The Space Between Us

Year: 2017
Genre: Drama
Directed: Peter Chelsom
Stars: Asa Butterfield, Britt Robertson, Gary Oldman, Carla Gugino, Janet Montgomery, BD Wong, Lauren Myers, Luce Rains, Peter Chelsom, Colin Egglesfield, Adande 'Swoozie' Thorne, Scott Takeda
Production: STX Entertainment

"What is your favorite thing about earth?" Asa Butterfield repeats his naive prompt throughout the film like he's the guileless test subject of a viral campaign. And as luck would have it he is; in addition to being the poster child for Ford, Sam's Club, Dream Chaser and Cicret Bracelets. "Dreaming" responds a minor character. A good answer, anyone with any understanding of plot could have dreamed up a better movie in their sleep.

Brought to you by Carl's Jr.

The Space Between Us uses theoretical interplanetary settlement as a jumping off point for earthbound romance. Our protagonist Gardner (Butterfield) is the very first human born on Mars. His birth on the red planet is seen by the powers that be as a potential PR nightmare. That in conjunction with Gardner's Martian physiology necessitates a sixteen year coverup resulting in a young boy raised by scientists and socialized by movies and books. Fortunately the same company that was cruel enough to keep Gardner on Mars, agrees to bring him back. Gardner is elated, partially because he'll finally be able to experience this beautiful blue marble of ours, but also so he can finally meet Tulsa (Robertson), a girl he's kindled a friendship with.

Why did you have to remind me of this s**t?

As with last years Collateral Beauty (2016), also written by Allan Loeb, The Space Between Us noticeably sidesteps any serious moral questions and instead pumps enough sugar into this thing to kill a horse. Gary Oldman is cast as a Richard Branson-type space entrepreneur whose scenes with BD Wong and Carla Gugino could have yielded earned insights but instead all of his shrieking becomes tangled in pointless plot reveals that at best provide a time clock and at worst make no sense.

But hey, I get it, if The Space Between Us wants to be nothing more than A Walk to Remember (2002) in space fine. Never mind that the science is shabbily researched, and the editing makes the finished product resemble Swiss cheese. So long as the film has something worthwhile to say, the prime demographic can walk away with their heads held high, knowing they watched something passable.

Alas the film not only doesn't deliver on the very fundamental functions of storytelling, it downright s**ts on those fundamentals to justify its own existence. "If people just walked around saying what they felt, who knows, the whole world might wind up happy!" Tulsa says in the throws of a insolent fit. The scene isn't meant to justify a budding relationship between our two adolescent runaways but instead feels like the screenwriter is trying to justify his own shoddy work. He's pretty much saying, "yeah these characters are unreal but at least they can be happy!"

(barf)

Fact is, if you're not immediately won over by The Space Between Us's saccharine unearned romanticism you'll be rolling your eyes to the point of induce nausea. If however you find Butterfield's Frankenstein Monster walk or Britt Robertson's tough-cookie act somehow appealing then maybe you can still have a good night filled with giddy unintentional hilarity. As for me, my favorite part about earth right now is the fact that I only ever have to watch this crap once.

Final Grade: F