Silent Hill

Year: 2006
Genre: Horror
Directed: Christophe Gans
Stars: Radha Mitchell, Sean Bean, Laurie Holden, Deborah Kara Unger, Kim Coates, Tanya Allen, Alice Krige, Jodelle Ferland
Production: Silent Hill DCP Inc.

Betwixt the foggy mountains of West Virginia lies the small ghost town of Silent Hill, a hamlet where ash falls like snow, secrets lie buried, and plot holes materialize like tortured hell-spawn. The story starts ambiguously enough; a pair of doting parents search frantically for their sleepwalking daughter (Ferland). Once she is found, the story fast-forwards to the mother (Mitchell) driving her daughter to West Virginia, unbeknownst to the father (Bean). When stopped by a motorcycle cop (Holden) on the way to the titular town, mother puts the petal to the metal driving with reckless abandon towards their destination. Why the dramatics? Why isn't the husband with them? Haven't they heard of childproof locks? Who knows. Once dear ol' mother gets to the town and daughter disappears, strange, scary, and gratuitously gory things start to happen.

Ta-Da!

Silent Hill the video game is partially based on the real life ghost town of Centralia, PA where the town's coal mine was ignited in a fire and still smolders today; former residents described it as "a living hell." In all honestly I doubt there is better inspiration out there for a prime horror movie so I was puzzled and dismayed to see such a middling movie. Perhaps it was the asinine dialogue which only delineated from the usual moans and screams to explain the questionable logistics of the plot (which was like putting a square peg through a circular hole). Or perhaps it was the special-effects which ranged from superb to laughable. Or maybe it was the lack of restraint on the part of the filmmakers. You can be scary without being gross guys, and I can think of two examples (which I won't divulge here) where they probably should have pointed the camera the other way.

If you're a fan of the video game or a gore connoisseur in general you might find something to like in this wicked carnival ride. Maybe you'll appreciate the cavalcade of odd creatures that populate the screen or the soundtrack which was supposedly lifted from the game. But if you're one of those people who can't just shut off their brains to watch a movie, I recommend watching something a lot more stimulating.

Final Grade: F