After a long unintended break from movie watching
I jumped right back on the horse and enjoyed a double feature of cheesy 1980' Star Wars rip-offs. I was lucky enough to get a hold of a bunch of DVDs that were loaned to me by a friend. If all goes well I will be viewing them all by the end of the week. Unfortunately a couple more obscure movies on the list have evaded me so far. I wonder, where am I going to get Gallipoli (1980) or Kids (1995)? Most rental places don't have anything that old and the library doesn't exactly have the most thorough of collections. I suppose if all else fails I can restart my Netflix snail mail account but then again, who on earth would want to do that?The first film I watched this past night was 1984's Dune. Based on a cult science fiction novel and directed by cult director David Lynch, Dune is one of those films that appeals to a very narrow group of people. Those outside the closely knit circle of fans i.e. those who haven't read the Frank Herbert novel are simply not on its wavelength. Cults after all are exclusive. It's also not technically a Star Wars clone but its similar enough.
I haven't read Dune so naturally I didn't like the movie adaptation. My understanding of the novel is that it's so complex and descriptive that David Lynch's original cut was four hours long. After being a pretty sizable box-office bomb, so many different versions of Dune were released that according to some fans watching each is like watching completely different movies. I'm not sure which cut I got, all I know is it was a muddled misshapen mess. Something about a prophecy, political maneuvering between feudal dukes and the possession of a "spice" that can allow trans-navigation throughout the universe. Not to baffle intergalactic parlance but if it can make you jump through time and space (not to mention see Captain Jean-Luc Picard) its not a spice its a drug.Evidently the makers of this Lawrence of
Arabia meets Avatar sci-fi were tripping major balls because even if all the awkward story arcs were smoothed over, you'd be left with a very frightening looking movie. Disturbing images include a sadistic, pustule-ridden flying man, a graphic birthing scene, gigantic desert worms being ridden by desert dwelling nomads, and a half-naked Sting. It was like walking into a H.R. Giger painting during a bad acid trip. In addition, everyone, and I mean everyone's inner monologue chimed in with unnecessary commentary and lugubrious exposition. My guess is the actors' voices were plugged in during post-production in a half-baked attempt to make the movie more comprehensible.
My second helping of space travel adventure came in the form of the corny but fun Last Starfighter (1984). The concept for the film is so stupidly simple, I can imagine the writer pitching the idea to producers resulting in a bidding war. The story follows a teen named Alex (Lance Guest) who after beating an all-time record on an arcade game gets a chance to do it all for real. It's nice to think every time you win a video game there might be someone out there looking for your exact qualifications for kicking ass and taking names.One thing I immediately noticed during the movie was the presence of The Music Man (1962) himself Robert Preston as Alex's recruiter Centauri. When he is first introduced you can barely make out his face but his voice, at least to me, is unmistakable. His speech has a rhythmic pattern
to it that resembles an amiable used car salesman. I honestly hoped he would start rambling the words to "Ya Got Trouble" as a form of fan service to me and me alone. It also didn't help that he was sporting a beige suit with a red bow tie.Overall my adventures in space were a wash. Nothing really stood out from the pack and nothing nears anywhere close to the near perfection of the original Star Wars trilogy. Both movies owe their existence to them since without Star Wars the sci-fi genre would still be in The Thing From Another World (1951) territory. Instead of watching The Last Starfighter or Dune I recommend going home and hugging your Star Wars collection. If you don't have one, get one and watch them again. Especially if you have the original cuts.
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