Fist Fight

Year: 2017

Genre: Comedy:

Directed: Richie Keen

Stars: Charlie Day, Ice Cube, Tracy Morgan, Jillian Bell, Dean Norris, Christina Hendricks, Kumail Nanjiani, Dennis Haysbert, Gordon Danniels, JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Alexa Nisenson, Stephnie Weir, Austin Zajur

Production: New Line Cinema

Here we go again; another slapdash, barely functional comedy made blithely mediocre by the passable charms of its leads. We're given the bare essentials; a hero, a villain, a time-clock, wacky pranks, overlong periods of improv etc. and are strapped in for the film's predictable beats of lazy, lazy hijinks. At this point are we even surprised by this s**t anymore? Do mainstream audiences even notice that modern comedies have become hollowed out husks bereft of any larger social value? Well, at least this one's short.

Two teachers working at a struggling high school are put at odds when the sheepish Mr. Campbell (Day) tattles on the hotheaded Mr. Strickland (Cube) for destroying a student's desk in a fit of rage. Strickland then challenges Campbell, the self-described "nice guy" to a fist fight behind the school in an effort to teach him a valuable lesson about snitching.

*Spoiler alert, they get stitches.*

The entire tale takes place over the course of the very last day of school where the stakes are brought artificially higher by the schools looming budget cuts. To artificially prop up the humor, Strickland and Campbell's beef is being constantly interrupted by elaborate, mean-spirited and at times dangerous stunts on the part of the student body. "Everything in this office is glued to something else," says Principal Tyler (Norris) in a moment of enervation. Between all the exploding paint cans, galloping horses and public masturbation I can understand his frustration. "I don't know why they never put this kind of effort into their schoolwork," muses Campbell.

Perhaps, and I don't know, I'm really just spitballing here; the students would have more direction if their teachers remotely resembled the working professionals that actually exist in the field today. Campbell darts off in half of his scenes to whine to the drug-addled guidance counselor (Bell) and the incompetent PE teacher Mr. Crawford (Morgan) about the upcoming fight. The other half of the time he's trying and failing to stop the brawl going so far as to bribe a student with a MacBook Pro. He also tries to plant drugs, makes 911 calls from the rooftop, weasels his way into finding a surrogate and even stoops so low as to actually trying to reason with his foe.

Yup, movies are really good at justifying teacher raises...

These characters would otherwise be excruciatingly repugnant if not for the fact that they're played so broadly that they hardly resemble humans. Charlie Day scampers around like a chihuahua on Red Bull amassing enough anxiety about coming face to face with Ice Cube to die of a coronary. When the film is in light and fluffy farce mode, the character kind of works in a Joe Somebody (2001) meets Loony Tunes kind of way. Unfortunately Fist Fight makes the fatal mistake of thinking it has something important to say about education.

None of the other teachers fair much better either. They fill their paltry roles as the butt of one or two jokes made to pass the time. Hendrick's Ms. Monet exists solely to be femme fatale with an axe to grind for no real good reason. Meanwhile Jillian Bell's total lack of inhibitions at first gets the biggest laughs but becomes increasingly bizarre. There's another teacher whose sole purpose is to leave rooms at the perfect moment for a pratfall and the less we say about Tracy Morgan, the better. Finally there's Ice Cube himself who explodes with furious, preposterous anger at the slightest provocation. Between all these nincompoops bouncing off each other with reckless abandon, I found myself asking when does anyone actually teach?

Literally the exact same jokes!

If there's one shimmering gleam of hope in this preposterous movie it's Kumail Nanjiani whose all to brief moments as the school's resident security guard effortlessly fluxes between misplaced bravado and cowardly quips. Additionally, a few of the stale, predictable jokes and broad characterizations do manage to coax a giggle or two. Since much of the heavy lifting is done by Day and Cube, two very different but equally deft comedic talents, it's impossible not to find a least some of their shenanigans kinda funny.

Unfortunately the movie itself is about as phoned-in and forgetful as a (remember to place a quippy simile here). It's obvious, low-rent humor that coaxes more eye-rolls at the expense of teachers than genuine laughs. To be honest if not for Charlie Day, Ice Cube and Kumail Nanjiani this thing wouldn't even be worth writing about.

Final Grade: D+