Gods of Egypt

Year: 2016
Genre: Action Adventure
Director: Alex Proyas
Stars: Brenton Thwaites, Nikolaj Coster-Waldau, Gerard Butler, Geoffrey Rush, Courtney Eaton, Elodie Yung, Bryan Brown, Chadwick Boseman, Rufus Sewell
Production: Summit Entertainment

The entire film industry has always had a fascination with sword-and-sandal action adventures. They're like the Velvet Underground of movie subgenres, they may never be popular in their own time but they inspire countless film professionals with their bountiful style, unorthodox special effects and simple but effective story-lines. Where would the world of special effects be without Ray Harryhausen's work on Jason and the Argonauts (1963)? Would we know the name Sergio Leone without the famed director first cutting his teeth on the peplum film The Last Days of Pompeii (1959)? I dare not put the ghastly Gods of Egypt in the same category as Conan the Barbarian (1982) or Clash of the Titans (1981) but I do put it a head above the 2010 remake of Clash of the Titans.

Gods of Egypt? More like Escape from Thebes

Mortal thief Bek (Thwaites) and his love Zaya (Eaton) are thrusted into a web of palace intrigue after benevolent God Osiris (Brown) is struck down by his brother Set (Butler) in a public display of brutality meant to keep mortals and other Gods in line. Osiris's son Horus (Coster-Waldau) attempts to take vengeance but his magical eyes are plucked from his skull and he's banished. Bek steals one of the eyes from Set's newly constructed vault thus turning the wheels of the plot, ultimately resulting in a rematch between Horus and his uncle.

As garish as the sets are and as conspicuous as the computer generated effects may be, the movie is not without its inner-logic which works if you forgive some minor missteps. The characters are weak and uninspired but they all have perfectly respectable character arcs. What's more the precious moments of mirth are genuine in a cheesy Flash Gordon (1980) kind of way. The first act borders on self-parody and the last act is a-clutter with mindless action yet in-spite of all this, I think I caught myself actually enjoying the movie a few times. Yes, believe it or not Gods of Egypt is not entirely irredeemable.

You say "over-reliance on cheap CGI like it's a bad thing 

Don't get me wrong; it's goofy, it's dumb and it's loud; it's whitewashed to the point of cultural insensitivity, and it surrenders to some occasionally unsettling themes but none of these factors are important when faced with the film's endgame; it's here to entertain, that's it. With a bar set that low, it's easy to find a lot to like. Those with a thirst for blood and sinew will be glad to know that despite a PG-13 rating, the film showcases a lot of gleeful violence and action. They get away with it only because the blood of the Gods is gold not red. I personally enjoyed the application of certain Ancient Egyptian mythology, especially moments involving Ra (Rush), the granddaddy of the Gods, pulling the sun across the sky in his celestial catamaran.

THIS IS GIZA!!!!!

Gods of Egypt cannot compare to the middling mythological epics of Italy circa 1950's. Heck, it can even compare to 300 (2006) which provided the template for so many of these goof-ball celebrations of male bravado. Director Alex Proyas knows the script for Gods of Egypt isn't exactly Shakespeare and maximizes all the points of entertainment while still telling a cogent tale. The results are crude but effective.

Final Grade: C-