.

So I caught her in a good mood when I decided to come over and cook Spaghetti Aglio e Olio my absolute favorite weekday dish. I tossed the spaghetti in sweated garlic, basil, red pepper flakes and olive oil, making sure to get a little of the salted pasta water in the pan to let it all congeal. Pam has a little herb patch on her balcony and the fresh basil made all the difference. I served it with Panko breaded chicken seasoned in garlic salt, black pepper and romano cheese and slow baked in a pan with garlic and lemon. We also quickly microwaved some sweet corn. In my haste to get everything together I once again gave the veggies the short shrift.

Halfway through the cooking process, Pam suggested we watch Death to Smoochy (2002), a Robin Williams and Edward Norton vehicle and shared guilty pleasure. The film has Norton play Smoochy, a squeaky clean rube who fast-tracks through the seedy underbelly of kids television as corrupted forces conspire to end his career and life. Robin Williams co-stars as Rainbow Randolph, his rival who's fanaticism comes off like a cartoon villain. It's not a "good" movie but it is virtually the only movie of its kind. Honestly when it comes to black humor inserted into kids television, I think only Brigsby Bear comes close but that one's a lot more inspirational. Death to Smoochy is just grimy and cruel...which makes it a lot of fun.

Between cooking and the movie Pam and I talked a lot about her kids and how so far, they haven't been acting up in the class room. She's been teaching for four years and claims to have mastered the "silent scold". In other words, she has the ability to confront students about their behavior problems without necessarily succumbing to yelling and screaming. She juxtaposed her reactions to her new kids with that of a couple of recess monitors who, let's just say, were not setting good examples. Can you believe kids, at least the kids in her school, only get twenty minutes of recess?! That's not even a full episode of Friends, how the hell are they supposed to get all that excess energy out; how are they supposed to be, you know, kids?!

I mostly delved into my depression when I spoke (I know fun conversation to have). That and the pain that I've still been experiencing from my training. I don't like this hiatus from running and I am scared stiff of what's to come next month if I can't get it together. Pam was attentive as she could be. I could be wrong but I think teachers are at least somewhat trained on how to identify mental illness and how to patch it all up in the moment for the sake of getting their work done. While I don't think Pam has the benefit of lived-in experience (I'm not aware of depression or anxiety in her family), she knows enough not to fall for common misconceptions and cliches (just cheer up, fake till you make it etc.).

Overall the evening was nice - she suggested a foot rub which I declined at first as we have a bit of a complicated history when it comes to intimacy. She of course knew I'd give in but her victory was short lived as I really was in a lot of physical discomfort and screamed in pain. Pam was kind enough to drive me home after dinner. She kept the leftovers and I went home to digest. The next morning my feet felt worse but I still hobbled to work then hobbled back home. After hours of elevating my legs, I was able to actually go out and write in a nearby bar. It was peaceful.