Chapter 14: Fjun in the Fjords

To celebrate the (knock on wood) end of winter, I sat down and watched two films produced in the subarctic wastelands of Scandinavia. Both were creature features and thankfully neither had a fatalistic obsession with death, guilt and Christian symbolism. Both were actually quite inventive and fun in their own twisted kind of way. Also they're Norwegian not Swedish.

The first was 2010’s TrollHunter, the tale of a group of students who follow whom they believe to be a bear poacher, but who turns out to be something a lot more. What more? Consult the title. Devotees will recall I tried to watch TrollHunter on Netflix earlier last week and failed conclusively. Thankfully back at the apartment I was able to get a good connection and stream it without too much trouble

The movie is made to look like one of those handheld “discovered footage” films that have been invading movie theaters and rental places as of late. The style was first employed with rapturous reception in The Blair Witch Project (1999) and has since been used with diminishing returns. Here however the style doesn’t hurt the movie like it did in say Cloverfield (2008), but it certainly doesn’t help much either. What does help is the inclusion of Otto Jespersen playing the crusty troll-hunter who reluctantly allows the film crew into his inner sanctum. It also helps that the creatures themselves are pretty cool too.

The end kind of bothered me a bit. I won’t ruin it other than to say it seems a little random and ultimately does everything that came before it little service. But hey, at least while being let down by a lackluster ending, you get to see the mother of all epic battles, albeit through a handheld camera. Ultimately it was well worth my time and will be well worth yours to check TrollHunter out if you can.

Dead Snow however I would not recommend as highly to anyone other than fans of schlocky horror. Like TrollHunter, the film takes place in Norway and follows a group of young students. Unlike TrollHunter however, the students come across a battalion of Nazi zombies out to find hidden treasure. At least that’s what I think they’re after, the plots not 100% clear. What is clear is they’re out for blood so long as its as comically gory. It’s funny; they are clever enough to know when they’re being taunted and coordinated enough to run, climb trees and use binoculars yet they’re too dumb to use their pistols.
And while I hate to use the word cliche (because its so cliche), Dead Snow has a whole glut of them. Characters split up from each other despite evidence they shouldn't, people who were told to stay away from the window don’t, and of course, the people who have sex, die.

Just once I want the pervy guy or the loose girl to survive. Or at least make it to the next round! I mean its gotten to the point where people have been conditioned to expect death after sex in horror movies. What kind of subliminal message do you think that sends? If you do arguably the most natural thing a human can ever do, you will be sodomized with a machete by Jason Vorhees. You want abstinence based sex ed? Show Sleepaway Camp (1983) in class.Let’s just imagine if we lived in a world where the lessons learned through horror films applied. No one would ever ask for directions, no one would ever visit Texas, and behemoth serial killers would be ambling around with more stab wounds and bullet holes in them than a dead Detroit native. Not to mention every creepy old man with an ominous story to tell would get a book deal to warn the masses.

Ultimately despite a novel concept, Dead Snow is just a boring retread of every horror film you've ever seen. Even the most inspired moments are lifted from other movies. TrollHunter on the other hand is surprisingly fun and shows ingenuity both in front and behind the camera. In the end, I can safely conclude the Norwegians sure do have a flair for the supernatural and a tendency to have some fun behind the camera.