Chapter 1: Purgatory

Fourth year lit professors will often tell you, you got to write what you know. Not to dissuade universities from giving them tenure but that's not the smartest advice I've heard. If that was the dominant school of thought for the ages we'd have no Homer, Jules Verne or Harry Potter. What would a college grad know about life let alone how to write about it? Still, that mantra isn't without its solipsistic charm and since I am pretty full of myself, I'll indulge the inclination.

I know very little about life, love or happiness. Well, one out of three ain't bad. I have love in my life in the form of my long suffering girlfriend Danni. Danni is basically like the love interest in Up (2008) except without the balloon fetish. Kind, funny and full of life, she's everything you would ever need in a partner. She has an indelible free spirit who can be coaxed into a night of exotic Indian food or a cross-country road trip at a moments notice. One thing I know for sure, she makes life worth living.

Most of the other things I know mostly pertain to movies. No, not things like set design, editing, sound mixing or other practical skills and know-how. Such things are far too pedantic for a movie theater usher making just north of minimum wage! However, if you ask me on the street about a movie I'll likely know who's in it, who made it and the year it was made (within a five year margin). I may even be able to tell you if it has or will win any awards. Over the past twenty-three years I have collected 235 DVDs and watched 2900 movies. What many see as an affable way to spend a few hours I see as a mission: I must watch as many movies as I can within my lifetime. Don't ask me to explain it, I just do.

What I can decipher from my obsession is it started early. I grew up overseas, constantly moving from country to country for my parent's work. To answer some lingering questions no not everyone else in the world lives in a grass hut, some huts are made of brick and mortar and look remarkably like houses. When my parents and I came to the United States for some R&R, we would raid the local multiplex to watch the latest feature that wouldn't come to our host country for months if at all.

The first cinema experience I can recall was watching The Lion King (1994). Even at a young age I was moved to tears when Mufasa was crushed by a herd of wildebeests. I laughed frantically at the antics of Timon and Pumba and even felt something when Simba and Nala reunited for the first time in years; the nuances of lion sex however were beyond me back then.

My first memorable rental experience was the movie Predator (1987). I must have been around six and my brothers were less inclined to block my eyes and ears from danger than my parents were. They watched Predator with me peering from behind the sofa. According to my brothers I would later watch the Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle and 1994's Speed over a hundred times while constructing an assortment of increasingly elaborate pillow forts.

My early introduction to the art and my father's love of popcorn pretty much clinched it for me. At varying ages I would sneak out after school before my parents got home and spent my lunch money at the local cineplex to watch the latest American release. This of course was followed by lies about doing my homework so I could then watch whatever they rented from the Embassy video store so long as it wasn't rated-R (I'd watch those when no one was looking).

Movies have made me who I am today...underemployed, homeless and not exactly on good terms with my family. You could say its a double-edged sword. Still, I'm looking forward to the future. With the love of my life at my side and an increasingly burdensome collection of DVDs, I am confident I will succeed in all my endeavors. Until such endeavors arrive however I am stuck in Michigan with little to do which brings me FINALLY to the point of this blog.

Through Facebook and in person, I have asked my friends and family to suggest 100 movies to watch in the near future. Watching the list they're to created would raise my total to an even 3000 and prove once and for all I have no life. Here are the rules I have setup for myself.

1. I will watch only the movies on the list, nothing more, nothing less. One hundred be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be one hundred. one hundred one shalt thou not count, neither count thou ninety-nine, excepting that thou then proceed to one hundred. One hundred five is right out.
2. The list shall consist only of feature length movies I have not seen.
3. I alone chose the order in which I will see them.
4. I will continue writing this blog to keep all abreast of my progress.

Here is a list of film titles.
1. Treasure Planet (2002)
2. Nightbreed (1990)
3. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein (1994)
4. Vatel (2000)
5. Ghost World (2001)
6. Fat, Sick and Nearly Dead (2010)
7. The Twilight Saga: Eclipse (2010)
8. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 1 (2011)
9. The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn Part 2 (2012)
10. Run, Fatboy, Run (2007)
11. A Bridge Too Far (1977)
12. The Last Starfighter (1984)
13. Good Ghouls Go Bad (2001)
14. Gallipoli (1981)
15. Attack Force Z (1982)
16. Hackers (1995)
17. Freeway (1996)
18. Running Scared (2006)
19. Brotherhood of the Wolf (2001)
20. Bunraku (2010)
21. Pups (1999)
22. Kids (1995)
23. Elephant (2003)
24. Starman (1984)
25. Another Day in Paradise (1998)
26. Alpha Dog (2006)
27. The Last Boy Scout (1991)
28. Levity (2003)
29. Narc (2002)
30. The Amateurs (2005)
31. The Suicide Club (2001)
32. The Dangerous Lives of Altar Boys (2002)
33. Tell No One (2006)
34. The Lorax (2012)
35. Salmon Fishing in Yemen (2011)
36. Pirates! Band of Misfits (2012)
37. The Avengers (2012)
38. Brave (2012)
39. Prometheus (2012)
40. To Have and Have Not (1944)
41. Breakfast at Tiffany's (1961)
42. The Parent Trap (1961)
43. Session 9 (2001)
44. Africa Screams (1949)
45. The Nines (2007)
46. The Last Unicorn (1982)
47. Uzumaki (2000)
48. Yo-Yo Girl Cop (2006)
49. Blood: The Last Vampire (2000)
50. Punisher: War Zone (2008)
51. Moon Child (2003)
52. Last Quarter (2004)
53. Pollyanna (1960)
54. Rock & Rule (1983)
55. Catacombs (2007)
56. Black Dynamite (2009)
57. Zombie Strippers! (2008)
58. Feast (2005)
59. Feast II: Sloppy Seconds (2008)
60. Feast III: The Happy Finish (2009)
61. Bronson (2008)
62. Warrior (2011)
63. Crazy, Stupid, Love. (2011)
64. Bottle Shock (2008)
65. Ned Kelly (2003)
66. Biker Boyz (2003)
67. Martha Marcy May Marlene (2011)
68. My Life Without Me (2003)
69. Guinevere (1999)
70. Wasting Away (2007)
71. Blackout (1978)
72. The Killer (1989)
73. Run Silent Run Deep (1958)
74. Dead Snow (2009)
75. Trust (2010)
76. Hunger Games (2012)
77. Soul Plane (2004)
78. Tokyo Gore Police (2008)
79. TrollHunter (2010)
80. Animals (2008)
81. Paintball (2009)
82. The Shadow (1994)
83. Centurion (2010)
84. Vampire Hunter D (1985)
85. Vampire Hunter D: Bloodlust (2000)
86. Dune (1984)
87. Xanadu (1980)
88. Nowhere Boy (2009)
89. Hobo With a Shotgun (2011)
90. The Room (2003)
91. Shock Treatment (1981)
92. Get Carter (1971)
93. Point Blank (1967)
94. Leap Year (2010)
95. The Long Good Friday (1980)
96. Resident Evil: Extinction (2007)
97. Resident Evil: Afterlife (2010)
98. Dorian Gray (2009)
99. Prom Night (1980)
100. Why Did I Get Married Too? (2010)