Thoughts from the Usher Podium: Quickie Haiku Reviews III

This Haiku Review article is dedicated to the critics. They watch way more movies than the general public and bless them for it. Many times they'll sit through a crappy movie just so you don't have to. Other times they watch what they consider to be gold and no one, and I mean no one shows up to check them out. So here's a second chance for these films. Below are Haiku Reviews of semi-recent "Critical Favorites" that no one watched.

Rocket Science (2007)

So painful to watch.

Kid with speech impediment,

Loses a debate.

Final Grade: F

Rabbit-Proof Fence (2002)

Aborigines,

Fight system to get back home.

Strong, if low budget.

Final Grade: C+

Broken Flowers (2005)

Bill Murray is God!

Understated performance,

Still one of his best.

Final Grade: A-

A Girl Walks Home Alone at Night (2014)

Female vampire loves,

An Iranian badboy.

It's Twilight done well.

Final Grade: B

The Dish (2000)

Australian scrubs,

Try to send signals moonward

Apollo and sheep.

Final Grade: C

Cedar Rapids (2012)

Ed Helms plays naive,

Finds himself in Big City.

Small town, small minded.

Final Grade: C

The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada (2005)

Long title, great flick.

Ranch hand buries a friend thrice

Because Texas bites. 

Final Grade: B-

Belle (2013)

The young mixed daughter,

Of a rich British royal,

Rails against bondage.

Final Grade: C+

Rosencrantz and Guildstern are Dead (1990)

Based on a stage play,

Of a stage play done poorly.

Guess what, it's stage-y

Final Grade: D

The Double (2013)

Kafkaesque and droll

Man finds a double who is,

Way better than he.

Final Grade: B