Chapter 20: Hey...Don't be a Dick

If movies have taught me anything its that crappy people will eventually get what's coming to them. Sure that lesson may not be true 100% of the time; or 50% of the time or 25%, and its not like you'll be around to see them get their comeuppance anyway, but if there is one lesson that is destructively reenforced through media and casually accepted by the public its that karma is real! And real it must be because how else could you explain the bankers responsible for the 2008 economic collapse being put in jail or Jersey Shore being cancelled after only one season...okay so maybe karma is a bunch of BS but wouldn't it be nice? I mean, if supervillains nearly always end up falling into a badly placed lava pit in their self-destructing volcano hideout it only makes sense the same thing happens when some dillweed is texting in a crowded movie theater.

The reality however is no, that guy who screamed at me over the condition of his fries at work then asked for an extra hotdog "for his time" is not going to fall into a helicopter blade anytime soon. Nor is the jerk who burned your fries for that matter. Chances are after you walk away that douche is going to keep on being a douche until they finally keel over; likely at a ripe old age, in the comfort of a hospital bed among caring friends and family. Meanwhile you'll likely get an ulcer from harboring animosity and amassing homicidal thoughts towards anyone who slights you. Believe me, I know its hard but sometimes you just have to let it go.

Speaking of getting exactly what you deserve and homicidal thoughts; Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)! It was only the latest movie to be crossed off the list and one of three movies I have seen in the past couple of days. The others were Run Silent Run Deep (1958) and Starman (1984) both of which were good. Run Silent Run Deep in particular was very well made considering it was released more than 50 years ago but Frankenstein is the film I want to discuss here.Now aside from Young Frankenstein (1974), I have never actually seen a movie based on the titular doctor. I have never seen the 1931 Boris Karloff version nor Andy Warhol's 1973 adaptation. In fact, I have never even read the novel. Yet the mythos of the character is so ingrained in our culture that the story is known by almost all. Dr. Frankenstein, a gifted but brash scientist digs up an assemblage of body parts and reanimates them to create a monster he regrets.

In this adaptation, The story is told by Dr. Frankenstein (Kenneth Branagh) to Captain Walton (Aidan Quinn), a man looking to make a name for himself by reaching the North Pole. Frankenstein's major impetus for creating life after death stems from the death of his mother giving birth to his younger brother and his major love interest is his adopted sister Elizabeth (Helena Bonham Carter). My guess is family is important to him.

While in medical school he befriends a young medical student named Henry (Tom Hulce) and professor Waldman (John Cleese) with similar fascinations with "alternative medicine". Waldman warns Frankenstein not to venture further down the rabbit-hole but of course he does and nearly dies of exhaustion attempting to bring his experiments to reality. Once the monster (Robert De Niro) is brought to life, the doctor balks at his experiment and immediately regrets everything he has worked for. The monster however wonders away carrying with it the doctor's journal so naturally the only logical thing to do would be to just forget all about it.

Naturally, as with virtually all movies, the bad guy gets his just desserts and we all learn an important lesson on the folly of scientific exploration and achievement. You heard me, the folly of scientific exploration; because progress is an incredible evil that must be stopped or else risk unleashing horrible monsters that will inherit the earth. Its not like Frankenstein could have done a few things differently like have a protocol for destroying the monster then studying it to find where he went wrong. Or failing that he could have always locked the door to make sure his monster doesn't escape.

Not that anything really went wrong to begin with. The monster was capable of cognitive thought and motor skills, could speak, read, write and play the flute. It didn't perform "Puttin' On the Ritz" but had the song been around in the 1700's I bet he could sing it. Additionally, at the beginning of his second life, he was capable of kindness, mercy, and sympathy. The only bad thing about the monster was his ugly mug. For that reason the good doctor gave up on his project, lamented over what a terrible thing he has done and collapsed sobbing on his pillow like a girl who wasn't asked to the prom. Question: You made your creature out of random decaying body parts, did you expect it to look like Megan Fox?The rest of the story follows the monster who wonders around for a while before he begins to plot his revenge against the doctor with relentless flair. Frankenstein meanwhile gets caught up in period-piece melodrama complete with lavish sets, high society gatherings and Ian Holm. Eventually things turn tragic then just plain gory and at the end of the tale, Captain Walton turns his ship around so he may live to be brazen another day.

To be fair the main message of Frankenstein has been around for ages. The Matrix and Terminator imagine worlds where our hubris creates machines that take over the world. A much better (and underrated) adaptation of the story, Splice (2009) involves a similar creation who is begotten by two impertinent scientists who look to achieve practical purposes like curing disease. Conquering death does have its practical purposes I guess but hypothesizing "in order to cure death we must create life," is like saying in order to stop war we need to build better weapons. Furthermore the psychology of the creature and the scientists involved are important factors in the decision making processes in Splice. Frankenstein leaves many of those nuances unexplored leaving you with a good looking movie that seems too frazzled to be impacting.

Honestly I think the dangers of technological and biological advancement are far outweighed by their benefits and if you read a little deeper into movies like Frankenstein you would realize that the lesson isn't necessarily technology is bad but that hubris, if left unchecked can destroy all the inherent benefits of any scientific discovery. In other words, don't be a dick.